Speech by Bill Dale

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Bill Dale
Speech Date: Jul 2002
Ladies and Gentlemen, Good Afternoon, for those of you who don't know me my name is Bill, I am probably one of Brian's oldest friends as well as being best man today.

They say the Best man's speech should be as long as it takes for the Bridegroom to perform his manly duties, so that's the speech over.

Sit Down, Wait about 10 seconds then stand up.

Only joking Brian

I must ask all the people here on Brian's behalf not to take any photo's, or to make a Video during the speech for security reasons, That is social security reasons.

I must admit I cannot understand why Brian asked me to be best man for him, but as people have said to me it's a bit like being asked to make love to the queen, a great honour but nobody wants to do it.

As you can see I have my speech written on a few sheets of paper, and I have to admit this is the 4th time today I've had to leave a warm seat with Few sheets of paper in my hand.

Anyway I agreed to be Brian's best man and I am sure that you will agree with me that my first duty to get him to the wedding not only looking smart, but also on time and sober was a great achievement.

When I researched the Best man role, I found that there were three elements of the marriage,

They are as follows,

1. The Isle The longest walk you'll ever make
2. The Alter Where 2 becomes 1
3. The Hymn The Celebration of the Marriage

And do you know when Barbara and Brian was standing at the isle, I thought I overheard Barbara say, Isle, Alter, Hymn,
[ I'll alter him.]

page 2

As one of Brian's oldest friends, I think I know him better than anyone else in this room today, There are lots of embarrassing stories I could tell you about him, and after careful thought in this matter I thought what the hell, and I made a long list of them, but I had a change of heart and I have decided not to repeat them.

If anyone wants to Know them I'll be in the bar later.

We first met in 1966, what a year that was, leaving school in the summer, winning the world cup, [ sorry Barbara] and starting work as apprentice motor mechanics at Allan Taylor motors for a huge sum of £4.10 shillings a week, or £4.50p to the majority of people here.

We both attended Wandsworth Technical College and it was there that I noticed that Brian had a problem distinguishing between millimetres and inches, and I hear he still has this problem today. And I have to tell you Barbara don't believe what Brian says Inches are bigger then Millimetres.

Brian and I have known each other for quite a long time, 36 years to be exact. And I have to say it is an honour to be the best for Brian at his wedding, not only because Brian was my Best man 29 years ago when Lyn and I got married, but because Brian is a one off, a true individual, someone to confide in, and a great friend. It's not many people who can say that they have lifelong friends, who have been through good times and bad times together, and still remain great friends. But I can.

We were always together when we were young, so much so that I believe Brian's dad must have thought he'd adopted me, as he always bought the beers for us both, not allowing us to buy a round back.

Mind you we always managed to track down which pub he would be in.

Brian has always been dedicated to his work, and by determination and the will to succeed, he ended up being the manager at a M.F.I. stores. as most of you here today will know.

I'm not sure how as when you look at his C.V. he has had more jobs, then the job centre has got.
Quite an achievement, as he came to Wales to become a dodgy insurance salesman.
Page 3
Ever Since Brian and I met, he has remained a fan of Chelsea f.c [some ones got to be] and I believe he even managed to bribe Lee in following them with him.

Anyway I phoned Chelsea f.c, to ask if they had any advice I could pass on to Barbara but they informed me they had tried him in every position possible and found him useless, and they hope he shows some improvement tonight.

To get to a more serious note I thought I'd pass on to Brian the advice my dad gave me before I got married,
He told me I had to keep whispering three little words in her ear.

You're Right Dear.

As Brian had been living alone for a while, I put an advert in the local Review and Free Press newspapers, asking if any women had any keys to the flat could they please return them, I got a great response from the add, together with twenty sets of keys back.

Before proceeding with the toast I would like to read out a message from those not here today:

1) To Brian And Barbara have a fantastic wedding! See you soon no doubt with love from, Alan, Steph, and Victoria Wine. –
Sorry that wrong,
It should have read, all the staff at Victoria wine.

I'm sure you'll agree with me when I say that it's been a very emotional wedding. I noticed even the cake was in tiers.

Well I think you've heard enough from me now, so

I would like to thank everyone on behalf of the bride and groom for coming along to share in their special day.

Ladies and gentlemen it gives me great pleasure to invite you stand and raise your glasses to Brian and Barbara.

The Bride and Groom