Speech by Adaboy

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Adaboy
Speech Date: Jul 1998
As you know I am the Best Man. What you might not know is that Michael was the best man at my wedding, ten years ago. So payback will be brutal. Actually, being a best man is an awesome responsibility, one that I don't take lightly, so I made a check list of what I think my duties should be. (Bring out check list)

Bring the checkbook or credit card for payments the Groom may have forgotten (or in Mike's case was too cheap to pay for)

Help the groom dress

See that angry ex-girlfriends are kept at bay – I found out however that most of them were far from angry. They were out having a party.

Ensure that the Groom:

a. uses the toilet before walking down the isle
b. make sure his shoes are tied
c. make sure his face is washed and hair is combed
c. make sure nothing is between his teeth
d. make sure that his trouser fly is up
Finally, make a speech at the reception. So here goes.

Let me start by saying that I think I know Michael better than anyone else in this room, even his parents, because there are a lot of extremely embarrassing things he's done that he has never told his parents. I happened to bring a list of them also. (Bring out list) Just kidding, I wouldn't do that to you Michael.

But Mike and I have known each other a long time, close to 18 years. We met at a highschool acting competition. We were both very involved with them back then. We were from different schools but, by process of elimination, we always ended up in the finals competing against each other. To be honest, for the longest time, I hated his guts. He was like a little Al Pacino, at least he thought so. Ultimately, we started a conversation and found out that we both knew every lyric to every Billy Joel song ever written. And as Billy says " You may be right, I may be crazy, but it just may be a lunatic your looking for" and I was. And we have been friends ever since. So, for those of you on Val's side who are just getting to know Michael, I just wanted to give you some insight as to what you've gotten yourself into. Now that is too late to back out.

Actually, it really is an honor to be Michael's best man because to me Michael is one of the best men I know. He is truly a quality individual. He is a great friend and lifelong confidant. We were always together. We were really more like brothers. In fact from the age of 16 to 18, my mom took him as a deduction on her tax return. She had to recoup the money she spent feeding him somehow.

Mike is loyal – I remember once when he was managing Gorky's downtown LA which was a pretty wild place, with drug addicts and gangsters. A homeless guy came in and stole a salad. Michael ran down the alley after him and when he caught up with, he struck the man and took back the salad. Now, Mike is not really known for his machismo, but he was in charge and that salad was his responsibility.

Michael is driven and dedicated. After college. He went to work at a night club on the Sunset Strip. His uncle Bob, who did the payroll there, put in a good word for him "give him a chance. He'll even work for free" He started as a waiter, then, in about two months, he was a club manager, then assistant GM and he didn't have to work for free. John Fitz over there recognized a good thing in Mike, made him an Assistant hotel controller, then controller and now he is the General Manager at a 250 room hotel, all this in about three years. That's impressive.

Michael's priority list goes like this: Friends and family first, job second, himself last. If you are fortunate enough to have him call you friend or family, he will be there for you when you need him. He is a mensch and I respect him as much as I love him.

I have always wanted the best for Michael and that is the reason why, when he met Val and he told me about her. I knew she was the one. She had so many of the same core values and principles as he did. And he told me that he thought about her every minute and couldn't sleep when he wasn't with her. No other woman made such an impression.

Michael is a romantic and the song when a man loves a woman describes his demeanor " he'll sleep out in the rain, if she says that's the way it ought to be" or even move to the country and live fifty feet above a raging river, when he's is afraid of heights. In fact Mike hit a bear on the way home Thursday night. As you can see he wasn't hurt and fortunately the bear seemed okay too.

Let me just say, that from my perspective Val couldn't be marrying a better man and Mike couldn't be marrying a better woman. Debra and I are so excited to have them both as friends. So please, everyone raise their glass. Best of luck to you both, Michael and Valerie. May you forever stand, holding hands.