Speech by Andy A

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Andy A
Speech Date: 20/04/2012 13:01:48

Hi everyone,

For those of you that don't know I'm Andy. John was actually best man at my wedding just 6 months ago. At the time we did make a deal that if we we're both good at it then we could do it for each other next time as well so I hope this is good enough!

I actually think that the main reason John picked me was so that when he was stood up at the front here he would have someone stood next to him to make him look taller and thinner! I'm glad I could help!

I thought it would be appropriate if I started the speech like this…

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Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to welcome you on board the wedding of John and Jane. I am Andy and I'll be your bestman for this speech. On behalf of both John and Jane I would like to welcome you to this special day for final leg of the journey from boyfriend and girlfriend to husband and wife.

This speech will be lasting approximately 5 minutes and, with any luck, be including many laughs and stories along the way.

Please be aware that, should the need arise, your nearest exits are here, here and here.

At this time can I ask that you have a full drink in hand and your seats are upright, mobile phones are switched off and that you are sat comfortable as, for one of us, this could be a bit of a bumpy ride!

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I would like to start by saying on behalf of the bride and groom, thank you all for your coming today in celebration of their marriage. Jane, your dress is amazing and you are looking exceptional today, and John, well, he's here!

I'd also like to say what a wonderful job the bridesmaids have done and how amazing they look as well, so here's a toast to say thank you…

TOAST <the Bridesmaids>

I'm lucky enough to have known both John and Jane for many years since our sixth form days at Stretford Grammar. Like my wife and I, they are a product of the Stretford Grammar common room and John often tells me that, going off the way things seem to work he and Jane seem to be working to a similar schedule to us. Around 6 months after we got together, John and Jane got together, literally 6 months ago we got married and here we are today with John and Jane getting married. So by my calculations with our baby due in February that means around August next year there might be some good news?

I actually still remember the first time I feel I really got to know John; well I remember parts of it! We'd been out in Manchester and had a few drinks but weren't really enjoying the evening. Luckily, Dave had a free house and, in his words ‘some drink’ that we could have. This sounded like a great idea and so, kebab in hand, the 3 of us headed back to Daves. Sadly I can't tell you much more about that night as we managed to polish off the drink that was promised – and Baby Cham really goes down easily! – and the next thing I remember was Steve snoring downstairs, no one remembering how or when he arrived, and me waking up next to John in bed. He was smiling though so what ever happened must have been fun!

Everyone will know John is a quiet and sensible person. In fact I think it's fair to say John's that sensible that he won't play on Fifa on the PlayStation in case he gets injured! Luckily we managed to get him into net for our 5-a-side team, the Stretford Old Boys. I have to say that he was a cracking keeper and probably kept us in the division we were in single handedly, and every so often he used his other hand and his feet and on more than one occasion his face! Well that and the fact that we were in the bottom league so couldn't go any lower! I also think he does hold some records for the team as well. Most ‘Man of the Match’ awards, Most visits to A&E after the game award and also the record as being the only one of us to never score during a game…well…in the oppositions net!

Away from the football you can safely assume that if neither John nor Jane are working then they will be either at the cinema watching the latest films or tucking into a Nandos chicken, even back when Jane was a vegetarian! Quite often we'll go as a group and I remember when having a conversation with them at Nandos and completely misunderstanding what they meant by wanting to spice things up! I was thinking about buying them a book on the Karma Sutra, they were thinking of going for a hot marinade instead of lemon and herb!

As a couple I'm sure everyone can see that they are perfect for each.

Can I ask our bride and groom to stand holding an arm out and can John put his hand on top of Jane's for a few moments.

It was a great privilege being asked to be your best man and I hope I haven't let you down. John is my best friend and I'm sure he will make a great Husband and I'm even more sure they will be extremely happy for many a year to come.

You can both lower your arms now and sit down; I just wanted John to have the upper hand over you for the first and last time in your marriage!

And so:

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Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the end of my speech. The local time is <check time> and the weather is <check weather>, however for these 2 the outlook is bright.

For your safety can I ask you remain clapping until I am seated as this will indicate the end of the speech?

Could you check your table for your drink but be aware that it may have moved around in all the laughter.

I would like to thank you for choosing to listen and finally could I ask you to raise your glasses.

To Mr and Mrs Jones

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