13 Surprising Things No One Tells You About Changing Your Name
Whether you know you'll change your name or you're still deciding, here are a few things you *need* to know before you start the process
Though our guide to changing your name after marriage is pretty comprehensive, there are some things no one tells you about changing your name - and we're here to solve that! Going through the name change process is worth every bit of work required if you want to change your name, and it's a super exciting time for so many people - whether you're taking someone you love's name, you're double-barrelling, or you're creating a whole new name.
We're here to keep you fully informed on everything you need to know about changing your name, the fact that yes, your signature will feel weird and why it's important to ignore wedding traditions and throw out the rule book.
13 Things No One Tells You About Changing Your Name
As you know, here at Hitched we believe there are no 'have tos' in wedding planning, and that applies to changing your name too. If you do choose to do it, in any way, it's one of the more major post-wedding tasks on the list, so here's what you need to know before you get started...
1. There Are No Rules
People love to run with the narrative that there are all of these rules to do with wedding planning and changing your name. If you've read any of our other wedding planning articles, you'll know that here at Hitched, we don't believe in rules - and that applies to changing your name, too.
The tradition is that a wife takes her husband's name after the marriage has been officiated. But we know that not all wives want to take their partner's names, just like we know that not all couples are made up of a wife and a husband. It's time to throw the rulebook out and do things your way.
"Possibly one of the most symbolic signs of equality, the double-barrel has obvious appeal. One in five of our couples at NameSwitch opt for a double barrel. Names can be put side by side in whichever order works best, with or without a hyphen.
"We are also seeing a rising trend in couples opting to create a brand new surname by fusing two names together (this is known as meshing), or opting to adopt a name that has a significant meaning to the couple - it might be to honour a grandparent or step parent that had a great presence in their upbringing for example, though creating a brand new name does need to be done by deed poll."
So, there you have it, there literally are no rules when it comes to changing your name after marriage, so don't let anyone tell you any different. What's more, if you feel like changing your name is a wedding tradition to skip, then you do that.
2. Men Change Their Name Too
On the topic of abolishing the rules and traditions, for anyone who needs to hear it, men can change their name too. And don't just take our word for it - the team at NameSwitch have seen a real uptake when it comes to men changing their name, with three times more guys seeking their name change services in the last two years.
Cécile explains, "UK name-changing customs are evolving with more men opting to switch names after they say I do. We’ve seen a notable rise in the ratio of men changing names in the last 24 months - most commonly in the form of a double barrel (which has tripled in the last 2 years) and also men taking on their partners surname altogether or boldly leaping to create a brand new team name and chapter with their other half."
Whether it's a guy taking his wife's family name, or someone in a LGBTQ+ relationship, whatever the situation, we're all for men changing their name.
3. It's Not Always The Right Thing to Do
Again, throw the rulebook out. Some names are too good to lose, and some are too terrible to take (sorry, but it's true!) - so don't feel like you have to change your name just because tradition says it's the done thing. You should only change your name if you feel like it's the right thing for you, and if it doesn't feel right, don't do it.
Cécile says, "Some surnames are there for the keeping - they may have a real significance or heritage or you may be the last in a family line. Or they may just sound simply amazing - would you give up Christmas? Or Morpurgo? Or Shakespeare? The great thing is that there is no legal requirement to change names - it's all about personal choice.
"Many choose to stick or combine in the form of a double barrel or keep a maiden name professionally and switch in their personal lives. There are some names that would traverse generations of teasing or mockery - a recent customer explained that she would not be taking on her new German husband's family name as becoming Mrs Fuchs didn’t hold much appeal, and Mrs Dumbbell didn’t either."
4. There's No Rush
Making the decision to change your name is much easier for some than others. Some people are certain they want to change their name, and therefore can start pretty much straight away. But hear us when we say you don't need to rush into it. You can change your name at any time, there aren't any rules that say you must change your name within a certain time period.
If you want to change your name immediately after marriage, go for it. But if you want to wait a month, a year or longer before deciding, that's also okay.
5. You Can Choose When To Use It
Just because you or your partner decide to change your name legally, doesn't mean you have to go by your new name in every aspect of your life. Many newlyweds decide to take their partner's name, or change both names to be the same as each other's in a legal sense, but at work and socially, they use their family name.
Whether you've built a brand based on your family name or just don't want to use your new name publicly, there is absolutely no reason why your name needs to change at work, on social media and with friends.
We actually have a guide on how to keep your family name professionally.
6. You Might Struggle With Your Identity
Changing your name is a bigger deal for some people than it is for others. But even those who are totally cool about changing their name may find that adjusting feels a bit strange. Your name has a lot to do with your identity and very much defines who you are.
Changing it is really exciting and marks the start of a new chapter, but if you find yourself feeling a little lost, or meh about the whole thing, just know that is completely normal.
7. Your Family Might Not Like It
We know how much families love to get involved and give their opinion, and most of the time we love them for it. Whilst no one else's opinion matters as much as yours and your partner's, it's understandable for some family members to have reservations about you changing your name.
It may be that you are an only child and your family feel like your name change marks the end of the family name, or that your surname holds particular significance for some family members. You absolutely don't need to change your plans to suit your family, but you could compromise or at least explain to them why it's important for you to do this.
8. It's a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Couples who are super excited for the name change may find themselves feeling a little impatient. There's a lot of admin involved in changing names and it takes time to get things over the line. NameSwitch say that, on average, they have to notify 24 companies and government bodies for people changing their names in their mid thirties, and more than 30 for people in their forties.
Cécile adds, "Name changing can feel like a post wedmin hangover. Many find the stop-start research, letter writing and form filling tedious and time consuming, particularly for those with busy lives and careers. Each government body and company have their own unique processes and policies and it’s not always easy to navigate through the convoluted name-changing maze.
"Those who only have one original copy of their marriage certificate/deed poll will find it more drawn out as they can’t send off multiple name-change requests in parallel. In terms of who you have to notify, there are the obvious ones like drivers licence, passport, HMRC, NHS, banks and utilities… then the list gets longer when you count in those that are not part of our day to day lives.
"Think electoral register, council tax, land registry, mortgage providers, student loans, pensions, savings, investment, insurance, professional bodies - it quickly mounts up! We’ve helped lots of ’Tina the Inbetweener' couples who started with great enthusiasm and many months or even years down the line just couldn’t face tackling the long list, but that's what we're there for!"
9. You Won't Recognise Your Name
"Mrs Smith? Mrs Smith? MRS SMITH!?" That'll be you at the doctors, seconds away from missing your appointment because you simply did not recognise your own name. Changing your name and recognising your new name will take some adjusting.
It's just like when you were at school, and would spend the whole of January writing last year's date at the top of the page before remembering that you're in a new year. You'll probably say your name wrong a few times, too - totally normal.
10. Your Signature Will Feel Weird
Just like writing your name down, you may have to change your signature. This will feel unnatural at first, but it's amazing how good us humans are at adjusting to new things. Signatures are also rarely used, so it won't be too much of a big deal.
What is fun is that you get to create a brand new signature. Anyone else remember being a teenager and practising your signature on the back of all your school books and feeling really cool about it? You basically get to do that all over again. Fun, no?
11. Some of Your Things May Become Redundant
Personalisation is a big trend when it comes to gifting, and has been for a few years now. Most people have personalised things - from phone cases and hats, to bags and coffee cups, if you don't own something with your initials on it, what are you doing with your life?
Though technically these things won't be accurate anymore, there's no need to throw them away. If anything, they can act as a memento of your old name.
12. Not Everywhere Honours a Name Change
Interestingly, not all countries honour and accept name changes. British citizens who have dual nationality with some countries may have a hard time having name change applications accepted. For example, in the Italian legal system, name changes are highly unusual and only permitted in exceptional cases based on certain criterias.
Cécile explains further, "Name changes are customary in most countries around the world but not all - in countries like Italy, Germany and Japan, it is not common place to change name upon marriage. Whilst not impossible, special requests and drawn out processes need to be followed if you want to change your name in your native country and on your passport.
"Those with non UK or dual nationality should refer to their local consulate before embarking on a name change. Those opting to make a change via deed poll are also strongly advised to check with their consulate as not all countries will recognise a change of name request via deed poll - for example,this is the case in South Africa and Germany."
13. There Are Services For It
You don't have to do this yourself. There are actually services out there that will do all of the name change admin for you. NameSwitch offers name-changing services and, genuinely, it's worth it. Why spend hours doing admin and filling out paperwork when you don't have to?
Proving that it's for some, and not for others, here's a list of celebrities who changed their name after marriage, and those who didn't!
