Speech by Brian Handley

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Brian Handley
Speech Date: Jun2007
Good afternoon everybody. As father of the bride, it is my privilege to make the first speech and I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is, to welcome on this very happy occasion, Francis, Daves Mum, together with all relatives, and friends of both families.
I know a lot of you have travelled considerable distances to be here. Its very much appreciated. Thank you.

I can remember many years ago, attending quite a few weddings, where every one started their speeches by saying “Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking” Well, I suspect that very few of us are accustomed to it, and even fewer when it involves speaking at your daughters wedding. Just what do you say?

Well I suppose I can look back over the years, when Claire was growing up.

I can remember coming home from work. I'd be dressed in a collar, tie and a suit. I'd pick her up for a cuddle, and she would be sick all over me. After many expensive dry cleaning bills, I decided it would be cheaper to sit her on my lap. But instead of being sick, she wet her pants, and obviously she wet my trousers at the same time. But what can you say? Well I said a lot actually, because she was 18 at the time.

Eating with Claire was always interesting, mainly because she refused to eat with a knife and fork, preferring her fingers instead. Which was no real problem except that her aim wasn't very good, and most of the food missed her mouth and went in her ears, nose and hair. Any food that was left, was usually thrown on the floor. But what can you say. Well apart from lets spend more money getting the carpet cleaned again.

Expensive tastes. Claire was about 6 years old, when one day she asked for some money for an ice cream. She returned with a triple cone, which had 3 different flavours of ice cream and a flake in each flavour. Hundreds and thousands were sprinkled on top and the whole thing was covered in strawberry sauce. It even had some bubblegum inside the cone. I didn't get any change and it was at this point I realised that our daughter was developing expensive tastes. But what can you say. Apart from I need to get more overtime at work.

Jobs, she's had a few. Most of us know what her current job is, flight attendant but did you know she used to work at East Midlands airport on the check in desks or that she worked in a couple of travel agents. Did you know she once sold popcorn in a multiplex cinema. Did she tell you about the time she worked in Asda's wines and spirits department? No, well its probably because she only lasted 2 days before she got the sack. It seems a couple of immigrants asked her to recommend a good port and she said Dover, now clear off. But what can you say. She was living at home at time, so it meant she didn't pay any board for a few months until she got another job.

Cars. Crashed a few. Written a few off. In fact I think she's probably crashed all of the cars she'd ever had. She was full of excuses, usually that some one had hit her in the supermarket car park and drove off. But we know different. In fact most of the excuses she used, I'd used myself to my Dad. But what can you say. Apart from we'll pay for the damage.

Boys. The one word that puts the fear of god up any father who has a daughter. We all wonder who our daughter will bring home. Will it be a tattooed skin head or a long haired hells angel. What we got was much more frightening, a Manchester United fan. But what can you say. Well, it could have been worse, as I am a Sheffield United fan, he could have supported Sheffield Wednesday.

But here we are today, the both of them now married to each other and Claire is now Dave's financial responsibility. What can I say, apart from….YIPEEEEEEE arms thrown up in air

Seriously, both Sue and myself are very proud to see Claire looking so beautiful today. She has been the best daughter that any one could have wished for, we love her to bits. She has always brightened up our lives, that's probably because she never turned off any lights. She's never got any thing to wear, but has 6 wardrobes full of clothes. She dresses to kill and cooks the same way. She's great fun and perfect in every way.
By the way Claire, you've spelt perfect wrong.

We are also very proud that she has married Dave, a very special young man. I can remember when Claire was 15, she told us there was a lad at school who was in the football team and that all the girls fancied him. But she was going to make sure that he went out with her. And he did. And they are still together after all those years, which is remarkable in its self these days. We couldn't have wished for a better son-in-law. He is hard working, honest, kind, considerate, and thinks the world of Claire.

I hope you have a really great honeymoon, which incidentally Dave, is the bit between “I do” and “You'd better”

And finally, please be upstanding and raise your glasses for the health and happiness of the bride and groom, Claire and Dave