Speech by Ben Howlett

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Ben Howlett
Speech Date: Nov 2008
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, I hope, like me, you have had a wonderful day so far

For those of you who don't know me yet, My name is Ben and I have the honour of being best man for Adam today.

Now before I continue with my main duty, which is giving Adam an uncomfortable few minutes, I would like to take this opportunity to request that you all join me in showing your appreciation for all of those who have helped make this day so special for Julie and Adam.
Julies parents Roy and Jane
My surrogate parents Paul and Elaine
I would also like to thank the bridesmaids who I'm sure you will all agree look fantastic, and for the help and support they have given Julie today….… I mean Lets face it she has just married Adam so she is going to need all the help and support she can get.

I would also like to thank the three ushers Rob, Daniel and Stevo. Firstly for all turning up sober! and secondly for their important roles today, I'm sure you would have all struggled to find your seat in the church without them.

At this point you might be wondering who this person Adam is and only know this man next to me as Diddler, I can share with you how he got the nickname

I remember the 1st day I head Adam referred to as Diddler and it did not take long for me to realise why, Like the 80’s cartoon octopus squiddily diddily Adam is constantly fiddling with something, wether it be a small toy a big boys motorbike toy or even the occasional Anne Summers toy Adam had to fiddle with it. Hence his nickname Diddler

Nearly 2 years ago well actually, it was 21 months 9 days and 13 hours Diddler asked me if I would be his best man.
Now. ….You all might think that this is ample time to prepare my best man speech…..and you'd be right!

However after the initial excitement – fear, worry and panic set in when I realised what I had actually agreed to do.

For the first 19 of these months, I found myself sifting through vast memories of Adam, trying to find something I'd be able to use in this speech ……weekend binges, party boy impressions and Diddler's unique way of telling the time.
Whilst re-living these memories, it suddenly dawned on me that I played an active part in most of them, and as I have not yet secured a ring on my good ladies finger and I would like to add how beautiful she looks today, I decided that most of them would be best kept to myself…… for now anyway, but the night is young and I'm still sober!

I was first united with Diddler at secondary school where we shared the same classes, tutor group and mischievous sense of humour, and so it was inevitable that we became best mates.

School holidays were spent fishing and rollerblading and we have even shared milestone events in our lives like getting our ears pierced against our parents wishes, wedge hair do's with undercuts Nice! and successfully lighting each others farts with a zippo lighter! own up, I'm sure loads of have tried this at least once.

Then as mother nature took over our bodies, we swapped tent sleepovers in the garden for our first local pub, next came derestricted 50cc motorbikes or mopeds to everybody else and naturally this started to attract the ladies!

I have been warned that ex girlfriends is definitely on the list of things not to talk about at weddings, but at the risk of ending up being as popular as Russell Brand and Jonathon Ross at a Fawlty Towers waiters reunion, I'm pleased to see that Diddler has changed his ways with Julie, as most of his ex's didn't survive the last foot and mouth outbreak.

I couldn't possibly finish this speech without mentioning Didler's recent Estonian stag do. 19 REAL men, plus a taffy and a jock. 1st beer in the airport on Friday at 6am and last in the airport on the Sunday, and virtually no sleep for most of us in between.

Nothing quite beats the cure for 21 hangovers like a Saturday morning shooting high calibre guns in a small room.
The testosterone was so thick on the bus back to the hotel, that everybody had grown beards during the 30 minute journey..… YES – even you Burchy

Nearly done now, so before I exchange my cue cards for a large Jager bomb at the bar, I would like to finish with this.

I spent the best part of 2 years worrying about this speech and then 2 weeks ago it suddenly came to me…..…

Nobody else could possibly stand where I am right now and feel more proud and honoured than me to be able to represent Adam on this – the most important day of his life.

He has been a truly loyal friend to me for the last 15 years and I'm sure you will all agree with me that Adams natural charisma and infectious charm is addictive to be around.

It is then no surprise to anybody that you now have a beautiful wife in Julie, who looks absolutely stunning today. You truly a lucky man, and I know you both have many wonderful years together ahead of you.

So at this point I would like to propose a toast, and ask that you are all upstanding…

Please all raise your glasses and join me in toasting Adam and Julie/the bride &amp groom.

Adam and Julie/the bride &amp groom.