Speech by Andy Davies

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Andy Davies
Speech Date: apr 2003

Ladies and Gentlemen
On behalf of Marie and myself, I would like to thank both Phil and Rita for their kind words and generous gifts.
I have to say I was very surprised when Phil asked me to be his best man. Having never been in the luxurious position of being a ‘best man ‘ before, I didn't hesitate in accepting. Although there is no substitute for hindsight. ……… large group of men , full of alcohol, foreign country…………should have started alarm bells ringing really…….…
However, I promised that I would take my duties as best man seriously, A few of which have been * To make sure that Phil was ready in time today…… which he was *
That he's as calm as possible, ……..and doesn't resort to beer for the nerves
And that he is well dressed and looking smart……well the suit's smart, but I couldn't find anything to stop the glare from Phil's head, (glasses que)……….I see some of you have come prepared yourselves……..… *
The role of the best man is traditionally given to a close and trusted friend of the groom. Lucky for me he wasn't available. I know that Phil's nervous about the content of my speech…..all I can say is it's your fault, you asked me!
I suppose I should tell a few stories about Phil which he may find a little embarrassing , but out of respect for him I have decided not to tell you about them………………….…
In any great detail……….…
But it is said that the Best Mans speech is the worst 5 minutes of the groom's day………the worst five minutes for Rita, however, come later tonight (*****WEDDING TIN*****) I thought this might help. The wedding night tin!
Although I'm Phil's best man now, we haven't always seen eye to eye……..I can remember when we were younger, Phil would call me thicky and I would call him smelly and we would both run home crying………..then he would email me from work and we'd make up
Shortly after I first met Phil, I noticed what a trend setter he was…….The eighties were a time for loud clothes, and big hair, and Phil was no exception…………(PHOTO) (3 Photo's ad lib)
Still they say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I remember Rita saying to me once that she thought that Phil was Handsome from afar……..I still think that she meant far from handsome……….…
I'd like to ask Phil and Rita to take part in a little ritual. Rita can you place your hand flat on the table,……….thanks, and now Phil, if you can place your hand on top of Rita's……….enjoying that…..… good……… make the most of it…it's the last time you'll ever have the upper hand………
I was speaking to Rita's dad earlier on and he was remarking on how quickly children grow up these days………He said that when Rita was younger, he remembers sending her to bed with a dummy………….how history repeats itself.
To get a little in sight into Phil's past I tried to contact some of his old girlfriends………….Unfortunately since the foot and mouth outbreak most have either been shot or are still in quarantine.
Joking aside, I have know Phil for 16 years, and during that time, we have seen a lot of changes. . Phil has grown in many areas…and receded in others
He's caring, considerate, generous; some of his work friends even refer to him as god like……………rarely seen, holier than thou, and if he ever does any work it's a miracle
Phil has never been too outrageous or over the top, in fact he was quite the opposite, that is until he discovered alcohol.
With alcohol freeing his inhibitions, Phil was able to pursue his love for outrage and surprise……….I remember one such incident, which was only a couple of weeks after Phil and Rita started seeing each other.
We had been out for the night, and having had a few drinks, Rita was kind enough to offer me a lift home. I got out of her car and was ready to leave, when Phil suddenly got out of the car after me, looking something like the Tasmanian devil and launched himself at me. I took it in good spirits and showed him as much by joining in with his jolly jape and had a friendly wrestle……..It was the following day I found out that Phil's head had left a dent in Rita's car…………..understandably she was not amused, but still chose to marry him.
Those of you who have spoken to Phil about his stag weekend, will no doubt have been given the impression that he was a reluctant participant, but have I got news for you……….Once he saw these, he couldn't wait to get his hands on them, ………….so I thought I'd bring them along so you can add them to you dressing up box…….and of course you need a memento of the weekends activities………….Well I don't know about you, but I think this is definitely your best side.
I also have a little something for Rita. I thought this might save you some time. (Boyfriend Control)
Phil and Rita suit one another. They are yin and yang,……..… day and night……….Romeo and Juliet, and looking at them today demonstrates exactly what true love is. Theirs is a marriage of love… pure and simple…………………Rita's pure and Phil, well… least said the better.
I've got a few messages here from those who couldn't make it here today to celebrate with you.
(Messages………)

Finally;
I would like to say that it is a privilege and a pleasure to see two of my best friends make this commitment to each other
May you live as long as you want and never want for as long as you live
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I invite you to stand and raise you glasses in a toast to, ………..Mr and Mrs Harrison