32 Signs You've Found The One

Whether you’re in the grips of a whirlwind romance, still getting to know your partner or in a long-term relationship and contemplating taking that exciting next step, you may find yourself thinking about how you know you’ve found the one.

A healthy, loving relationship should always be an addition to your life. It’s not always about feeling complete, as such, but your world should be a better place with your partner and your outlook on life often changes when you’re in love.

Whatever your personal take on love and marriage is, there’s always a moment when you reflect on your relationship and consider all the wonderful things that make your partner your special person.

Here at Hitched, we’d like to think we know a thing or two about love. So, with a little help from some dating and relationship experts, we’ve come up with a few tips and tricks to help you work out exactly how to know if you have found the one. 

“A soulmate is a person who you have a natural affinity with,” says dating coach and relationship expert Jo Barnett. “You feel like you have known them for all your life and they are a part of you.” If this feeling rings any bells for starters, read on for more signs you’ve found the one. If you find yourself swooning, smiling and nodding along as you read, you’ll know you’ve found your soulmate.

How Do You Know You’ve Found The One?

Jo shared her top three signs to help you know when you’ve found the one:

• The relationship flows and it is easy, it has been since you met.
• There is a mutual respect and admiration beyond attraction.
• You think similarly and can discuss things at great length, never getting bored.

For Lydia Hoey, match making expert and founder of the Match Making School,it's all about trusting your intuition and recognising a sense of consistency.  

"Trust your intuition, and ensure that you consistently feel warmth, security and stability," says Lydia. "While initial fireworks and intense emotions are often celebrated, what truly matters is the enduring feeling of safety and contentment."

Do You ‘Just Know’ When You’ve Found Your Soulmate?

Some might say ‘you just know’ when you’ve found the one, but that’s not always the case - it can be a slow burn. A lot of love is learning about another person, and just because you didn’t get that feeling from the moment you first locked eyes, it doesn’t mean it won’t come with time. 40% of Hitched users said it took time to realise they were with the one.*

Whether you felt an instant connection or you built up your love over time, you still need to spend time working on your relationship and helping it to grow - learning both yours and your partner’s love language can help with this.

32 Signs You’re With the One

How many of these signs can you tick off? 

1. They Lift Your Spirits

It doesn’t matter what kind of day you’re having, knowing you’re going to see your partner still makes you smile. When just the thought of being in their presence makes your spirits lift, that can be how you know you’ve found the one. 

2. You Count Down the Minutes

Whether you’re in the first flush of romance or you’re five years down the line, you find yourself eagerly counting down until you’re next in their company. It doesn't matter if it’s for a romantic dinner date or just to watch the next episode of Breaking Bad that evening with a glass of wine, if you're eagerly anticipating when you'll next spend time with your partner there's high chance they could be the one. 

3. You’re Not Scared to Dream With Them

You can talk about all your plans, dreams and hopes with them without worrying. When you’re open to sharing your future plans with somebody, and see them as a part of those plans, that’s a great sign that you’re with a keeper. 

4. You Want Similar Things

It’s a good sign if you want the same things in life; you’re much more likely to stay the course together if your wants and future plans align. You know you both want a house by the sea and a dog one day, and you’re working together towards that goal.

5. You Trust Them Completely

If you’re in a relationship where you feel the need to read each other’s messages or hate them spending time with people who aren’t you, you probably need to re-evaluate. When you’re with 'the one', you can trust them implicitly and they trust you too. It just makes sense. 

6. You Have Rituals You Like to Stick To

You won’t skip ahead on your Netflix series without them, nor would you go to their favourite coffee shop without them - or at least without bringing them a takeaway cup home! You value your traditions and rituals because they are important to both of you and help you to feel close to each other. 

7. You Feel Calm with Them

In the past, you might have felt a bit anxious with someone or not always known where you stood. Now you feel calm and secure and safe in your relationship. It’s wonderful a feeling and a sure-fire sign you may have found the one. 

8. You Don’t Argue (Much...)

You might not agree on everything, that's totally normal and healthy, but you respect each other enough to understand and accept your differences. The most important thing is that you are willing to compromise on things for the sake of your partnership. 

9. You Accept Their Flaws

They are never ever going to load the dishwasher the exact way you like it, or remember to hang up the bathmat - they’ll try, but no one is perfect. What matters is that you understand your partner will have flaws - as do you - and you accept them, instead of trying to change them or letting resentment build.

10. You Can Be Open With Each Other

You can voice your concerns and share what’s bothering you without it being a huge drama because you trust each other and you feel safe enough to be open about issues before they become a much bigger deal.

11. It’s Okay to Be Vulnerable

You might have issues from previous relationships, phobias or things that stress you out. But in this relationship, you can let your guard down and share these things without fear of judgement when you’re with the right person. 

12. You Do Things Just for Them

You spend time on little gestures just to show them how much you care and value them, like buying their favourite chocolate bar or sending them a cute text, because you want to show them you care.

It doesn't have to be flashy, expensive present, but you'll know you've found the one when you're excited to give them something personal you've picked out or you book cute activities and couples experiences to try together. 

13. You Can Rely on Them

You know that they know you. They can order a drink for you at a crowded bar or pick out something from the menu for you when you’re running late and you know that they will pick out something good for you.

14. It Becomes 'We’, Not 'I'

If someone asks you what you’re doing at the weekend, you find yourself naturally replying with ‘We are…’ instead of ‘I am…’. It just feels natural to talk about yourself as a unit, not a single entity. 

15. You Can Read Each Other

You know when they want to go home, they know when you are getting hangry; you’re so in tune you’ve learned to read each other’s signals and respond to them. You'll know you've found the one when you can share 'the look' at a party and they'll automatically know it's time to make your excuses and head home! 

16. You Know Exactly How to Lift Each Other Up

You know the right things to do or say to each other to cheer each other up when you’re feeling down, and you do it without thinking because their happiness is your priority.

17. You Know When You Need Space

Sometimes the only thing to do is to give each other space. Maybe they need time to decompress or you prefer to be alone to process news. You can tell when you need that time and are secure enough to wait it out. 

18. You Have Shared Hobbies

As well as having your own separate hobbies for a bit of 'me-time', there are things you love doing together. It might be your true crime obsession or maybe you both love hiking? Whatever it is, there’s something that the two of you do together that’s ‘your thing’. 

19. You Have Your Own Lives Too

You don’t have to do absolutely everything together though - it’s important to both of you that you have time to do your own stuff and it makes you both more rounded individuals as a result. 

20. The Little Things Make You Smile

You know when you meet someone new they’re going to tell the anecdote about their nickname or make the same joke about their job, and instead of rolling your eyes, you love it! It’s one of the things that makes them who they are and you live for seeing other people laugh at the thing you get to hear all the time.

21. Even Boring Stuff Is Enjoyable

It's Saturday afternoon and rather than heading out on the town, you’ve got to go to IKEA to get new dining chairs? Yes! A fun afternoon of exploring and shopping for the weirdest named products you can find. Nothing is dull when you get to do it with your soulmate. 

22. Everyone Loves Them

It’s not just you who loves them - your family and friends adore them too! You'll know if you've found the one, or at least it’s a hugely promising sign, when everyone in your life loves them almost as much as you do. Cue lots of fun double dates with all your besties. 

23. You Have a Secret Language

It’s not a full on language, but you have your codewords and nicknames for things that only you two understand. Sometimes you can’t even remember why you use the words you do, but it’s stuck and it’s never going to change, for better of for worse...

24. You’ve Become Cheesy

You used to scoff at people who changed their phone background to a picture of their partner. Now, you’ve gone even further and your WhatsApp chat background is a picture of them, you've bought matching pyjamas for Christmas and you even find those soppy Hallmark cards kind of cute. It’s not so bad being a little bit cheesy with the one you love.

25. Some Stuff Is Just For You

Like your cheesy gestures or private language, some things are just for the two of you to share. You feel secure and close enough that you don’t need to publish every aspect of your life online or overshare in the group chat - it’s actually quite nice to hold some stuff back for just the two of you. 

26. You Make the Effort - But It Doesn't Feel Like Effort

You plan date nights or splash out on the odd couple's sex toy to spice things up because it’s important to you to put the effort in and work at your relationship. You get out what you put in, after all!

27. Sometimes There Are Sacrifices

Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to suit your partner, but that’s okay because you know it’s give and take. Sometimes you are making the sacrifice, sometimes they are; it all evens out in the end. This is known as a ‘costly commitment signal’ - and it does cost you, in time, money or emotions - but it is a sign of your commitment to your partner and your relationship. 

28. Their Feedback Is Important

You value their opinions and thoughts on the decisions you need to make. Whether it’s a weekend plan or your next career move, you want to hear what they have to say because you respect them and they want what’s best for you. 

29. It Feels Easy

It’s not always perfect, but it never feels like hard work. One of the key signs you’ve found your soulmate is that most of the time, it feels easy and effortless to be with them.

30. You Can’t Believe Your Luck

Every day you think ‘Wow, how did I get so lucky?’ and you know they feel the same. Out of all the millions and millions of people in the world, you found someone whose weirdness perfectly aligns with yours. 

31. You Feel Safe Around Them 

While excitement and fireworks are important, the lasting feeling is a sense of safety and stability when you're around your partner. You know you've found the one when your insecurities and fears lessen when you're around your partner.

32. You Know Each Others Love Language

You might be all about physical touch, while your partner may value acts of service above everything else, it doesn't necessarily matter what your love languages are or if they're different, what's most important is that you honour and respect how each other show and receive love. 

How do You Know if Someone is The One? 

So, we've outlined the signs to look out for on a relationship to know you've found 'the one' but how do you really know if the person you're spending all this time with has the potential actually be your soulmate? There are some indicators and things to look out for when considering how your partner makes you feel. 

For match making expert Lydia Hoey, it's important to consider gut feelings and acknowledge any worries or red flags when trying to tell if you've found the one. 

"If something feels even slightly off it's important to acknowledge it," Lydia explains. "While every relationship has its challenges, the overall emotional foundation should feel solid."

It's also not just about those grand romantic gestures or 'firework' moments, to truly know when you've found the one it's also important to consider those quieter moments and more subtle signs of affection and contentment. 

"From a young age we are conditioned to seek out grand displays of love, however, the true markers of a lasting partnership are often the quiet, steady feelings of security and warmth." 

How to Maintain a Successful Relationship

Once you are safe in the knowledge that you have found your soulmate, you'll want to do everything you can to ensure your relationship remains a sacred, positive aspect of your life. Of course, there will be ups and downs - every relationship has its struggles and challenges - but another crystal clear sign that you've found the one is that you're both willing to put in the work to help your relationship continue to flourish. 

Lydia suggests couples should focus on three key areas:

• Communication. Establish a space where both partners can express their needs and desires, both as individuals and as a couple. This will help ensure mutual happiness and growth within the relationship.
• Conflict Resolution. Learn how to navigate and resolve conflicts in a way that strengthens your relationship. The ability to support each other through tough times is crucial for long-term success. 
• Understanding Love Languages. Recognise and honour each others love languages, even if they differ. This may require extra effort to make sure both partners feel loved and appreciated in the ways that matter most to them. 

Still after more tips for relationship success? Make sure you read our relationship advice from dating experts and real couples, because you can never have too much good advice!

*A survey of 1,070 Hitched Instagram followers found that 40% said it took time to find the one, whereas 60% said they knew straight away