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Maid of Honour Duties: 21 Tasks for the Maid of Honour

Being a maid of honour is both a privilege and a responsibility. Here's everything you'll need to know to be the best support the couple could ask for...

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A bride and a maid of honour in their dressing gowns looking out the window of a wedding venue.
Celine Druguet

A bride and a maid of honour in their dressing gowns looking out the window of a wedding venue.
Celine Druguet

Congratulations! Having the chance to be your bestie’s maid of honour is so exciting. Whether they’re your oldest friend, your sibling, or the pair of you hit it off at work and now can’t get through the day without each other, you’re now about to play a leading role in one of the biggest days of their life – and with that comes plenty of responsibility and maid of honour duties.

Sometimes referred to as ‘chief bridesmaid’, ‘matron of honour’ or ‘best woman’, ultimately the maid of honour is the couple’s right-hand gal and confidant.

It’s also a decision the couple wouldn’t have made lightly; these days we all have so many friends from different areas of our lives, not to mention a need to observe the delicate balance of family politics that comes with planning a wedding, that we can’t imagine you were asked, ‘will u be my maid of honour’ casually over text or off the cuff. Instead, it’s very much likely the bride spent ages googling ‘will you be my maid of honour ideas’ to find the most perfect way to pop the question.  

Maid of Honour Duties: The Ultimate Maid of Honour Checklist

From organising the bridesmaids and attending dress appointments to giving a knockout maid of honour speech that would make even the most stony-faced guests feel teary, your support will be required in both the run up to the wedding and on the special day itself – yep, there’s definitely more to being a maid of honour than just planning an amazing hen do!

So, arm yourself with a notepad, pen and a cuppa, and check out our handy list of FAQs below to ensure you’ve got what it takes to be the best maid of honour you can be.

What is a Maid of Honour?

A bride walking out of the wedding venue with the maid of honour holding her train.
Jennifer Kalenberg

Often a childhood friend, best friend or sibling, the maid of honour is typically chosen by the bride to act as her right-hand woman throughout the wedding planning process. Some couples choose to have more than one maid of honour, others might choose a man or mate of honour, while some abandon tradition altogether and have no one!

Historically, the term ‘maid of honour’ comes from the tradition of a maiden – a woman who has never been married and whose duty or ‘honour’ was to attend to a queen or princess.

So, what is a matron of honour? Traditionally, if the maid of honour is unmarried, they’re called ‘maid of honour’ or ‘chief bridesmaid’. If they are married, they go by matron of honour.

The role can also be traced back to the ancient Romans, who believed that evil spirits haunted weddings. In order to protect the couple, witnesses – including the maid of honour – were required to dress in the same clothing as the nearlyweds to confuse the spirits. The maid of honour’s role was to stick by the bride and protect her from any spirits who might steal her away before the ceremony.

And you thought today’s maid of honour role was stressful!

Thankfully, we’ve come a long way. But between making a speech, shutting down squabbles, planning a hen do and being a shoulder to cry on, as maid of honour you will need to be confident, organised and a good listener.

What Do Maids of Honour Do?

So, what are the duties of a maid of honour? Well, maid of honour tasks will vary from wedding to wedding and will also depend on what the couple needs. Some couples will want their maid of honour to be super hands-on and involved in all aspects of the day, while others will just want you to be there for the big moments.

Your maid or matron of honour duties will also depend on the size of the wedding party. If it’s just you, for example, there’ll likely be more to do. If there are two of you – or a sizeable number of bridesmaids – jobs may be shared out between you.

A maid of honour and bridesmaid are both important roles – but typically the maid of honour has more responsibilities. To help you determine which maid of honour tasks you will need to remember, we’ve drawn up a complete maid of honour checklist below, including the duties required before the wedding, on the day and post-wedding, too.

Maid of Honour Duties Before the Wedding

The bride and her maid of honour dancing and singing into microphones at the wedding. They're wearing sunglasses and a DJ is in the background.

1. Organise the Engagement Party

You have been officially chosen as the couple's right-hand person, so when it comes to celebrating the engagement, traditionally it’s your job to be on hand to help with organising whatever it is the couple wants. It could be planning an engagement party, helping them with wedding supplier enquiries, or organising a casual drinks reception at a close family member's home.

Whatever it is, this is your chance to show the couple you’re more than ready to get stuck in with planning. 

2. Go Dress Shopping

Shopping for a wedding dress or outfit is definitely one of the more exciting events in the wedding planning journey but it can also be an anxious time for the bride. Body insecurities and the pressure to find 'the one' can feel overwhelming and as their closest confidant and maid of honour, it's your job to help alleviate those worries.

When we took Vicky Pattison wedding dress shopping, one of her biggest pieces of advice was to take along 'positive pigeons only' – and we couldn't agree more. It’s your job to be that beacon of positivity and refuge, whether you visit one or 100 wedding dress shops

3. Help Choose the Bridesmaid Dresses

As well as wedding dress shopping, the maid of honour may also be required to help choose the bridesmaid dresses. Sometimes, bridesmaids and the maid of honour wear different dress styles (we love a mismatched bridesmaids look), other times the couple might choose for you all to wear the same. Having too many opinions in this process can be challenging, so you’ll need to act as the voice of reason.

As the maid of honour, you’re leading the rest of the bridesmaids so make sure they’re all organised, and help to round everyone up for bridesmaid dress shopping sessions and fittings.

Take some stress off your friend by planning the itinerary for any dress shopping days out – look for a fun place to go for lunch and if you need to, book dress shop appointments and make sure you’ve left enough time to navigate from place to place.

It’s traditional for the couple to pay for the bridesmaid dresses, however this isn’t always the case. As the maid of honour, encourage the couple to communicate with the bridesmaids so everyone knows who is paying for what, and that includes accessories and professional hair and makeup – to save any awkwardness.

4. Organise the Bridesmaids 

A bride and her six bridesmaids all posing with their bouquets and smiling for the camera. The bridesmaids are wearing blue and white floral dresses.

As the wedding date approaches, make sure the bridesmaids know what time they need to arrive, where everyone is getting ready and if there’s anything they need to bring.

Think about useful things to have to hand – such as large umbrellas to help in case of bad weather. It’s also a nice idea to put together a wedding emergency kit for your bestie. You never know when you might need tissues or plasters!

If the bridesmaids don't all know each other it's a great idea to connect everyone on a group chat. That way everyone will be on friendly terms by the time the hen party comes around. We don't want a scene from Bridesmaids unfolding!

5. Plan the Hen Party

As well as helping your friend pull off the big day – you’ve also got a certain little night out to plan. Organising the hen party is your moment to really shine. Consult all the bridesmaids for ideas and ask your friend who they'd like to attend. 

It might be that you need to arrange two celebrations: a hen party for the party gang and a more subdued celebration that parents and older relatives can attend. Rather than asking people what dates they can do, pick two or three and ask who can make which date. This can feel like a more brutal approach, but it’ll make it easier to narrow it down to just one weekend.

Make sure you’re also aware of everyone’s budget – there’s not much point organising a dream weekend in Marbella when your pal's friends don’t have the funds.

The hen party should take place up to three months before the wedding – this gives time for any bruises to fade if it’s especially active, or for people to recover from their hangovers! The maid of honour should be thinking about little details to make the hen party extra special, too.

6. Get Hands On With Wedding Planning

You may be the couple's sounding board for ideas – so be prepared to be consulted on everything from wedding colour schemes to the wedding cake flavour.

The maid of honour duties might also entail more hands on wedding tasks like writing or addressing wedding invitations, making DIY confetti cones or assembling homemade favours. Organise a craft night complete with their favourite snacks and drinks to turn wedding planning tasks into a fun girls’ night. 

Once the invitations are out, you might be required to help organise the RSVPs or filter through the menu choices if the couple have a lot to look at.

7. Provide Emotional Support

Planning a wedding is fun and exciting, but it can also be stressful at times, and when you find yourself having WhatsApp exchanges at 3am four days before the wedding because reportedly ‘he’s not sure’, you’ll undoubtedly need to be the one to calmly explain that he was just talking about the cake and that they need to get some sleep.

Remember to be supportive without being overbearing – you might even want to have a conversation with the bride to discuss what level of involvement they want you to have.

While your main responsibility is to help with the planning, ensure you're still pencilling in some fun too. A relaxing afternoon getting your nails done, or a de-stressing night out will be just what the bride-to-be needs!

8. Plan in Some Non-Wedding Time

The couple will have lived and breathed wedding planning for a while now, so if schedules permit, try and organise some non-wedding time with them. It's not only important for them to have some time away from wedding favours and place names, but it's also important for you to have time together as friends outside of wedding planning. 

9. Finalise Details With Vendors and Guests

If there are any hired items that need collecting, you can help out by offering to pick them up, so the couple aren’t stressing about these things the day before their wedding.

The maid of honour might be needed to help set up the reception room the night before, if the venue allows, and you might need to attend last minute beauty appointments, such as a mani/pedi.

If you’re staying with the wedding party the night before, it’s a great idea to put together a sleepover kit – think hot chocolate, champagne, nibbles and some classic wedding-themed films, as well as some pampering beauty treats (but avoid anything new – you don’t want to risk a breakout the day before the wedding).

Maid of Honour Duties On the Wedding Day

A maid of honour in a green bridesmaid dress helping the bride do up her wedding dress in a bedroom.

10. Help Get Ready

The big day has finally arrived, and the first thing you’ll need to prioritise is helping your friend to get ready.

They might need assistance with hair and makeup, or help getting into a dress. You should also make sure they've had a good breakfast – we’ve got breakfast ideas for the morning of your wedding to inspire you.

You’ll also have a gaggle of bridesmaids to keep in line: the maid of honour, bridesmaids and mum traditionally all travel to the ceremony together and leave 10 minutes before the nearlywed so they’re there to see them arrive.

Before your friend sets off down the aisle, make sure they look picture-perfect by helping to arrange their hair and veil. Whether the bridesmaids go before or after them depends on the style of entrance the couple have opted for – it’s a British tradition for a bride to go first, but many prefer the American format of the bridesmaids leading the way – saving the nearlywed ‘til last.

11. Be a Point of Contact

From seating relatives to organising the band, there are always little bits of organisation that need to happen on the day of the wedding. Late arrivals and minor timing issues are sometimes unavoidable, but what you as the maid of honour can do is avoid the couple being aware of any of it.

Before the wedding, ensure they give vendors and key guests your number so you can be the point of contact for any last-minute changes or conversations with on-the-day suppliers.

If the flowers are being delivered, make sure they’re all present and correct, and hand out everyone’s bouquet before you head to the ceremony.

12. Hold the Bride’s Bouquet

During the ceremony, you’ll need to hold the bouquet – you may also be asked to give a reading or be a witness while the newlyweds sign the register.

After the ceremony, the happy couple will leave first, and the maid of honour and best man will follow together.

13. Stand in the Receiving Line

At the reception, if there is a receiving line, you will need to join the newlyweds to greet the guests as they arrive for the wedding breakfast. You may also help by pointing people in the direction of the table plan. 

14. Ensure the Gift Table is Organised

If there is a gift table, lend a hand by taking the presents and displaying them. Not everyone notices gift tables and many people will forget to pop cards in the post box or leave their gifts, so having someone like you on hand to ensure people are pointed in the right direction is helpful. 

15. Sit at the Top Table

The maid of honour is traditionally seated on the top table along with the happy couple, their parents and the best man. If there’s a different line up on the top table, it may be that you are seated among the guests, ‘hosting’ a table of your own.

16. Give a Speech or a Reading

A maid of honour standing to give a toast.

Depending on what the couple decide, you may be required to give a reading during the ceremony. The couple might also want you to give a toast or maid of honour speech at the reception. Whether you’re writing your own or hope to blow them away with a knock-your-socks-off rendition of The Velveteen Rabbit, just make sure you’re fully prepared with notes.  

17. Keep Your Friend Looking Fabulous!

As the day goes on, the bride may very well need help going to the bathroom – it can be tricky in a wedding dress! You’ll also need to be on makeup duty – be ready to correct smudges, keep that wedding foundation looking flawless, and have her lip gloss readily tucked in your clutch at all times!

18. Clear the Wedding Suite

If you and the rest of the wedding party enjoyed getting ready that morning in the wedding suite, it’s safe to say, it might have been left a bit of a mess.

So the room is clean and tidy for the happy couple on their first married night together, it’s a nice idea to head up there during the reception and have a quick tidy up. We're sure the couple will appreciate it!

Maid of Honour Duties After the Wedding 

The maid of honour and bridesmaids seeing the bride in her dress for the first time and smiling.

19. Return Hired Clothes

If the newlyweds jet off on honeymoon straight away, you might be asked to help out by returning any hired clothes or accessories or storing the dress until they're back and ready to collect it.

20. Tidy the Venue

The maid of honour may also be needed to help remove decorations and gifts from the wedding venue and transport these for the couple. In fact, even if the couple haven’t asked you to do this, it's a really nice thing to offer to do. Everyone's heads will be sore so it’s time to club together for a big old clean-up (if the venue requires you to do so). 

21. Help With Thank You Notes

With all the gifts and cards received, the couple may want help with organising their thank you notes and cards. They may want to do these themselves and make them personal, but you could always offer a hand with posting or sealing. 

Your Maid of Honour Questions Answered

It's only natural to have questions about the maid of honour duties and responsibilities – here’s everything you need to know!

Can a Bride Have Two Maid of Honours? 

Yes, a bride can certainly have two maids of honour! In fact, a bride can have one, two, three, or even more maids of honour if they like. 

Hannah Rose, multi-award-winning wedding planner and event manager says, “A bride will usually have two (or even more) maid of honours if they have multiple close friends or family members that they want to honour equally in the role. Sometimes it’s hard to decide between two besties, especially when they each bring unique strengths and qualities to the table, so why not?”

If you find yourself sharing the role with another one of the bride’s besties, then try to come together and decide on how you will both share the maid of honour duties and responsibilities equally. One of you might excel at organisational tasks, while the other offers a constant source of emotional strength.

Hannah adds, “Having two maids of honours can not only ease the burden of decision-making but also ensure that the bride has the best support system possible. By teaming up and playing to your strengths, you'll make sure the bride's got all the backup they need for their big day. After all, teamwork makes the dream wedding work (and keeps you both from getting overwhelmed)!”

Can a Bride Have a Man of Honour? 

Absolutely! Having a man of honour in the bride's party not only brings a fresh perspective but also offers valuable support and camaraderie during the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. It's all about celebrating love, friendship, and the joyous union of two individuals, regardless of who stands by their side.

In fact, “the concept of having a 'man of honour' or 'brides-man' is becoming increasingly popular and accepted," explains Hannah. “Including male friends or family members in the bride's party adds a wonderful touch of inclusivity and diversity to the wedding festivities. It's a testament to the evolving nature of wedding traditions, embracing the idea that the bridal party should consist of the people who hold the closest and most meaningful connections to the couple, regardless of gender.”

Does the Maid of Honour Get the Bride a Gift? 

While there's no strict rule that the maid of honour must give the bride a gift, it's a thoughtful gesture that many choose to make anyway. 

It’s customary for all wedding guests to give the couple a gift to mark the occasion, but if you want to treat the bride to something a little more personalised and special, then by all means do it.

Personalised or sentimental gifts, such as engraved jewellery bearing a heartfelt message, or a framed photo collage of your friendship make for wonderful choices and are often treasured as keepsakes, serving as lasting reminders of that special time. Alternatively, you could treat the bride to something a little more practical like a luxurious spa day, to help her unwind before the big day.

Likewise, if you're reading this as a nearlywed, these are all good options for maid of honour gifts.

One of the perks of being the maid of honour is that you’ll have plenty of opportunities to spend quality time with the bride-to-be in the lead-up to her wedding. This means you’ll have plenty of chances to brainstorm and come up with a fantastic gift idea that they’ll adore.

Does a Maid of Honour Have to Be Married?

No, a maid of honour does not have to be married! In fact, the term ‘maid of honour’ comes from the tradition of a maiden – a woman who has never been married.

What is the Difference Between Maid of Honour and Matron of Honour? 

Traditionally, the difference between a maid of honour and matron of honour is marital status. The title of maid of honour is usually kept for the bride's unmarried best friend or close relative who stands by their side during the wedding ceremony, while the matron of honour title applies if the bride's closest confidante is already married. 

However, in recent years, couples are increasingly opting for the title 'maid of honour' regardless of the chosen individual's marital status and despite the different titles the roles and responsibilities remain the same.

Remember an excellent maid of honour can make the world of difference when it comes to wedding planning! Are you planning a maid of honour speech? Check out our guide to nailing it.

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