The Zero-Stress Guide to Planning a Hen Do
Are you in charge of planning a hen do? Never fear - our editor shares her top tips for planning the ultimate hen party along with her expert advice
We have included third party products to help you navigate and enjoy life’s biggest moments. Purchases made through links on this page may earn us a commission.
You’d think after over a decade in the wedding industry, the question of 'how do you plan a hen party' would be old news by now - but when it comes to planning a hen party, there’s so much to consider!
You want to plan the perfect hen do for your bestie, and with so many incredible hen party houses across the UK, it can be hard to know where to start.
That's why we spoke to the Editor of Hitched, Zoe Burke, who is not only a wedding expert, but a seasoned pro at planning a fabulous hen do. From deciding a guest list to planning the itinerary, we asked her the most important questions to consider when arranging a hen party.
Before we dive into the nitty gritty details, let's just say it: planning a hen do is just as stressful - if not more stressful - as planning a wedding. Not only do you have to plan a spectacular celebration that the nearlywed will love, but it also has to remain in budget and a secret!
Sounds like a pretty daunting task, right? Well, fortunately Zoe is here to help you through it. So, if you’re planning the hen do, deep breaths, you’ve got this!
- How to Plan a Hen Party in 13 Steps
- How to Plan a Hen Do: Expert Advice
- Planning a Hen Do: Checklist Essentials
How to Plan a Hen Party in 13 Steps
Before we dive into Zoe's expert advice, we've put together 10 simple steps to help you get started on your hen planning journey. So, for those of you at the very beginning of the hen party journey, this 13-step planning a hen do checklist should make everything a lot easier!
From agreeing a budget to choosing a theme, this guide covers everything you need to know about how to plan a good hen do.
1. Speak to Your Friend
Whoever you’re throwing this pre-wedding celebration for - be it the bride or someone else - make sure you speak to them first. Find out if they’re happy for the celebrations to be a surprise.
Traditionally the hen do is a surprise, but if they suffer from anxiety, or just plain hate surprises, they might want to know what’s going on.
If they are happy with a surprise, it’s always a good idea to get a list of anything that’s a ‘hard no’ - things they definitely do not want. This might be penis paraphernalia, strippers, zip-lining, whatever. We all have our hard nos, and they must be respected.
Ask the following questions:
- Do you want to go abroad?
If your bride-to-be is dreaming of a long weekend in Marbs, understanding how to plan a hen do abroad is key. An overnighter in Margate might not cut it, so see what her dream hen would be so you have an idea where to aim.
- What do you think the rough budget would be?
She’s going to know who she will invite, so she should have a good idea of what is affordable for her friendship group, based on previous hens and weekends away.
- What would you absolutely hate?
This is your hard no list - remember, the hen party is about celebrating your friend, not torturing her, so don’t do anything from the hard no list.
- How long do you want to be away for?
Does she just want one night away, or a long weekend? The amount of time you plan to be away will impact how much it costs and how many people will attend, so bear that in mind when you’re planning the hen party.
- Do you just want one celebration or two?
Lots of hens don’t want their mum or mother-in-law on their hen do, but don’t want them to miss out. If that’s the case, explore whether you should plan one hen do for friends, and another for family.
Just bear in mind mounting costs if you do this!
- What’s most important to you?
Figure out what her priorities are - is it having all her friends together in a huge, local celebration? Or perhaps it’s a select group doing something more high end. Once you know what matters most, it’ll be much easier to plan the hen party. Maybe she wants to party with her partner? In that case, check out our guide to planning a sten do!
- When do you want the hen do to be?
If she’s having a winter wedding, but wants to go to Brighton for the hen, you might be better off doing it a couple of months before to get the best weather. Is she tied to anything like school holidays?
Usually, about six weeks before the wedding is the perfect time to have a hen do, because it gives everyone plenty of time to recover (and any bruises from tipsy stumbles enough time to fade!) but the wedding is still close enough that the excitement is palpable!
2. Get the Guest List
The easiest way to get the guest list in my experience is to get the bride to make a WhatsApp group that has everyone she’d like to invite in it, then she can leave the group and make you the admin.
Then you don’t have to spend 20 minutes copying phone numbers into WhatsApp and adding them all to your group, then re-adding them because they left as they didn’t know you and thought it was a spam group.
You’ve got the guest list, the bride can be confident you’ve got everyone she wants in there, and you haven’t had to do a load of faffing around. Easy.
It's also smart to have two hen do groups. One for those doing the bulk of the organising, and another for the wider group. The whole gang doesn’t need to see you and the bridesmaid she knows from uni arguing over which hen party T-shirts are the best value. Leave a little mystery…
3. Decide on the Date
When it comes to planning a hen do, you don't want to give people too much choice.
You might want to seem accommodating, but now is not the time. Discuss with the bride 2-3 possible dates that she can do (that’s the most important bit - make sure she can actually attend). Then put them to the group with a trusty old Doodle Poll.
This approach will save you SO much stress. If you ask people when they’re free, you’ll get 15 different people’s life stories and no one has time for that. Give a small selection of dates, show the results to the bride and let her have the final say. Done.
4. Talk Budgets
Explain to the group what you have in mind, and look up the rough cost for that based on the dates that have been chosen. If everyone says, ‘no, I can’t do that’, then it’s back to the drawing board, I’m afraid.
But if all or most are keen, then you can proceed on with your hen do planning. And don't be deterred by any budget cuts - we've got plenty of tips and tricks on how to plan a cheap hen do that feel totally special.
When I was at this stage, about two thirds of the large group was keen to proceed, so we went ahead with it. I planned a second, more affordable event in my sister’s hometown so those who didn’t want to spend that much could still join in the fun.
5. Start Booking!
This is the scary bit. Now it’s real, and it’s on you! What you need to book depends on who is going, where you’re going and how long for. Find the accommodation, check they’re okay with hen party groups and figure out the payment plan.
It's wise to double check everyone in the group is okay with the sums before you book, even if you’ve already agreed on a budget. It’s courteous to make sure everyone is okay with when and how they need to pay before asking them to give you money.
If people in your group need to book trains or planes or any other kind of transportation, so let them do that themselves.
Planning a hen do is stressful enough without trying to book 12 flights to Ibiza with all the different add-ons and things you need for Ryanair these days.
Also - if you're booking for the bride and going abroad, TRIPLE check her passport will be in date.
When it came to sorting the travel, it's smart to have everyone in the group ‘buddy up’ and book flights in their own small groups - that way they could share luggage if needed, know they’d have someone to sit with and at least one other person to travel with when they arrived. But they are all adults so don’t get sucked into thinking you need to do too much hand-holding…
If you need designated drivers for your trip, establish who is doing it ahead of time and figure out the fuel costs. You don’t want to be scrambling around organising those details on the week of the hen party.
Don’t miss our hen party city guides:
- London hen party ideas
- Devon hen party ideas
- Liverpool hen party ideas
- Newcastle hen party ideas
- Birmingham hen party ideas
- Bath hen party ideas
- Edinburgh hen party ideas
- Brighton hen party ideas
- Ibiza hen party ideas
6. Plan the Activities
It’s not a hen do without some forced fun, right? So it’s time to plan and book the activities and decide if you're having a hen party theme!
Two tips here - don’t fall into the trap of thinking that every hour needs to be accounted for, like some kind of awful team building event.
Remember that this group of adults have all paid to be here, and they may have stuff they’d like to do too, or just some time to decompress, so allow for free time. It removes pressure from you, and guarantees everyone has some time to do some stuff they’d like to do.
The second tip is to again check everyone is okay with the cost and the payment plan for the activity. Don’t just book something and ask for money as people will start to low-key hate you.
One activity a day is usually wise to help to keep costs down. If you're planning a weekend celebration, do something like a big dinner and games on day one, a fun activity on day two that leads into a night out, then a hangover/goodbye brunch on day three.
But remember, you know your pals and what they like best so this is just my own personal advice!
7. Share the Itinerary
Lots of people like to know what’s going on - especially if they’ve spent money on it. So make sure you tell people what the plan is.
It can be very top-line, but know that the group will definitely appreciate being in the loop (if they don’t want to know, they’ll have already muted the chat).
Ahead of the event, make sure you share the full itinerary with the group so they know what kind of clothes to bring, and how much time they have to explore the area and things like that.
8. Talk About the Kitty
Discuss what people want to do - do you want to order a big shop and everyone splits it? Or will one person bring the wine and another bring the snacks? Is everyone chipping in a tenner each for house supplies, and how and what will this be spent on?
Be realistic in what you order and what you ask for.
Often, it’s best to let people bring their own alcohol - it lets them control the spend and choose what they like, and it removes a job from you too. When it comes to food - it’s going to depend on what you’re planning as to whether you split costs or delegate jobs to people.
Some Extra Things to Think About When Planning a Hen Do
9. Don’t Overspend
It can be so tempting to give out hen party bags and hen party sashes, and we’ve all seen those pictures on Instagram of the girls in the bride squad pyjamas, but you should only really indulge in these if you can afford it or if it falls comfortably in the agreed budget.
The woman who has scraped £100 together for the weekend will really feel it if she then needs to pay an extra £15 for some cute stuff she’ll only use once, so be mindful of that if you are passing the costs on.
10. Don’t Be Scared to Delegate
Like many of us, you probably have an exact vision of what you want the hen party to look like, and that can make it hard to let go of some of the jobs, especially if you don’t know the other people in the group all that well.
But, as hard as it is, let go of some of the jobs. When people offer to help, take them up on it. These are all the bride’s friends, and they probably want to be involved.
Give people things to own, like specific hen party games, décor, or planning a particular activity. It will help you in the long run and they will enjoy getting to be a bigger part of the hen do.
Here are some tasks you should definitely delegate:
- Planning the hen party games - someone needs to sort out the Mr and Mrs Quiz*!
- Finding classy (and not so much) hen party accessories for the bride
- Hen party decorations for the house or hotel room
- Ordering hen party t-shirts
- Choosing hen party sashes
- Creating hen party bags
- Putting together the hen party playlist
*Our Mr & Mrs Quiz templates include a Mrs and Mrs and a Mr and Mr version too!
11. Give the Bride a Bit of a Guide
Even if you’re planning a total surprise for your bestie, remember to give her a least a little hint of what’s to come so she knows what to pack! We love the idea of issuing the bride with a hen do invite with a subtle hint at what’s in store for her.
12. Give Yourself Plenty of Time
You might be wondering how far in advance you need to plan a hen do... Generally, give yourself plenty of time, and then some. There is no such thing as being too keen here.
People’s diaries fill up fast so you want to lock the date in ASAP!
Give yourself plenty of time, and allow everyone to make the payments in three stages across the year - spreading them out can be really helpful.
13. Make a Spreadsheet
Make a spreadsheet and actually use it to map who has paid you for what and when.
If you want to avoid people messaging you asked if they've already paid or not, then make a spreadsheet and keep track of every last transaction and transfer.
It will be much easier to keep track of the costs and who owes you for what, as well as who is responsible for what. If you do it in Google Sheets, everyone can access it and update it if needed!
How to Plan a Hen Do: Expert Advice
Now that you've heard our 13-step guide to planning a hen do, let's ask our hen do expert in residence for her top tips and tricks on how to organise a hen do. As the editor of Hitched, Zoe has over 12 years of experience in the wedding industry, and has organised countless hen dos for her friends and family. Which, in anyone's books, makes her a hen party expert!
So, without further ado, let's see what she had to say in response to our burning hen party questions.
How Far in Advance to Plan a Hen Do?
Zoe advised, "I would say to start planning with at least year to go - longer if you can. I know that's very type A of me, but people make plans far in advance and you need to make sure the A-list hens can all make it, and that you have your pick of accommodation and activities, especially if you're planning around a bank holiday or in the summer.
"Hen dos can be expensive too so you need to give people ample time to budget and save up if they need to.
"Basically, it's never too early to start planning a hen do - you just need to make sure someone is engaged and the wedding date is set!"
How to Plan a Hen Night?
"If you're planning a hens night, I would always recommend starting with food", Zoe explained. "Whether that's a grazing table at your home, or a dinner out. Lining everyone's stomach is essential!
"For my sister's hen night, I hired a private room in a restaurant - it was a chain, nothing too fancy, but it allowed us to have some entertainment and our own playlist. We had a set menu to keep costs down, and I arranged for a drag performer to do some rounds of bingo with us!
"But you could also do a quiz about the nearly wed, or a few rounds of 'Never Have I Ever' to break the ice.
"You can then go on to another venue if you want - make sure you have a plan though and you've booked ahead for anything you want to do if you're in a large group. Something like karaoke or group activities like crazy golf can make it stand out more than a usual night out."
How to Organise a Hen Do? Dos & Don'ts
"The main thing you need to do for a successful hen do is make sure it's affordable and accessible to all those attending it." Wise words, indeed!
Dos:
"Send out an anonymous Google form or Doodle Poll that asks people for their availability, preferences and sets out budget ranges for them to choose from, then make sure you keep it within a that suits everyone.
"Let people know what they're doing! There's nothing I hate more than an 'all will be revealed girlies!' message on a hen do. It fills me with rage. We're all adults and we're all forking out a significant sum of money - we deserve to know what it's being spent on.
"Factor in some down-time on the trip too - it doesn't have to be activity after activity, as it's not corporate team building. People will appreciate time to explore the area, relax, chat and unwind."
Don'ts:
"Don't be afraid to delegate! If you don't know the group well, as your nearlywed which of her friends would want to be involved, and ask them to organise particular activities or decorations. It can be tempting to do it all yourself, but you'll get burnt out - and people want to be involved!
"Don't ask open ended questions - if you ask people 'what date can you do?' you're going to get 10 different useless responses. Instead, let them choose between two or three dates. It's ruthless, but effective.
"Don't forget to factor in the nearlywed too! Make sure you know their availability, preferences and add them into any budgeting you're doing. It can be easy to forget there's an extra person when they're not in the group chat."
Planning a Hen Do: Checklist Essentials
For a classic hen party, you need a few things. You need some things to dress the nearlywed up in - this can be as simple as a veil and a sash, or a full-on costume if you want to be a bit wicked.
You also need plenty of snacks and fizz! It makes sense to buy these two things from the group budget, but then let other people bring spirits if they want to. It keeps the spend down and gives people more say in what they want to drink.
You also need an excellent playlist - a great way to do this is to make it editable on Spotify and invite everyone to add songs. Everyone can add songs that mean something to them and remind them of the nearlywed.
Of course, don't forget the essentials like paracetamol, rehydration sachets, and hair ties.
We asked Zoe to share her essential hen party products for a fabulous celebration:
"So, I have a thing about goody bags on hen dos", Zoe explains. "I love them, but I think they should be funded by the organisers, not the hens themselves.
"When I'm putting together a hen do gift bag, I always like to include the following things:
Canned Wine - Nice Wine
Wine doesn't always travel well in bottles or cans, but these drinks from Nice Wine are an exception to that rule. I particularly like the pale rosé, as it's crisp, dry, and won't shatter if it's dropped on the dance floor!
Four cans equates to one bottle of wine, and you can order 12 cans online for £30, so it's a pretty affordable way to kick off the party with a great drink.
The tins are also fully recyclable, and the wine is vegan so there's plenty to be sloshed around.
- Pricing: £30 for 12 cans
Coffee Cans - GRIND
If the idea of battling with an ancient coffee machine during a hen weekend stresses you out, never fear. I love these portable coffee cans from Grind, as they have so many delicious flavours and dairy-free milk options, making them a lifesaver when catering for a large group of people with different preferences and tastes.
Brewed with their signature coffee blend, the cans are easy to transport and can be kept in the fridge. Then, simply stagger out of bed, crack one open, and enjoy a barista-quality ice coffee from the comfort of your kitchen.
- Pricing: 16 cans for £28
Under-Eye Masks - 111-SKIN
Planning a hen weekend can pose a common problem - surviving the second night after a hangover! But fortunately, there are a few ways to help everyone feel normal again after a wild first night on the hen party.
Coffee and a hot shower certainly helps, but these Cryo De-Puffing Eye Masks from 111SKIN are an actual miracle. They're often seen in every celebrity's makeup bag, and for good reason. Not only are they incredibly soothing and relaxing, but they also visibly reduce dark circles and puffiness around the eye area.
Trust me, the entire hen party will thank you for bringing these along! Top tip: place them in the fridge for an added boost of refreshment.
- Pricing: 1 mask for £12, 8 masks for £80
Sunglasses - Etsy
When planning a great hen party, it really is the little things that count. These sunglasses from Etsy are an adorable and cost-savvy addition to your hen do packing list as they really help to lift the mood, and set the tone of the weekend.
After all, you don't want the celebration to feel like any old party, and hen party accessories can help to get everybody in the hen do spirit.
- Pricing: £3.81
To keep everyone organised, Zoe also recommends purchasing a hen itinerary. It's a great way to make sure everyone is clued-in on what's in store for the celebration, whether it's over one night or an entire week.
Keep reading to discover her go-to hen party planners:
A4 Weekly Planner Pad - Good Tuesday
This one is ideal for hen parties taking place over a long weekend or even a week. It may seem a little excessive to purchase an entire calendar from Good Tuesday, but the best part is that you only need to use one page of it as a hen weekend planner - you can keep the rest of the calendar for yourself!
The pink and red design is super girly and fun, and you can stick it on the fridge in the kitchen of your hen party house, or anywhere that everyone will be able to see it, so you don't need to keep reminding everyone of the plans, timings, or activities. You can even choose to add a magnet for £1.50!
- Pricing: £12.50
Hen Do Itinerary Template - Etsy
For more of a classic hen party schedule, this itinerary template can be downloaded straight from Etsy and either printed at home or sent digitally to all of the guests.
This hen do organiser is hand-drawn, giving it a really personal, creative touch - plus, the disco balls and cocktail sketches really help to sum up what's in store! But if this one doesn't suit the aesthetic of the hen party, Etsy has plenty more for you to choose from.
- Pricing: £5.64
Hen Party Itinerary - Papier
For something a little more elegant, Papier offer some beautiful digital template designs for hen party itinerary inspiration that you can customise online and order straight to your home. This one is ideal for a more wholesome occasion, such as a hen party taking place in a garden, over brunch, or in the wilderness.
Simply remove the details about the food menu and replace with a hen party schedule of the entire event. Simple!
- Pricing: £29.50 for 10
"I also like to treat the nearlywed to a couple of things too. At my best friend's, I organised a hen party guest book that everyone signed in secret, before we gave it to her on the last day, and I printed off lots and lots of pictures of her with everyone in attendance - as well as some more embarrassing pictures of our bride!"
Remember, hen parties are meant to be fun! Now you know how to plan a hen party, read up on our most fun hen party ideas to inspire you…
