Speech by Andy Moore,

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Andy Moore,
Speech Date: Aug2007
Good Afternoon Ladies and gentleman, they do say speeches are meant to be short and sweet, so thank you and good night! No really it wont be too long because of my throat……..Jon has threatened to slit it if I mention anything that might land him in trouble with Jeni.

THANK YOU

On behalf of Kirsty, Stephanie, Molly, Joshua and the 2 James's I would like to thank Jon for his kind words and the gifts we received. I am sure I speak for us all when I say how proud we are to be here on your special day. It's certainly been an emotional day even the cake is in tiers!!!

INTRODUCTION

Jon and Jeni have finally got married then, for better or for worse, which is quite appropriate as Jon couldn't have done any better and Jeni couldn't have done any worse!

So what a wonderful day it has been so far, it has been a credit to Jeni, Jon and those who helped to organise the day. And of course not forgetting Joshua for what a wonderful job he has done today, wouldn't you all agree?

Actually, while enjoying the service this afternoon, I couldn””t help thinking that it””s funny how history repeats itself. I mean 24 years ago Jeni`s family were sending her off with a dummy…..… and here they are again today.

GROOM

Some of you may know that Jon was in fact my best man a few years ago and I must admit he was pretty easy on me, but over the next 5 minutes I think he will regret that!

While doing some research for my speech I came up with a list of do`s and dont's which rather narrowed down my options.

Don't mention ex-girlfriends &ltthrow away card&gt
Don't swear &ltthrow away card&gt
Don't tell risqu&#233 jokes &ltthrow away card&gt
Don't tell lies &ltthrow away 3 cards&gt
Do tell mostly positive stories about the groom &ltthrow away 5 cards&gt

Another responsibility I had other than the speech was to make sure that Jon turned up on time, sober, and looking good. Well 2 out of 3 isn't bad!

An important Best Man's duty is to offer you all an insight into the character of the groom, so today I thought I would take the opportunity to pay tribute to a man who has many positive attributes.…

Good looks……..intelligence, . . . . Charm . . . and . . . . . . . whit

However as it's Jon's wedding so it's only fair that I talk about him!

Jon Lowe was born on 28th October 1979, weighing 7 pounds and 5 ounces, 12 hours of labour, complete and utter agony for Jane, and nothing has changed much since, now I'm not saying he was an ugly baby but Jane only had morning sickness after he was born!

That was also round the time that The Police topped the charts, which is quite appropriate in Jon's case as he has been number 1 on their hit list on a fair few occasions.

I met Jon in North Thoresby and he's been a great friend of mine over the last 20 years or so that I've known him. I've watched him grow from a cheeky, pasty, freckly teenager into a cheeky, pasty, freckly adult.

I managed to get hold one of his school reports which said &quotideal pupil who excels at most subjects&quot – sorry that should have read &quotidle pupil who was expelled from most subjects.

Now Jon and I didn't always get on – I remember times when I would call Jon ‘Shorty’, he would call me ‘big ears’, and we would both run home crying. But sure enough, the next day, Jon would email me from work and we'd make up and go for a pint.

Jon was a keen footballer and considered himself to be a bit of a star player. In fact he could have turned professional if it wasn't for two things, his left foot and his right foot.

We enjoyed our first pints together and first ventures to PIER 39 where I have been witness to the raw, and still undiscovered talent of Jon's rhythm. Regularly he would empty the dancefloor with his unique style of dancing which left the women speechless…..… By speechless, I mean none of them ever spoke to him.

He was always the fastest at finding his way out of clubs. Usually with a bouncer attached to his collar

Now that Jon is his own boss, I believe the guys have started calling him god at work, but that's only because they never see him, and if he ever does any work it's a miracle.

BRIDE

I'm sure that you will all agree that Jeni looks absolutely beautiful.

I have always thought that she has been a caring, loving and patient, person, well she would really to have put up with Jon for the last ten years.

No joking aside Jon has told me that Jeni is the most wonderful person that he has met, and he is so proud that finally after all these years she is now Mrs Lowe.

I have one card that's been received at the hotel this morning to read out here………..…

Dear Jon, congratulations on getting married, and also on winning our big spender of the month award!

Lots of love from William Hill in Louth.

CLOSING STATEMENT

I'd just like to thank you for your patience and kind attention, and to those of you who managed to stay awake: cheers!’

TOAST

So this just leaves me to toast two very special people, which if it wasn't for them, we wouldn't be here today, I'm sure we will all spend some time in their company throughout the evening…….ladies and gentleman, could you charge your glass's……I give you “the bar staff”.

I'd like to leave you with one final thought: You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry someone you can't live without. In this case, these two really have married the right person. Ladies and gentlemen I give you the new Mr and Mrs Lowe, the bride and groom.