Speech by Andrew Wood

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Andrew Wood
Speech Date: Oct2006
1 Introduction and Icebreaker

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen

I'm sure you all agree that this has been a brilliant wedding so far, but
every silver-lining has a cloud, and I'm afraid I'm it!!

First of all I'd like to introduce myself to all of those who don't know me. I'm Andre Michaels and now Julies brother-in-law and I have the pleasure of being Mike's Best Man today, are you all enjoying yourselves wait for response Good, well I'll soon change that.

However, rest assured I'm only going to speak for a few minutes, s because of my throat, if I go on too long Debbie has threatened to cut it.
Well Michael, I hope you made the most out of your speech, now that you are a married man, that will be the last time your get to speak for 3 minutes without getting interrupted.

. I would first like to thank you all for coming today and helping to make Michaels and Julie's wedding such a memorable and special occasion. Personally, I wish you'd all stayed at home and made my job less nerve wracking.

2-thanks for bridesmaids

Moving on ladies and gentlemen
I would like to thank Mike for his kind words on behalf of the
bridesmaids,..

I would like to thank the bridesmaids they look wonderful and performed their role fantastically well, and also thanks to Ryan the page boy

Lets show our appreciation to the bridesmaids and Ryan

I'd like to say what a genuine honour it is to be asked to be Michaels best man today. I know I am just one of many equally suitable close friends that he could well have chosen. But I know he looks upon me as the older brother he never had, and I look on him as the younger brother I never wanted. Some words you could use to describe Michael are charming, intelligent and entertaining…but nobody said those, so I won't use them.

3-Roast Mike

This is traditionally the bit where I get to
roast him in front of everybody he knows, to totally embarass him in front of friends and family

I thought long and hard about this,.. but didn't come up with anything..it's not that he's boring..it's just most stories aren't suitable for a family wedding however I can be bribed see me at the bar later

This is my first experience in playing such a large role in a wedding and I appreciate Mike giving me the opportunity to make a fool of myself.
Since I really had no idea what exactly a best man should do or be responsible for I had to do a little research and I did come across a checklist of some of the things to do..

Apparently, before the groom went into the resister office , I should have:

Helped the groom get dressed – he should really be able to do that himself by now Made sure the groom used the toilet – I sent him in there, but I wasn't going to make sure Gotten him to the church on time – I guess that went ok.

Made sure groom's face and hair were in order – uh huh
And finally,ensured the groom's fly was done up – that's when I realized maybe his mum Di should have been the best man…

Michael I won't say what you said to me on my wedding night all those years ago to your sister something about look after her or I will put your lights out, as I know you better, he has always been protective as your find out Julie

Okay, this is the part where I'd like Mike and Julie to participate in my speech. Julie, If I can ask you to place your hand flat on the table.… Mike, it's now your turn. Place your hand directly on top of Julie's…
Now Mike, please take a moment to basque in this, as it is the last time that you will ever have, the upper hand. Okay, that's good.

Now I've almost finished, but before I do I'd like to clear up one little misunderstanding about where the happy couple are going on honeymoon. Apparently, Julie thinks she's going to Mexico which sounds lovely, but she needs to talk to Michael as it seems they are actually going to North Wales. I was talking to Michael about it and he definitely said he was going to Bangor for a fortnight, so maybe you two should discuss that one.

So now I come to my final wedding day duty which isn't a duty really – it's a real pleasure: on behalf of the bridesmaids and myself I sincerely wish you and your lovely wife, Julie everlasting love and happiness! Julie welcome to our family
And Bagsy first dance with the bridesmaids”.

The end