Speech by Anthony Tinnion

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Anthony Tinnion
Speech Date: aug2002
Good afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen. I'm sure you'll all agree that it's been a fantastic wedding celebration so far……..but every silver lining has its cloud, & I'm yours. For those of you who don't know me, my full name is Ant do you want a pint.
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So Tony and Claire have finally got married, for better or for worse which is funny as Tony couldn't do any better and Claire couldn't do any worse

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I must say that Claire looks absolutely stunning and as for Tony he just looks stunned.

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No seriously Tone looks great too although he copied my outfit.
I would like to thank the bridesmaids for firstly performing their roles so gracefully and for looking fantastic through the day. Id also like to congratulate them for doing such a great job in making sure that Claire went against her better judgement and didn't change her mind.

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Thanks must also go out to Mike who has done an awesome job ushering people around today.

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Rest assured though, unlike most best man speeches, which are full of sexual innuendo , I've promised Tony and Claire that if there is anything slightly risqué, I'll whip it out immediately.

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When Tony asked me to be his best man I had to find out about such things as speeches and wedding format. Not having a clue about weddings I went out and bought a book on marriage procedure which explained it all.

One of my duties is to make sure that Tony got a good night sleep for his last night of freedom and I can assure you people that he that he slept like a baby——soiling himself and waking every hour crying for his mum.

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It has also been my job to make sure Tony is something he usually isn't
Basically smart, punctual, and sober

I discovered that there are three key elements to the wedding service these are as follows
The Aisle- the longest walk you'll ever take
The Alter-the place where 2 become 1
The Hymn-The celebration of the marriage

I think Claire must have read the same book as me as when she was stood next to Tony.
In the church today I'm sure I heard her say the words…… I'll alter him ….ill’ alter him.

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I would like to thank you all for coming and making the day even more special, especially those of you who had to travel to get here, Its amazing what some people will do for a free dinner, isn't it STEVE.

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For those of you who don't know Tony has never been lucky in doing things
Right the first time.
It took him 7 tries to pass his driving test
5 attempts before he got his maths gcse
3 goes at his 25m swimming badge which I'm sure he cheated on
But today as you all saw he gained his marriage certificate with flying colours today on his first attempt.

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Coming back to Tony's driving skills If anyone sees Tony heading towards the wildlife park later please stop him as he ran over a jaguar on the way to work last month and I don't want him after the lions and tigers.

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I hope Tony realizes how lucky he is – I still don't know how he got her to say yes because all she seams to say now is NO Tony No.
I would like to read a few cards out
Real card
Fake Claire.. To Claire good luck for the wedding, I cannot believe you chose him over me, lots of love, Robbie Williams
Real card
Fake Tony. I cannot believe you chose her over me , lots of love Julian Clairey ps give me a ring.
It now gives me enormous pleasure not to mention relief to ask you all to stand and raise you glasses in a toast to the new bride and groom, The new Mr and Mrs W
We wish them all the best for the future and hope they enjoy a long, happy, and successful marriage …..… Tony and Claire