Your Body is Not a Trend: You Haven't Failed Because You've Gained Weight
For whoever needs to hear it, Sophie Lait is here once again to remind you that you are beautiful just as you are. You don't owe anybody skinny and she's about to prove it...
Sophie Lait, body positive influencer and Hitched regular, has taught us a lot this month. From explaining how to overcome insecurities as a bride-to-be, to helping couples navigate open conversations about sex, this woman really knows what she’s talking about.
Sophie is all about positivity and self-love, and one thing she’s always been super open and honest about on her social media platforms is her journey with her body. Rather than feeling shame, guilt or regret over her weight gain, Sophie has been a remarkable influence in paving the way for women to stop feeling bad for putting on weight.
Sophie has opened up about her journey to self-love and navigating her way through weight gain, and we can’t wait to share what this incredible woman has to say...
You Haven’t Failed Because You’ve Gained Weight
Putting on weight doesn’t mean you have failed. It doesn’t mean you have ‘let yourself go’ - god, that term needs benching for the rest of time. It doesn’t mean anything other than the mere fact you have gained weight.
Society’s Depiction of ‘Beauty’
If I'm going to be truthfully honest, my insecurities around body image started at a very young age. Like many young children, I watched my mum struggle with the relationship she had with her body, one which was inevitably passed on to me.
Diet culture has moved forward since I was younger, though there’s still a lot of work that needs to be done. But the impacts of it as you grow up, unfortunately, never really leave you.
I’m not proud to admit it, but I always viewed soft, bigger bodies as having ‘let themself go’. Internally, I was very fatphobic. But one thing I can say with absolute certainty is that it was society’s depiction of beauty that drove this.
How could I not be internally fatphobic and assume skinny is better when every magazine cover at the time either praised weight loss or shamed weight gain?
I always held onto the idea that thinness equalled the highest level of beauty and that was what should be aimed for. That’s what I desired for myself. I never truly believed that my bigger body would ever feel elegant or beautiful without weight loss. Oh my god, was I wrong!
READ MORE: Why You Don't Need to Lose Weight For Your Wedding
Weight Gain Doesn’t Need to be Excused
Take it from someone who’s actually been there and hear me when I say you do NOT need an excuse for putting on weight. It actually doesn’t concern anyone else, you don’t need to justify yourself, give a reason or even address it to *anyone*.
When I gained weight, I constantly found myself saying: “The pandemic has made me put on weight.” Whilst my weight gain did happen during the pandemic, and was down to a number of reasons out of my control, I actually didn’t need to say this at all.
Why? Because it literally doesn’t matter!
Bodies fluctuate all the time, it’s actually very normal and healthy to have your weight fluctuate throughout different phases of your life, especially if you are a woman! So the idea that our bodies need to adhere to the latest figure trend is completely absurd.
Your Body Isn’t a Trend
When you look back in history at the different ‘trends’ when it comes to body image and what society depicts to be a ‘beautiful’ woman, there are so many (completely different!) body shapes. The idea that anyone could adhere to this healthily is mad - and the idea anyone *should* is even madder.
Think about it, people used to be ridiculed for having freckles - and now they’re a trend. Being a redhead used to mean you were the butt of a joke - yet we’ve just witnessed red hair have a huge moment this autumn. And don’t even get me started on the fact we used to furiously pluck our eyebrows to shreds in the 90s and now bushy brows are in. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!
Your body is not a trend. Say it with me people! And trying to make it a trend, and keep up with what's supposedly in, is not healthy.
READ MORE: How to Manage Wedding Planning Stress and Look After Yourself
Fat Doesn’t Equal Unhealthy!
Weight gain and weight loss alike can occur as a result of so many different factors in a person’s life - physical, biological, circumstantial and psychological factors can all play a part. Because of this, a person’s health cannot be determined by their weight.
If health was determined by weight alone (don’t get me started on the outdated notion of BMI!), then all fat people would be unhealthy and all thin people would be healthy - but we all know this isn’t the case - far from it actually.
Someone could have a diet of crisps, drink fizzy drinks and drink excessive amounts of alcohol and not put on any weight, yet someone who eats three meals a day, full of colour and nutrition, who goes to the gym can experience weight gain and live in a bigger body. The worst part - guess which one of those people gets judged for being ‘unhealthy’?
I’ve come to realise that sadly, this world can be shallow and not understanding, so why should I invest my precious energy into trying to impress it all of the time! No. Not anymore!
You Don’t Owe The World ‘Skinny’
It’s taken me ‘losing’ the thinner body I had, to appreciate the bigger body I have now. I would’ve never been able to look at myself with kinder eyes had I not fallen out of my ‘body ideal’.
My journey with weight gain has given me so much perspective on body image. My relationship with my body has completely transformed for the better. Quite frankly, I never knew I could have this kind of perspective before.
For a long time now, I have always thought that everyone in any type of body is beautiful. But strangely enough, that kindness and openness didn’t stretch to my opinion of my *own* body.
In my confused little brain, I was still clinging onto this notion that my body was only going to be looked upon beautifully if it was smaller.
I’m so glad to be on the other side of that now. You might think it’s easier said than done, and I’ll be honest with you guys, that’s true. Getting to this place with my bigger body hasn’t been easy, but now I’m here I can assure you it’s so worth the fight.
At the end of the day, what others think is irrelevant. I’ve learnt not to waste my energy trying to keep up with society’s standards of beauty, and focus on my own. I wasted too many years as a teenager and young woman battling with weight gain, and I’m done.
I don’t want to spend my life chasing expectations I don’t need to reach, and neither should you. My body is beautiful in all forms, and so is yours. Remember that. You don’t need an excuse for weight gain. You don’t owe society thinness. Your body is not a trend.
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