Already Wedding Ready: I'm a Plus Size, Curvy Woman
Influencer Chloe explains her journey to finding love, practising self-love and planning her special day as someone who is #AlreadyWeddingReady
As part of our #AlreadyWeddingReady campaign, we spoke to Chloe, of @ChloeinCurve_ on Instagram, who opened up about her journey to being 'wedding ready' as a plus size woman. If you're inspired by Chloe's story, download our #AlreadyWeddingReady badge and join the campaign, sharing your own story on your social channels.
Hi, I’m Chloe, and I’m getting married!
I’ve been engaged since 2018, but have only recently started planning my wedding - more on that later. But you can imagine how excited I was to start. After years of delays due to the pandemic, health issues and other factors, I finally felt ready to dive into the world of wedding planning.
So you can imagine my disappointment when I began to realise the pressure that being engaged puts plus size people under.
I feel like I’ve read all the articles, looked into every wedding prep story possible, trawled Pinterest for inspo, followed a few wed-spo accounts, and all I kept seeing were the same things.
‘Tips on how to get wedding ready!’ Initially, I thought, brilliant, this will give me tips on what to buy from Etsy, which gift list to use, advice on wedding budgets and so on. But sadly, that wasn’t the case.
Instead, it was all fad juice diets, weight-loss this and workouts that. I instantly felt this intense pressure to get into a calorie deficit and essentially completely change my body for my wedding day.
I’ll start by saying, I’m so glad you’ve landed on this article and not one of those, but if you’ve ever experienced that same pressure during your wedding planning journey, I’m sorry. It’s really not fun.
- What Being 'Wedding Ready' Means to Me
- Feeling #AlreadyWeddingReady
- Finding Love as a Plus Size Woman
- I'm Already Wedding Ready & So Are You
What Being ‘Wedding Ready’ Means to Me
Our society benefits from us women when we are desperately looking for a quick weight loss fix, or the next ‘look 10 years younger’ product.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for body autonomy, and what you do with yours is no one else’s business but your own, but I want to remind you that you really don’t need to do any of that. You don't need to lose weight for your wedding. And this is coming from someone who knows what it’s like to consider it all.
For me, being ‘wedding ready’ doesn’t involve a quick-fix diet, a juice cleanse or changing my body in any way at all.
Being in a happy relationship with someone who really loves me for exactly who I am has made me realise that I was already wedding ready the minute my partner decided to propose.
Being happy and kind to yourself, being in a healthy and loving relationship and doing things your way are all that you need to be wedding ready. But I get it, it’s so much easier said than done.
To help you see just how possible it is to be a gorgeous, plus size bride-to-be and genuinely feel completely wedding ready, here’s my story to how I got here, and some tips on how to truly embrace your beautiful curvy body on your wedding day.
There’s No Such Thing As a ‘Perfect Wedding’
The pressure to plan the perfect wedding, look the perfect way and have the perfect figure is something that impacts most engaged people, but planning a wedding as a plus sized woman can make that inner saboteur even more prominent.
In my experience, I feel like the wedding industry as a whole is pretty guilty of pushing the rhetoric ‘perfect’ wedding days, couples and goals. But in reality, the perfect wedding is going to look different for every couple.
If you want my advice, I say reject those cultural norms and remember that whatever size you are, your partner loves you. Your partner wants to marry you. So you don’t need anyone else’s acceptance, approval or opinion.
Feeling #AlreadyWeddingReady
You may be sitting here thinking, well that’s nice for you, but I just don’t feel that same confidence.
So I’m going to share with you some of the things I find really helpful in keeping me on track, keeping my levels of self-love high and maintaining that mantra that I am already wedding ready.
1. Surround Yourself With the Right People
Alongside finding the right social media accounts to follow, it's even more important to surround yourself with the right people in the planning of your wedding and your actual wedding day.
Going for a dress fitting? Only take your closest and most supportive friends and family members. Got that one friend that continually makes body shaming comments? Remove them from your list.
Got a mother-in-law-to-be that consistently gives you THAT look? She’s off the list too. This is your time to focus on yourself, your own mental health and well-being.
It’s 2023, we have zero room for snide comments, body shaming, and body negativity in general.
If there's someone you feel like you have to take with you to your dress fitting that can be difficult, have a chat with them beforehand about your expectations. Be honest, because finding your dream dress should be one of the most special experiences for you.
2. Finding the Right Outfit
If you’re plus size and looking for a wedding dress, I’d definitely recommend visiting a specific plus size boutique.
Not only will you be able to try on many beautiful dresses, but you’ll likely be able to chat with the boutique staff who will be well versed in different sizes, shapes and styles to help find you that dream dress.
Unfortunately, many wedding dress stores stop at a size 16 in the UK, so it’s worth researching plus size wedding dress shops in the UK to check if there are any relevant stores near you stocking your size.
It’s also important to remember that the size label on that dress means nothing. It does not define you as a person, it doesn't change how your partner feels about you so please don't let it affect how you feel about yourself. There are so many beautiful plus size wedding dress designs out there, you will find something that makes you feel so amazing, I promise.
You were made for more than chasing a certain little number on a clothing label.
Buy the dress that you feel incredible in in the size you are now, not one you plan on fitting into eventually.
Of course, we don't know how much our bodies will change over months or a year, but setting yourself up for an unattainable goal could have a serious affect on your mental - and physical - health.
3. Talk Kindly to Yourself
It’s so easy to get caught up in that self-loathing narrative, but the way you speak to yourself can really have a huge impact on your mindset. Instead of looking at your body and tearing it apart, why not appreciate what it’s done for you, and how unique it is.
Those natural features we all have like beautiful ripples of cellulite or little silver stretch marks - they are the imperfections that make you, you!
Try to free yourself from the negative self-talk and begin to realise how beautifully unique you are. Your partner shouldn’t and won’t care if you’ve lost a dress size or put one on - and if they do, you have to consider if that’s a healthy partnership for you.
Focus on the parts of your body that make you feel the most confident. Amplify the parts you already like, and start to be a little kinder to the bits that aren’t your favourite.
This is definitely something I’ve had to work hard on over the years. I used to actively avoid even glancing at myself in the mirror for years, but after focussing on the parts I did like, I eventually started to appreciate the parts I’d torn apart.
My extra hip curves, the arm rolls, the stretch marks that pop up - I’ve learned to appreciate that they are part of me and the world doesn't end or stop because they’re on my body.
Your body has been with you forever, you’ve spent all of your monumental life moments together so please give yourself a break.
4. Boost Your Confidence in Ways You Can Control
Being and feeling self-confident takes more than just telling yourself to be confident - we all know that. But we all also know which things make us feel good and give us that little boost we often need.
I’ve started to focus on the small things that make me feel my best and give me a confidence boost, and doing these in the lead up to a big event like your wedding can really make a difference.
For me, it’s things like having my nails done, popping on a bit of tan, buying an outfit that makes me feel amazing. It could be anything - whatever makes you happy, whether that’s yoga, journaling, shaving your legs - whatever makes you feel good, do it!
5. Comparison is the Thief of Joy
I say it because it really is the truth. It’s completely normal and common to compare aspects of yourself or your life to others, but if it’s making you unhappy, you have to try and unlearn those behaviours.
You, your body, your life, is completely unique to the person you're trying to compare yourself to. Follow social media accounts that make you feel good, and remove any that don't. Social media can be a massive positive influence in terms of self-love when you find the right people, so be brutal!
Cut anyone that’s making you feel any negativity towards your body. I did this recently and it really helped. I went through my pages and did a massive social media cull of any accounts that made me feel bad about my body, any mention of a weight loss tea or a fad diet - gone!
Your partner loves you exactly as you are, and wouldn't change you, and I bet you wouldn’t want to change them - so please start giving yourself the same kindness.
My Journey to Finding Love As a Plus Size Woman
I know, it sounds easy when you say it like that, but it wasn’t always self-love and confidence for me. Dating as a plus size woman can be an absolute rollercoaster of emotions - been there, done it.
Unless you’ve lived it, it can be hard to understand the fear of having to continually ensure that the person you’re going on a date with knows that you’re plus size, worrying that even though you’ve sent 50 pictures, they might not realise you’re plus size and be disappointed?
Then there’s also the constant pressure to look smaller and lose weight before meeting someone in person. It can be a real minefield.
If I’m honest, I had pretty much given up on dating until I found my fiancé. I had recently been diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis - an autoimmune condition which affects both my joints and skin. Mentally, I was not in a good place. I felt very low and definitely wasn’t looking for anything serious.
In fact, I was looking for any reason or excuse not to see him, because I really didn’t feel that worthy of love at all.
But you know that overwhelmingly cliche saying: “It’ll happen when you least expect it,” - well, that’s what happened to me. Being newly diagnosed with a chronic illness, I was going through so many emotions, yet he stood by me every step of the way and helped me adjust to my new way of life.
Being shown such high levels of kindness when I least expected it really helped me get to a better place mentally, and really shaped the woman I am today as a result of the healthy relationship I’m in.
Another thing to happen when I least expected it was our engagement. Justin proposed to me in 2018 - I full on ugly cried and sobbed non-stop! And here we are, almost nine years later, we have our own home, a little sausage dog and a 2024 wedding to plan.
I'm #AlreadyWeddingReady, and So Are You
I hope you find wedding planning fun and as stress free as possible. Please be kind to yourself, don't set unreasonable goals, and please know that you are already wedding ready in terms of your body, you don't need to change a thing.
For me, being ‘wedding ready’ was about doing work on all of the above, and showing up on my day as the authentic, curvy lass that I am, but what does it mean to you?
I’d love to know! Share your story using #AlreadyWeddingReady, download the #AlreadyWeddingReady badge and help spread the word (and the love!) as far as we can.
Chloe x
Want to read more inspirational stories from people who are #AlreadyWedding Ready?
- Already Wedding Ready as a Bald Woman With Alopecia
- Already Wedding Ready as a Disabled Wheelchair User
- Already Wedding Ready as a Transgender Couple
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