Speech by Adam Cline

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Adam Cline
Speech Date: Jul 2002
Good evening. I hope everyone is enjoying themselves. I was until I had to get up here. My name is Adam and despite my inability to speak well
or read well in public Dave has chose me to be his best man. So thanks
for the honor Dave.

It's customary that the best man's speech contains a history lesson
involving some major event that took place on the groom's birthday. Well
for those of you that don't know, Dave's birthday is on July 4th. Now
I'm no historian but I did find one event that took place on that day.
July 4th?.. The day America gained its independence, And on a related
note, July 27th, the day Dave lost his independence.

Joie, without a doubt compliments Dave. Dave is kind of laid back and
quiet, (which is really odd if you know his father) and Joie, well, we
all know Joie. And its good Joie knows how to utilize her vocal
capacity, as the boss of the house she needs to be heard loud and clear.
Aside from Joie's vocal ability she is also a smart girl. I remember the
night I witnessed just what kind of brainpower Dave was marrying. The
four of us were in the car driving to dinner, and of course Joie has her
camera with her. In the distance ahead of us a full moon started to peak
over the horizon. Joie grabs her camera and starts to take a picture,
she then pauses and puts her camera down. She then says with a serious
face "I ‘m going to wait until we get closer."

Joie, you look absolutely gorgeous, and Dave, well, you can't even see the tape that's holding your ears back.

Dave and I have been close ever since I started dating his sister. So close that he has told me secrets that nobody else knows. One of those
secrets is that Dave keeps a diary. In preparation for this speech I decided to swipe his diary and copy a few pages. So here it goes. (Pull
out a diary prop.)

August 5th 2001- Today was my first day as a teacher. When the kids got
out of line I just got loud and acted tuff like dad does. I hope they
don't realize that I am really just a big sissy.

August 6th 2001- A pretty teacher at school talked to me today. That was weird.

August 7th 2001- I said hi to the pretty girl today. It's a good thing Adam taught me how to be cool.

August 13th 2001- Ate dinner at Olive Garden tonight with Adam, Chrissy, and the pretty girl named Joie. I think I like her.

August 14th 2001- I couldn't sleep last night with all the butterflies in my stomach. I think I like this girl more than my twin turbo mustang.

August 15th 2001- Adam is the coolest guy I know.

September 14th 2001- Joei kissed me. That was neat. I haven't kissed a
girl since my freshmen year of college.

December 7th 2001- I proposed to Joie today and she accepted. This is one of the happiest days of my life. Unfortunately, I can't see much
because I've been crying like a little girl.

July 27th 2002- I am getting married today, and I am so nervous. I have
already soiled my drowse twice. Adam will kick my ass if I crap in these.

On behalf of Dave, Joie and their families, I would like to thank everyone for sharing this special day, and especially those of you who traveled oblivious to distance.

Ladies and Gentlemen it gives me great pleasure to invite you all to raise your glasses and join me in a toast

Joie and Dave "May your years ahead prosper with love, health and happiness." ?????. To the new Joie and Dave ________.