Speech by Ben Eve

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Ben Eve
Speech Date: Jan 2002
Ladies and Gentleman, on behalf of the bridesmaids and pageboys, I would like to thank Darren and Mr Hopkins for his kind words.

I would like to start by saying what a wonderful, charming and kind man the groom is….ooops sorry wrong wedding.

It is never always a slightly unnerving time to make a speech. Making a best man speech is supposed to be like making love to the queen . I'm sure it is a great honour, but no on really wants to do it.

And I have realised that this is not the first time today that I have left a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand. I have now got the honour of spending a few minutes enlightening family and in-laws as to the real Darren.

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Ben. I had the pleasure of working with Darren for several years in Plymouth. He was also my boss for some time. But he isn't now, so I will show no mercy.

I first knew Darren in about 1996, when I first moved to Plymouth. Darren lived in Eliot Road, and I lived very close. In those days Darren was a slightly…how do you say, spiky, bolshy media teacher with a hint of attitude. He would pop into the pub for a few looseners on the way home. He wore scruffy denim shirts and with a tie somewhere around his navel. A jacket was unheard of! He was the Nigel Kennedy of the educational world. There was even a hint of fluff around chin and mouth that kind of resembled a goatee. Now just look at this handsome man today!

In the words of a doting grandmother, my hasn't he changed.

It was about two years after I met Darren that a major transformation took over Darren. He was promoted, albeit temporarily to Head of the English Department. Overnight there was this miraculous change.

Gone was the militant radical media teacher with a devil-may-care attitude. In came the sharp suits, stern faces and responsibility. Darren was no longer one of us, but one of them. It was about this time that he moved into what can only be called an executive apartment on the Hoe with amazing views across Plymouth Sound, and out to sea. Darren was now part of management. We were subjected to his ruthless regime based on hard graft and raw aggression. Mind you we are all speaking to him now so he can't have been that bad.

Anyway, enough of work! Darren is a fine man who is now to married to a wonderful woman. He is certainly one of the most positive and optimistic characters I have had the pleasure to know. Well, he has to be. He supports Nottingham Forest.

This moves us onto the another aspect of Darren's life. As mentioned Darren is a keen follower of sports and not just an armchair fan. Not only does he watch football but every once in a while dons his rather garish Nottingham Forrest shirt and joins in the hilarity of staff football matches.

Not necessarily the fastest or most nimble man on the field, and stamina might not have be his forte, but he certainly has a few tricks up his red sleeves. His elusive running and assertive tackling, and blatant fouling when energy is running low, have earned him merit in the world of Staff Football as a rather less mobile Trevor Francis.

As I have said Nottingham Forrest is his favourite team, although he is one of the small minority who spend Saturdays watching Plymouth Argyle, who are doing curiously well now. I am reminded of one Saturday when Plymouth were playing a welsh side. He was in a pub full of both supporters, when an almighty fight started following a rude comment about Welshmen (which Darren might have said). The pub was demolished; bodies were flying out of windows, chairs broken over peoples back. Real cowboy film stuff! Darren assured us all that he held his own and got a bit handy, but no one could understand why he had cuts on his palms and knees. I'm not sure what part Darren played in the fight, but what is known is that the only beating he got was his pride when he was witnessed crawling out of a fire escape whimpering for his mother.

Continuing on the theme of sport, the distant days of Eliot Road were memorable for him having Sky television with sports channels, a real treat! I would often be invited to watch footy around his house, drinking a few beers and often crashing over for the night. I remember one night that we had just watched a footy match, Darren started looking a bit suspicious. He pointed out that he had one thing I might be interested in watching. Sky Sports 4 was what I think he called it. I think you may have guessed it but for nearly a whole year innocent Darren was a secret subscriber to an adult channel. (give him his bunny ears)

Needless to say, I was appalled.

I would now like to say, my hasn't he changed, but unfortunately he hasn't.
On behalf of the bride and groom, I'd like to thank everyone here for sharing their day, particularly those who have travelled long distances. I started planning this speech 12 months ago, and you must all feel like I've been delivering it equally as long.
Now it gives me immense pleasure (not to mention relief) to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast for Darren and Rachel no less, who deserve to be here with each other today (and I do mean that in the nicest possible way). We wish them well for the future, and hope they enjoy a long, happy, and fruitful marriage. Darren and Rachel…