Expert Tips for Your First Dance at Your Wedding

With all eyes on you, as you quite literally take the spotlight, performing your wedding first dance can feel like a daunting prospect – but it doesn’t need to be.

It’s true that the first dance isn’t just about your feet; a lot of what happens on the dancefloor begins in your headspace, especially if you’re the kind of couple who tends to shy away from the spotlight or would describe themselves as having two left feet.

That’s why – whether you want a slow and romantic ballad or an upbeat track that’ll have your guests clapping along – we consulted the experts for a few pointers and first dance ideas to help you out.

From who’s involved to when it takes place and how to banish any pre-dance nerves, we got the lowdown from two choreographers to help you get to grips with this romantic wedding tradition. Then, all you need to do next is choose the contenders for your first dance song!

Everything You Need to Know About Your Wedding First Dance

From how to quash any pre-dance jitters to when your first dance should take place, consider your burning first dance wedding questions answered.

What is the first dance at a wedding?

The first time a newlywed couple dances together at their wedding is known as ‘the first dance’. It’s often a much-anticipated event where guests look on from the sidelines, though more and more couples are now choosing to get their guests involved. Traditionally, however, the dancefloor was considered ‘open’ to guests following the first dance.

“The first dance really is a beautiful moment together, and different couples interpret it in different ways,” says Yvette Henderson, co-founder of The Next Step Co.

“Some couples feel like it signals the start of the party – and they love the idea of having that romantic moment together before the reception really kicks off – while others want to put on more of a show and are keen to show their guests a dance that they’ve really put a lot of thought and time into, and they have a lot of fun doing that.”

Who has the first dance at a wedding?

“The first dance usually just features the newlywed couple, though they may invite guests and other members of the wedding party to join them part-way through the song,” explains Emma Weir, instructor and founder of Forever Wedding Dance.

If you’re not keen on keeping the spotlight on just yourselves for too long, chat to your band or DJ, or whoever is in charge of the music, ahead of time. Decide on a point within the song where an announcement can be made asking guests to join you on the floor.

When is the first dance at a wedding?

Though the first dance traditionally marks the start of your evening reception, as with everything related to your wedding, feel free to perform your first dance at a time that’s best for you.

“Sometimes couples prefer to perform the first dance earlier in the reception, such as before the meal, especially if they’re feeling nervous about it,” adds Emma.

How should I announce the first dance at my wedding?

“Depending on your arrangements, your wedding dance could be announced by your master of ceremonies, the DJ or the band,” says Emma. “Discuss with them whether you want to walk onto the floor over the music or for them to wait until you are in place before the music starts.”

How do you do a first dance at your wedding?

The short answer? However you want! It doesn’t have to be a slow dance if that’s not what you feel comfortable with – these days, anything goes and couples are encouraged to move in a way that best fits their chosen music.

“Most modern couples want their song choice to reflect them and their relationship and, as a result, I’ve been asked to put together routines for all kinds of music,” agrees Emma. “Some couples know straightaway that they’d like to learn a whole routine, while others prefer to just learn a few moves in order to avoid that awkward ‘shuffle’.

“For slow dances, a traditional ballroom-style hold is a classic and allows you to lift your arm with ease if you want to add in some twirls or do a dip. Having a dance lesson or two before the big day to learn the basics can often help with things like hand placement and finding the beat in the music, which will help boost confidence on the dancefloor.

But it really doesn’t have to be complex, you just need to look and feel comfortable,” she adds.

Yvette agrees: “I’ve helped couples with as many beautiful, slow dances as I have fun and upbeat dances – and both are wonderful in their own way,” she says.

What is the traditional dance for a wedding first dance?

First dances have traditionally been slow styles rooted in ballroom, however, increasing numbers of couples are breaking away from tradition and choosing a style that suits them and their song choice.

Emma always allows the style of dance to stem from the music itself: “Unless the couple have asked to do a specific dance (and their song choice works for that rhythm), I tend to borrow movements from a range of dance styles and blend them to suit the music they want.”

“Latin is also becoming more and more popular,” adds Yvette. “So, we may end up doing some really basic salsa dancing, a cha-cha or a rumba! Something like that can also be really romantic as well as a bit sexy if that’s what you’re after,” she smiles.

How do I make my first dance unique?

“My biggest piece of advice is to always choose a song that works for you,” says Yvette. “Don’t choose a slow song just because it’s expected – if you want to choose an upbeat song because it represents you better as a couple, then go for it. Perhaps it’s a song that reminds you of your engagement or an amazing holiday that you had together, either way, it should make you smile.

“One of the most exciting parts of my job is mixing a couple’s chosen songs,” she adds. “Some couples will choose to have a minute of slow, romantic dancing – and they will often do something super easy that’s stemmed in ballroom – then the music will change, and they’ll swap to something exciting and upbeat, perhaps a dance more stemmed in jazz where they turn and face their audience,” she adds.

Should I practise my wedding first dance?

It’s a hard yes from Emma: “Get to know your music so you can feel the beat and find the highlights in the lyrics so you can add in some twirls or dips at key moments,” she says. “Even if you have lessons, find some time to rehearse between sessions so you can get the moves into your muscle memory and dance more intuitively.”

And should you practise your first dance in your wedding dress? Well, that’s down to you. Most nearlyweds wouldn’t consider practising their first dance in a wedding dress if they’re keen to keep it a secret from their partner before the big day, however, if you feel like you need to practise moving around in it ahead of time, it won’t hurt to pop it on and throw a few shapes in your living room.

What are the best first dance ideas for non-dancers?

“I always tell couples that one lesson is better than none,” explains Yvette. “If you’ve got a small budget, having one lesson together will give you the basics on how to dance with your partner, and should help you feel less nervous about it.

“The aim isn’t necessarily to give you a shiny routine that you need to learn – it’s about giving you the tools to use in your own way on the dancefloor to help you feel confident,” she adds.

How do I beat first dance nerves?

Getting in plenty of practise before the big day should help alleviate any stage fright along with selecting a dance that feels natural to you both.

“Think ahead about what makes you feel nervous and take some time to prepare,” advises Emma. “If you think you’ll feel more assured with a structured routine, then work with a teacher to build something that suits you and rehearse it until it feels natural.

“On the other hand, if you think learning choreography will add to your stress, simply get to know your music and have a few moves that you are comfortable with to give your dance some shape. A teacher can help with things such as how to lead, where to place your hands to make turns smoother and how to improve your balance and musicality.”

But the most important thing? Smile. Make eye contact with your partner and just have fun! Even if you make a mistake, no one else is going to notice unless it shows on your face. If you look tense, onlookers will feel tense on your behalf, but if you’re having a great time, they will too.

“This is where your song choice can really help too,” adds Yvette. “Choose a song that you know will make you smile and that you can sing along to, to help forgo those nerves. Remember, none of your guests are looking at your feet – they’re just looking at whether you’re having a nice time!”

Can I skip the first dance?

Of course, as with anything to do with your wedding, if you want to skip the formalities of a first dance then you absolutely can! Why not mark the opening of the reception with a celebratory alternative instead? Perhaps you’d like to give a welcome speech to those who have arrived for the evening, splurge on a champagne tower or skip straight to cutting the cake.  

Wedding First Dance Tutorials

Boost your confidence and add shape to your first dance by learning some basic moves at home with qualified ballroom instructor and 2018 Same-Sex Vice Ballroom World Champion Michael Litke, and dancing pros Lindsey and Chris.

This tutorial from dance pros Lindsey and Chris teaches you five simple steps that you can use to build a routine: 

Ready to put your best foot forward? You’ll need a pair of super-comfy flat wedding shoes (trust us, your feet will thank you for it!)