Roll on the floor laughing at yet more humorous jokes! ... don't forget to tell
us if you have anymore to add!
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More wedding jokes ...
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Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your
future wife, always remember to get the last two words in: "Yes dear".
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This married couple were travelling down the highway at a very rapid pace, when
a patrolman put on the siren and pulled them over. The officer said to the husband
"Can I see your license and registration". The husband says " Why?
I wasn't doing anything wrong.", The patrolman replies "Sir I caught you
on radar at 110 kilos an hour and the sped limit is 80 in this zone, I'll have to
give you a ticket." Well the husband goes nuts saying that he wasn't speeding
and the patrolman should be out catching criminals instead harassing law abiding
citizens that him and his wife. The patrolman is trying to reason with the husband
when the wife leans over and looks at the patrolman and says "You'll have to
excuse my husband, he always gets like this when he has been drinking"
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Why can't women ski?
Because there isn't a ski slope between the kitchen and the bed room
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Why can't women cross the road?
Who cares they shouldn't be out of the damn kitchen!
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I believe that sex between two people is a beautiful thing....between five its fantastic.
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I haven't spoken to my Mother-In-Law for eighteen months....I don't like to interrupt
her
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What did the banana say to the dildo?
What the hell are you shaking for shes going to eat me?
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The celebrant noticed that the bride was in great distress so asked her what was
wrong. She replied that she was nervous and afraid she would not remember what to
do. The celebrant told her that she only needed to remember 3 things.
First the aisle, because that is what you'll be walking down. Secondly, the alter
because that is where you will arrive.
Finally, remember hymn because that is a type of song we will sing during the service.
While the bride was walking to the wedding march, family and friends of the groom
were horrified to hear her repeating these 3 words. . . Aisle, alter hymn (I'll
alter him!)
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Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
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Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?
Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole
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Why do brides wear white?
To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.
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Love: that delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering
that she looks like a haddock!
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