Speech by Andy Parker

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Andy Parker
Speech Date: 05/01/2011 20:11:21

Hello and welcome to Alan & Kate's wedding

Firstly I'd just like to say I'm very nervous about making this speech. The last time I stood up in front of a crowd of people. I was singing Tom Jones-Sex Bomb.  So this is a very new experience for me.

For those of you that don't know me. My name is Andy what-would-you-like-to-drink’. I hope many of you will come and say hello at the bar later – but I do insist you use my full name.

I'm the best man and Alan's good friend.

After many years of staring at the mirror, telling myself I'm the best man. Here I stand today making all those times feel worthwhile.

When Alan first asked me to be best man. I was extremely honoured. Then I started thinking about the speech and my brain just frazzled up.

So I set upon using the Internet for help.

During my research on the internet into best mans role I also looked into weddings in general, I looked at the three key elements of the wedding service itself: –
The Aisle – it's the longest walk you'll ever take
The Alter – the place where two become one
The Hymn – the celebration of marriage

I think kate must have done the same research as I did, because as she was walking past me, I'm sure I heard her whispering to herself, Aisle…altar…hymn, aisle altar hymn, I'll alter him etc.

While I was researching on the topic of best man. I was also flicking on to Facebook where I found this lovely poem.

We were given, two hands to hold, two legs to walk, two eyes to see, two ears to listen, but why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else for us to find. Alan & Kate have found their second heart with that comes a special key which un-locks all the love for one another.

I would like to say a thank-you to Alan & Kate personally for being kind enough to let me play a small part in there big day and on behalf of Molly the flower girl & Lee the pageboy you both did a wonderful job and whom I'm sure you'll all agree look fantastic. Eclipsed only by Kate, who looks well just absolutely stunning today! Alan, on the other hand, just looks stunned and well done to Bill & Tony today for giving away the bride.

I've known Alan for a good 15 years. We first met at Brockhill Park School back in 1995, the Roy Evans era as I like to call them years. Me being a Manchester United fan & Alan being a Liverpool fan we just clicked. In the years we have know each other we have had some excellent, funny, mad times, Like the day of the flying Whisper Cappuccino. Always remember that day & the great idea of dipping Marsh Mallows in Coca Cola and throwing them around the room. Finding Marsh Mallows months later stuck to posters and everything.

There was a time when Alan's favourite song was “sing it back” by Moloko.

If any of you here remember that song. His dream was to be Moloko and wear the silver dress she has on in the video. I think he's still got it now at home somewhere. Later tonight I will ask the DJ to put the song on hopefully he's brought it with him I did ask nicely & Alan will show off his Moloko moves.

To be truthful Alan & Kate have shared many romantic moments. I would like you to both share one with us all here today.

Kate please can you put your left/right hand flat on the table and Alan please place yours on top of it.

Excellent, I would like you to remember and treasure this moment forever. The last time you will have the upper hand Alan

There are only a couple of other things to do, one of which is to read out a few cards:

Dear Alan

Thanks for the fun weekends at heaven nightclub, I do hope you've made the right choice.  Love Elton John.

Dear Kate

It was nice while it lasted, but I guess we'll have to call it a day now you're married.  From Brad Pitt

Alan and I have had some excellent times together and I know we will continue to do so. Alan you're an excellent friend and its been an honour to be your best man, I wish you & Kate all the very best for the future. On behalf of the bride & groom I'd like to thank everyone here for sharing their day and making it so special.

Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for not falling asleep during my speech.

May your love be modern enough to service the times and old fashioned enough to last 4 ever.

HERES TO LOVE, LAUGHTER,

AND HAPPILY EVER AFTER,

AS Alan and Kate START THEIR NEW LIFE,

PLEASE STAND & TOAST THE NEW HUSBAND & WIFE.

To the new Mr & Mrs Martin, Alan & Kate