Speech by Adam Dare

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Adam Dare
Speech Date: 04/08/2013 17:54:11

Thank you Rob for that emotional speech, even the cake is in tiers

Good afternoon ladies and gentleman, boys and girls. For the 90% of you that don't know me, my name is Adam and I have been given the great honour and privilege of being Rob's best man. I hope you are all enjoying what's been a wonderful day, as I'm sure I will be as soon as this speech is over and done with!!!

I'd just like to point out, this is the first time I have ever been required to make a speech, and it is true what they say, it's very nerve racking. Although, I do feel slightly better knowing I'm not the only person in the room who may be feeling a bit apprehensive and queasy of what lies ahead, but then again, it was her choice to marry Rob!

Unlike the other speeches, I will have keep this one short and sweet because of my throat (COUGH)..Hannah has threatened to cut it if I say too much!!

Anyway, before I continue, I'd just like to say a few thank you's!

On behalf of Hannah and Rob, I'd like to thank both of their friends and families for their continued support and help in the last year or so, without them all this would not have been possible and I know they appreciate it greatly.

It's also great to see people coming from around the country to be here today, it always amazes me how far people will travel for some free food and drink!

And finally, on behalf of the lovely bridesmaids Sequoia, Sarah and Becca, I would like to thank Rob for his kind words, I think we can all agree that they have done a brilliant job and look exquisite.

They come second only to the beautiful blushing bride who is looking simply stunning, and Rob, who just looks simple and stunned!

Seriously though I'd like to thank him as well for choosing me to be his Best man, you don't scrub up too badly yourself mate, although I am slightly annoyed that you copied my outfit!

I'd also like to take a minute to thank the Hilton Hotel, without whom this wedding would never have been possible. I can honestly say that Hannah and Rob will be in your debt forever… and at £4 a pint I think most of US will be too!

So anyway, that's the niceties out the way, let's get on with the speech

I've known Rob for around 15 years and I still vividly remember the first day I met him, First day of secondary school, Mrs Boucher's class. I walked in and was instructed to sit next to someone I didn't know. He was a tall, good looking lad with a real sense of style… we chatted for a bit… then I turned around to see Rob sitting the other side of me!

We hit it off immediately and our friendship blossomed, we'd often get told off for chatting in class, although it would always be me that got sent out! Possibly due to my deep voice, whereas when rob spoke he sounded like a pig being fed through a blender.

Rob has always been one of those irritating people who succeeds at everything he does without needing to put too much effort in, it just comes naturally to him. This was pretty much the case at school, where he excelled in every subject… except P.E. Although, he wasn't too bad at football. Our P.E teacher said there were only two things holding him back… His right foot and his left foot!

After school ended we both went on to Richard Huish college where Rob studied Law, philosophy, Maths and Religious Education, this set him in good stead, and for years to come he was unbeaten in any debate or argument.. This was of course, until the day he met Hannah.

After passing his A levels with flying colours. He went on to Cardiff university to take a degree in Philosophy and Religious studies.

It wasn't all hard work and no play for Rob though, as we soon found out when he invited us across the bridge to one of his many house parties.

We were told to bring our shorts and spare clothes as there was going to be jelly wrestling!

As you can imagine, We couldn't wait to get there and see these student girls fighting it out in a pool full of jelly!

However… these illusions were swiftly shattered when the night actually consisted of a half naked Rob playing winner stays on with his MALE housemates!

It's good to see his housemates here today, one thing THEY remember most about living with Rob, is that he loved a challenge! One in particular was the ‘Moulin challenge’.

For those of you that don't know, Moulin is a premium lager that can only be purchased from the top supermarket chains such as Lidl or Aldi and costs around 50 pence a litre.

This challenge was created by Rob himself and the idea was quite simple, drink 24 beers in 24 hours. Sounds easy right!

Well…

Dave and Dan managed to finish their beers over the course of the evening, whilst it took Tom and James until the following breakfast time.

Rob, however, took a different approach by drinking 10 cans in the space of 2 hours before locking himself in his room and passing out watching wrestling DVD's.

He didn't resurface until 9pm the next evening to be informed that he had lost. It just shows there is definitely truth in the saying ‘more haste, less speed!’

One time that sticks in my mind, was the summer of 2008 when 20 of us flew out to Majorca for a week of sun, sand and San Miguel, the destination we chose was a quiet fishing village called MAGALUF, it was our first lads holiday abroad and it didn't fail to disappoint! Whilst over there I made a fascinating discovery…

Rob's dancing…

For those of you who haven't experienced it, just picture a drunk mime artist.

His signature move is to caress an imaginary hovering ball and throw it to anyone who happens to be within 10 metres of him.

I can only imagine that when Rob and Hannah first met in our local nightclub, that he was at the bar, because if it was on the dance floor, I probably wouldn't be reading this speech now!

I must admit that I'm surprised Rob isn't a better dancer, ever since I've known him he's always been into the Arts

Mainly singing and acting.

I lose count of the plays I've seen him in over the years.

I don't remember the name of the last one, but I do remember him playing a very convincing cowgirl in the first half and a dancing rain cloud in the second!

One of my main duties as Best man was to organise the stag do

Another one of my duties is to not mention the stag do.

All I will say, is that a good time was had by all, EVEN ROB, and I was right in saying that the bruises and physical damage would have disappeared by the wedding!

Seriously mate, you can't even tell your eyebrows are stuck on!

Now I'm told that I should offer some words of advice to the groom, but, not being married myself I decided to ask a family member to help me out. So here's a tip from my granddad who's been happily married for over 50 years.

He believes that the secret to a happy marriage is by following these 2 rules!

Rule number 1: Whenever you are wrong, just be a man and admit it!

And

Rule number 2: Whenever you are right, JUST SAY NOTHING!

According to him, if you follow these 2 rules, you won't go far wrong!

On a serious note, Rob's been a brilliant friend over the years and it truly is an honour to be his best man. We've had some excellent times together and I know we will continue to do so.

When Rob told me he had asked Hannah to marry him I was delighted, I wish them all the happiness in the world. I have no doubt in saying that he will be a fantastic husband and a brilliant son in law!

Now it only remains for me to get you all on your feet. And with charged glasses..

I'd like you to join me in toasting the new Mr and Mrs Crocker.

Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the wonderful Bride and Groom!!