50 Funny Wedding Vows & Ideas to Guarantee Laughs

Your wedding vows are arguably the most important promises you and your partner will ever make to each other, but that doesn't mean they have to be serious. In fact, funny wedding vows often make for some of the most honest and heart-warming ceremonies of all.

You want your vows to reflect the nature of your relationship, your real relationship. Yes, there's a lot of romance and love in any good relationship, but there's also a lot of laughs and humour, making funny wedding vows the perfect kind to exchange with your partner.

Including funny vows in a wedding ceremony also helps to get your guests involved, there's nothing more emotive than a room full of laughter, especially when those giggles are coming from all of your favourite friends and family members. 

50 Funny Wedding Vows to Get Your Partner Giggling

To ensure your wedding vows have the perfect balance of humour and sentiment, take a look at these wedding vows for funny phrases and anecdotes you can include in your ceremony. 

1. "I promise I'll always be 100% faithful, and never a traitor."

2. “I promise to make you a bacon sandwich when you’re hungover." 

3. “I promise to never watch the next episode on Netflix without you, no matter how much I want to."

4. "I promise that even if I get other options, I will always want to couple up with you."

5. "I promise to love you in sickness and in health, and even when you refuse to watch another episode of Below Deck with me."

6. "I promise to never get tired of getting up with you at 6am on holidays to 'make the most of the trip'."

7. "I promise that if it ever comes to choosing between you and the dog, I'll let you down gently."

8. "I promise to continue to defend you every time my parents tell me you're weird."

9. "I promise to have your back even when you're wrong, which is kind of always."

10. "I promise to never go over budget ever again, I think I did enough damage with the wedding to last me a lifetime."

11. "I promise to never judge you, even when you wear [mention something they're wearing at the wedding]."

12. “I promise to take the bins out…occasionally."

13. “I promise not to hit you too hard when you’re snoring in the night."

14. “I promise to buy you your favourite chocolate when you’re sad, even if it takes two supermarket trips."

15. “I promise to always notice when you get your haircut."

17. “I promise to take as many Instagram-worthy pictures of you as you want in public, no matter how many people are standing around us."

18. “I promise to let you win the occasional argument, even when I’m right."

19. “I promise not to moan about visiting your parents at the weekend, again."

20. “I promise never to take my hanger out on you."

22. “I promise to agree that you really are the best driver on the road and always know exactly where you’re going, even when you don't."

23. “I promise not to steal the covers."

24. "I promise to open the bedroom window when you are hot, even if I am totally freezing."

25. "I promise to love you even as you scroll endlessly through Netflix without actually picking something to watch."

27. "I promise to always support your dreams, even the one about [insert far-fetched dream]."

28. "I promise to always let you try my food, even when I've told you to order your own."

29. "I promise to take your side when our children inevitably attempt to gang up on us."

30. "I promise to find a tactful way to tell our guests we prefer cash over homeware."

31. "I promise to pause the TV when you want to talk the entire way through."

33. "I promise to blame you when I flake on plans. Because obviously I totally want to go!"

34. "I promise to explain calmly that you’re not leaving enough stopping distance between our car and the one in front of it."

35. "I promise to wear this ring as a symbol of our love, and try really hard not to lose it at the gym."

36. "I promise to refill the toilet paper that you very likely will never refill. I mean how hard is it, really?"

37. "I promise to embrace all your weird habits, even when you eat peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon."

39. "I promise that when I say I do, I also mean the dishes, too."

40. "I promise to open jars for you and pretend that you loosened it up for me."

41. "I promise to trust you when you ignore the sat nav because you clearly know best."

42. "I promise to be a loving and faithful partner to you. And patient, incredibly patient."

43. "I promise to laugh at all your jokes, even when I'm the only one."

44. “I promise to always wash up when you cook the dinner."

45. “I promise to let you know when you’re making a slight error in fashion judgement."

47. “I promise to put up with your favourite TV shows if you put up with mine...and yes this does include Love Island.”

48. “I promise not to spend all our life savings during the January sales."

49. “I promise to always get rid of the spiders, even though I’m more scared than you."

50. “I promise to comfort you when your football team loses… again."

Want to keep the theme going throughout? If so, check out these funny wedding readings for your nearest and dearest to read out.