No Children at Wedding Wording: How to Politely Say 'No Kids'

When it comes to relaying the news that children won’t be invited to your wedding, careful wording is key. While many parents will understand and welcome the break from their little ones, others can make you feel like a cross between the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Cruella de Vil – seemingly incapable of understanding just why, exactly, you don’t want their children present.

That’s where our No Children at Wedding wording tips come in.

From cost reasons to venue constraints, to wanting their friends and family to be able to truly relax, there are many reasons why couples will choose to keep their wedding a child-free zone.

Nobody wants to see (expensive) meals go cold as parents spoon the contents of an Ella’s Kitchen pouch into their baby’s mouth, or to have the emotional moment you exchange vows shattered by the screams of a tantrumming toddler.

For some couples, there is simply a time and a place for children at events – and for them, a wedding is neither.

Whatever your reason for not including children in your wedding day, the most important thing is to communicate that clearly and early on. While it can be tempting to relay the message by simply addressing your wedding invites to just the parents, we’d caution against this. By not adding the children’s names, you only run the risk of some parents assuming their kids are also invited as standard.

The key is to make your adults-only policy clear from the off – not least because it’s only fair to give parents plenty of notice to make childcare arrangements well in advance.

“We have a standard party line that we advise our clients to use on all their invitations if they wish to plan a child-free wedding that goes as follows,” says leading luxury wedding planner Mark Niemierko, who has planned weddings for the likes of James Corden and his wife Julia, and Rochelle and Marvin Humes.

“‘As our wedding will run late into the evening, we’d prefer to keep our big day for adults only.’”

But what about when parents push back – and you find yourself subject to complaints and disapproval?

“Couples can start to doubt themselves when tackling the pressure of planning a wedding, but it’s important to not become too much of a people pleaser, especially when deciding whether or not to invite children,” says Mark.

“I always remind my couples that they’re allowed to be clear about what they want for their big day and that includes the guest list!”

How to Say No to Children at Wedding: Card Invitation Wording & More

To keep this part of your wedding planning as stress-free as possible, ahead we have listed a number of ways to let guests know that your wedding will be child free. We’ve also covered different scenarios, including only having children attending parts of the day, only inviting close family members’ children, and tips on how to keep children entertained if you’re still on the fence.

Whatever your situation, the No Children at Wedding wording can be awkward – so we’re here to help.

• How to Say No Kids at Wedding: Things to Know
• No Children at Wedding Wording Examples
• No Children at Wedding Invite Wording: What Not to Say
• How to Say No Kids After the Invites Have Been Sent
• On The Fence? Fun Ways to Entertain Kids at Weddings

How to Say No Kids At Wedding: Things to Know  

• Be consistent. The news will go down better if the same rule applies to everyone. You can make clear exceptions for children of your immediate family and/or your wedding party, as well as for flower girls and page boys, as long as you let guests know this is the case.
• Don’t be upset if parents can’t attend. You are perfectly justified in having a child-free wedding; they are perfectly justified in not attending if it’s inconvenient or they don’t want to be away from their children.
• Don’t allow anyone to make you feel guilty about your adults-only policy.
• Accept that some parents may need to leave early.
• It can be a lovely gesture to pay for a professional creche, but it’s not obligatory.
• If you are especially close to a friend or family member’s children but are unable to invite them, it’s a nice idea to include a personal note along with the parents’ invitation to reiterate that you’re sorry to not include them.
• If you’re planning a destination wedding, remember that it will be more difficult for parents to travel abroad without their children or to find childcare in another country.

No Children at Wedding Wording Examples

Whether you’re having no kids at your wedding at all, or you’re inviting a select few, these no children at wedding wording options will help you to make it clear to your guests.

What to Say When... Your Venue Doesn’t Allow Children

• 'We are very sorry, but due to restrictions at our venue, we cannot accommodate children.'
• 'Due to safety reasons at our venue, we are unable to extend this invitation to children.'
• 'Due to the nature of our venue, we are unable to invite under-18s to our wedding.'
• 'Our venue has a strict no-under-18s policy, so we are unable to welcome to children to the wedding.'

What to Say When... You Are Allowing Certain Children

• 'Unfortunately, as much as we’d love to invite all of our friends’ children, we can only accommodate a few close family children. We hope that you will understand this decision and that you will still be able to join us on our special day.'
• 'In order to meet guest number restrictions, we are only able to extend our invitation to the children of close family and/or our wedding party.'
• 'Due to space constraints, we are only able to invite the children of immediate family to our wedding.'
• 'We are unable to accommodate children beyond our page boys and flower girls.'
• 'We are only able to accommodate the children of the wedding party.'

What to Say When... You Want to Keep It Simple

• 'We are sorry that we are unable to accommodate children at our wedding.'
• 'We would like our special day to be an adult-only occasion.'  
• 'Please be aware that this will be an adults-only wedding.'
• 'We are unable to invite children to our wedding. We hope that the advance notice means you are still able to attend.'

What to Say When... You're Inviting Children to Part of the Wedding

• 'We are delighted to welcome children to the ceremony and early reception. However, from Xpm onwards, the wedding will be adults only.' Optional extra: 'We will be providing a creche, please see our wedding website for further details.'
• 'We respectfully request that under-18s do not attend the reception.'
• 'Children outside the wedding party are not invited for the ceremony but are welcome for the reception from Xpm.'
• 'We would like our special day to be an adult-only occasion, however we would like to open the invite up to your children at the evening reception at Xpm.' 
• 'Following the ceremony and drinks reception, please join us for an adults-only reception at Xpm.'

What to Say When... You're Keeping Costs Down

• 'As much as we would like to invite all the children of our loved ones, we will only be able to welcome over-18s at our wedding due to budget constraints.'
• 'While we adore your children, our budget will only allow us to accommodate adult guests at our wedding.'
• 'We regret that due to cost restrictions, we are only able to invite over-18s to our wedding.' 

What to Say When... You're Allowing Babies

• 'Please note that this is an adult-only wedding. However, you are welcome to bring infants under 12 months.'
• 'Adults only (exception for infants under six months).'

No Children at Wedding Invite Wording: What Not to Say

• "We thought you'd appreciate a night off!"

Even if the parents would like a night off, this comes across as a bit patronising – and sounds rather flippant in the face of how difficult it can be to find childcare, particularly overnight.

• "To give you the opportunity to really let your hair down, we've decided not to invite children."

Again, this has a rather patronising tone – and can also imply that you think people can't have fun if children are present (and while you're allowed to think that, saying it to a parent isn't all that polite).

• "In order to allow all guests, including parents, to have a good time, we have chosen for our wedding day to be an adult-only occasion."

Any wording that implies parents can't have a good time with children present is unlikely to go down well.

How to Say ‘No Kids’ After the Invites Have Been Sent

While it’s always best to be as upfront as early as possible, so there can be no confusion as to whether or not children are invited, it may be that you’ve already printed or sent out your invitations and didn’t specify that your wedding was a child-free zone.

In this case, it may be worth adding a note of clarification to your wedding website, if you have one – it’s an easy way to keep guests informed on the finer details of your day.

If you’ve printed your invitations but not sent them, you might want to consider adding an insert with one of the wording choices above.

If you receive any RSVPs that include your guests’ children’s names, definitely follow up with a phone call explaining the situation. 

On The Fence? Fun Ways to Entertain Kids at Weddings

As well as going down the usual route of creches and table games, if you’re considering having a small number of children at your wedding, there are ways to include them in the day that will also keep them thoroughly entertained.

“In the past, we’ve come up with some brilliant ways for keeping kids entertained at weddings,” recalls Mark. “Once, we dressed a room in the venue as a 'kids members club', where you couldn’t enter if you were older than the oldest child in attendance. The only adults allowed in were the family nanny and the wedding planner. We gave each child a VIP lanyard, and they loved it! 

“One vital thing to do is to make them feel important. A great wedding planner will give children jobs to do, like test if the dance floor is bouncy enough or if the photo booth is working properly. It makes them feel involved and keeps them out of trouble. 

“I once had a bride whose young daughter told me that she loved Oreo milkshakes, so to keep her content throughout the day I handed her a ‘ring for service’ bell and told one of the waiters to bring her a milkshake every time she rang it! It was a funny, inexpensive way to keep her happy. 

“We also love doing treasure hunts, especially at National Trust wedding venues. You can make them fun and educational. Tipis also make great play areas," he adds.

How Might Children Change a Wedding?