19 Sweet Ways to Include Your Dad in Your Wedding

In most cultures and religions, your dad or father figure will have a significant role to play on your wedding day – walking you down the aisle, giving a wedding speech and quite possibly hosting the whole shebang are a few ways in which dads are traditionally involved in marriage proceedings.

Modern weddings, however, increasingly veer from the customary script, with mothers walking brides down the aisle, dads getting hands on with planning and couples opting for highly personalised celebrations.

Including your dad in your wedding needn’t be limited to the conventional activities – consider the following ideas to make your dad and/or stepdad feel loved, honoured and involved from the first cell of the wedding planning spreadsheet to the honeymoon goodbyes.

1. Play to His Strengths When Wedding Planning

Does your dad or stepdad have a hobby or talent that would translate well to wedding planning? It’s often assumed that the mother of the bride will head up the pre-wedding to-do list, but involving your dad from the get-go will spread the wedding planning load evenly while engaging your dad in a way that he’ll enjoy.

You could ask your dad to select and organise booze on the day if he’s a sommelier in the making, ask him along to the wedding meal tasting if he’s a keen cook (or just an enthusiastic eater) or link him up with your florist to plan wedding flowers if he’s partial to a bit of gardening. You know your dad best and the likelihood is that there are myriad ways that he would appreciate being involved in the planning, even if it is predominantly spreadsheet based.

2. Announce Your Engagement in the Local Paper

3. Include Him in Your Order of Service

If your dad or stepdad is contributing financially to the wedding it’s traditional to include him on your wedding invitation, but consider adding his name to your order of service too, even if he’s not giving a reading or formally involved in the ceremony. You could add a personal thank you at the end of the programme, include a memorable quote or joke that relates to him or reference him in the selection of songs or choice of words within your wedding ceremony.

READ MORE: 35 Emotional Father of the Bride Photos

4. Devote Your ‘Something Old’ to Him

Very often brides look to the female line of the family to fulfil the ‘something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue’ element of a wedding day, but consider looking to your dad or stepdad too.

You could sew a part of a favourite handkerchief into your wedding dress or weave cufflinks or a tie pin into your bridal bouquet. This is also a lovely way to pay tribute to your dad or stepdad if he’s passed away – you can walk down the aisle with him by including his photo in a locket, wearing his wedding ring around your neck or tying it to the ribbon of your bouquet, embroidering his name or a message to him in your old or new veil or including another personal item into your outfit on the day. No one need see it – as long as you know that he’s there, that’s enough.

5. Ask Him to Speak at Your Wedding Ceremony

There’s no reason for speeches to be limited to the wedding reception – if your dad has a meaningful poem or passage in mind, include it within your marriage ceremony or ask him to read something that reflects your relationship with him as a couple. This is also a touching way to include both your dad and a stepdad or other father figure in your wedding – your stepdad could do a reading at your wedding ceremony while your dad gives a speech at the reception or vice versa.

If you want to elevate his involvement even further, you could ask him to act as a wedding celebrant or to officiate the service. He’ll have to have a love of public speaking and weddings in general for this one as there are various levels of training involved, but it would certainly make for an unforgettable wedding ceremony.

6. Designate Him as Ring Bearer

Bestowing your wedding rings isn’t the single responsibility of the best man/dog. Ask your dad or stepdad to step in with the rings to give him a significant role in the ceremony. This is also ideal if you’d love to include him in proceedings but he isn’t one for public speaking.

7. Ask Him to Be a Groomsman / Bridesman

In a similar vein, you or your partner could include your dad and/or stepdad in your wedding party in an unexpected but important way by asking him to get ready for the day with either of you, usher guests to their seats, hand out programmes and generally make sure that the ceremony and reception go to plan. This is a wonderful way to include multiple father figures in the wedding day too, giving everyone within a blended family a key role.

READ MORE: How Should I Seat Divorced Parents At My Wedding?

8. Invite Him to Be Your MC

Whether he regularly chairs board meetings, organises family get togethers or likes to play ringleader in social situations, asking your dad or stepdad to make announcements to guests and welcome you to the reception as newlyweds will give him a prominent role on the mic while providing peace of mind that your guests are where they’re supposed to be. Nobody messes with the father or stepfather of the bride.

9. Design a Bespoke Buttonhole

Work with your florist to conjure up a unique buttonhole that marks him out as a wedding party VIP. It’s the father’s equivalent of a big hat and he’ll wear it proudly.

10. Help Him Pick a Suit

Whether you’ve got a colour scheme in mind, he’s got his eye on a fresh tux or he simply needs a few accessories to complete his outfit for the day, arrange a shopping trip for both of you, ideally combined with a long lunch or night at the pub. You can guarantee that he’ll appreciate the bonding time, even if you don’t find the perfect tie.

11. Name a Drink or Dish in His Honour

Whether it’s a cocktail made with his favourite spirits, a signature dish of his reinterpreted for the wedding breakfast or a canapé that brings back fond holiday memories (mini fish and chips anyone?), he’ll relish the opportunity to tuck into something so personal.

12. Write Him a Letter

Many couples write notes to one another to be delivered on their wedding morning, so consider penning a heartfelt letter to your dad too. Thank him for being there for you, for his contribution to the wedding and emphasise how much you love him. Tuck it into his suit pocket, have a bridesmaid deliver it before he walks you down the aisle or leave it at his place at the dinner table.

13. Let Him Be Your Rock the Day Before

No matter how well planned you think that your wedding is, chances are that something will go awry. This is where the calm composure and organisational skills of many a dad come into their own. My own dad attached 100+ fiddly labels to wedding favours, rigged up a sound system and co-ordinated a night before wedding rehearsal over the course of about an hour with seamless panache. Just ask and chances are he’ll leap at the chance to help.

READ MORE: 15 Tasks Every Bride Should Do The Week of Their Wedding

14. Document the ‘First Look’

Most photographers and videographers will include the ‘first time he sees the bride’ shot in their plan for the day, but underline that capturing the moment that your dad claps eyes on you as a bride is important to both of you. Even/ especially if there’s happy crying on both sides.

15. Have a Moment Alone Before the Ceremony

Whether you’re travelling together to the venue, having a coffee before you get ready or just squeezing his hand before you walk down the aisle to meet your partner, prioritise some father-daughter time before everything kicks off. It’ll make him feel special and likely work wonders to settle your nerves. Don’t forget to tell him how handsome he looks.

16. Make a Toast to Him in a Speech

If you’re giving a speech, include an anecdote about your dad or stepdad (or both) and be sure to thank him for all of his love over the years and help with preparations for your wedding day. Maybe put a hanky at his place setting in preparation. Speaking of which…

17. Give Him a Gift

Mothers of the bride and groom typically receive a bunch of flowers at the wedding reception but consider giving your dad a token of both of your appreciation too. It needn’t be a grand gesture – you can embroider a handkerchief or pocket square, engrave a tie clip, monogram cufflinks or simply give him something small that speaks to your relationship.

READ MORE: The Most Thoughtful Wedding Gifts for Parents

18. Play ‘His Song’

Sneak a surprise track into your wedding setlist to get him on the dance floor. It could be a song that reminds you of him and your childhood or the first dance song at his own wedding – if there’s a tune that moves him (literally), ask your band or DJ to include it as a priority. You could even remove the surprise element and choreograph a dance together to debut to guests if you’re both feeling brave and well coordinated.

19. Do What Feels Right

Never feel pressured to bow to convention or adhere to the wishes of others – include your dad in your wedding day in a way that reflects your relationship. It could be that a stepfather is the best person to walk you down the aisle and deliver a speech. It might be that your dad is no longer with you but you save him a chair at the ceremony and reception. You could include a tribute to him on a memory table or dedicate wedding favours or gift donations to a particular charity in his honour. You could also decide that acknowledging or inviting your dad is too painful, and that’s ok too.

How you include your family in your wedding day is an entirely personal decision so chat through your plans with your partner, support one another and do things your way.