Speech by Anon

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Anon
Speech Date: Oct2004
Opening

I appreciate your drinking time is very valuable so as Henry VIII said to each of his Wife's… I shall not keep you long.

Thank You Guests

On behalf of my Wife and……..… I'd like to begin by thanking you all for coming here today especially as I know many of you have had to travel a long way . We'd also like to thank you for your kind wishes, cards and generous gifts.

Thank You Parents

Thanks to my parents and my new mother in law for their support and generosity as this wedding couldn't have taken place today without it.

Mary

Mary, I'd like to thank you for welcoming me into your family, allowing me to stay in Paisley when it was too late and too far to travel back to Cumbernauld and for your endless supply of wine gums and fudge donoughts which ensured a titanic battle this morning attempting to squeeze in to my suit trousers.

Parents

To my mum and dad thanks for your support today &amp throughout my life, as you know only too well, I've always been there when I've needed something and I'd like to reassure you that nothing that's happened today will change that in any way.

Absent Friends and Loved Ones
I'd like to make a toast now to our absent friends and to the people we have known and loved who are looking down on this celebration and hopefully having a little one of their own up there. Ladies and gentleman would you please stand and raise your glasses……”Absent friends and loved ones”.

Thank You Minister/Organist

aOur thanks also to Reverend Christie for agreeing to marry us, for a lovely service and for having word with her boss about today's weather arrangements .

Thank You Aunt Mary

Next we'd like to thank my aunt Mary for the lovely cake. It must have taken a lot of time and effort to make, transport here safely form Colintraive and to have fended off our sweet-toothed nephews Jack and Grant.

Thank You Usherettes

Thanks also to Ashley and Stephanie our usherettes for today although I should point out they took some convincing that when separating the guests during the ceremony they were supposed to ask them Bride or Groom and not Rangers or Celtic.

Thank You Best Man

I'd also like to thank Robert the best man….I could find for the job. During the eight years I've known Robert he has been both my running partner and more importantly my drinking partner and has always been there when I needed tickets for the Football or Rugby, in fact a little bird told me that he'd managed to secure a couple of hospitality packages for Hampden today so hopefully my new wife won't mind too much if, once the formalities are complete, we disappear for a couple of hours to catch the second half ?????… Well maybe not.
With my character being so unblemished Robert may have to resort to making things up during his speech so please at least pretend to listen politely and take what he says with a pinch of salt.

Thank You Bridesmaids

I'd now like to propose a toast to the Bridesmaids for performing their role so wonderfully as apparently it's quite difficult to pout, look pretty, and hold flowers
all at the same time, especially for an hour.

But seriously our genuine thanks go to them for all their efforts and a special mention to Ann, Sharon's chief bridesmaid, not only has she struggled out of her sick bed to be with us today but she also introduced Sharon and I on that eventful evening 8 years ago.

Would you please raise your glasses – The Bridesmaids

Thank You Sharon

And so to my blushing bride…..I'd like to thank Sharon for agreeing to be my wife, she looks stunning and has done a wonderful job of organising today. I'm not saying I didn't do my bit.… I am here after all but I'm sure you'll agree she's done a fantastic job and I hope that every day will be as happy as today ….only cheaper.
Some of you may think that after 8 years together we may have lost some of the sparkle in our relationship but I still make the effort to hold Sharon's hand ……usually in self defence…… and we still find the time to say those 3 little words to each other…me to Sharon “Yes I will” and Sharon to me “You'd better had”
Tradition dictates that I now tell you and amusing story or two about Sharon, however Sharon dictates that I do no such thing so instead I'll finish with a final toast to my wife…..…

Here's tae you
And here's tae me
I hope we never disagree
But if by chance we ever do
Then here's tae me, tae hell wae you.

Thanks and I hope you all enjoy the rest of the day.