Speech by Carl Barrett

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Carl Barrett
Speech Date: Sep2006
Good afternoon everybody. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Best man name. I'd like to start with the easiest part of the job which is to thank Groom name on behalf of the bridesmaids and the ushers for his kind words.

I'd also like to add my own compliments to Bride name, who I think you'll agree looks absolutely stunning today. I'm also impressed how well Groom name has turned out…although I am disappointed he decided to copy my outfit.

I'd like to say a big thank you to Groom name, for giving me the privilege and honour of being his best man. I must admit that I have found the thought of standing and speaking in front of you all rather daunting…although it's nothing compared to the ordeal Bride name faces!

When Groom name asked me to be his best man I set about researching the job in hand. I found that I was responsible for a number of different tasks:

1. Make sure the groom gets a good night sleep before the wedding day. Well I'm pleased to say that he slept like a baby. He wet the bed and woke up crying for his mummy.

2. Make sure that his face and hair are in order. I personally think this duty was quite unfair. If God couldn't get it right first time I'm not sure what chance I had.

Now, before I go and embarrass Groom name in every unfair way I can think of, I'd like to start by giving him some advice, which I hope he will find useful in the years to come.

There are 3 rings involved in marriage: There's the Engagement ring, the Wedding ring and eventually suffering.

Always tell your wife those 3 important little words: “You're right dear”.

And finally remember women are to be loved….not understood. credit goes to Oscar Wilde for this line

For those of you who don't know Groom name as well as me, I will now try to give you an overview of his life so far.

Every now and again we have a rare opportunity to talk about a man who is witty, charming, good-looking and intelligent.… although obviously not today, as this speech is about Groom name.

Groom name was born on the groom birth date and looking at him now it's no stretch of the imagination for you to accept that frankly, he was an ugly baby. In fact when he was born the midwife slapped the parents.

Unfortunately being alongside Groom name at School has made it difficult for me to talk about what he got up to without incriminating myself but I did find an old school report, which may give you all an insight into his time there:

Maths – Although very keen, Groom name has a distinct problem differentiating between inches and centimetres…according to Bride name he still has this problem today!

Religious Education – Groom name's understanding of Christianity is very poor, so much so that he believes the book of Genesis was written by Phil Collins.

Music – Groom name is very hands on in music lessons but we wish he played the instruments….rather than with himself!

His career since leaving school took many different turns before he found the job he enjoys today. Having spoken to a number of Groom name's colleagues they told me that around work he is known as “God”. Initially I was impressed by this tribute but his colleagues then went on to explain the meaning behind this nickname: he's rarely seen….and if he does any work it's a miracle.

Groom name's proposal to Bride name was very special. He has always been an incurable romantic, and to me, his idea of proposing to Bride name in McDonald's can only be described as a stroke of genius….Only joking, Groom name wouldn't be so tasteless. It was a much more exclusive setting than that…it was KFC!

Seriously though Groom name is one of my few genuine friends and over the years we have always looked out for each other. We have stuck together through thick and thin and both share a love for the same football team. He and Bride name have always been generous enough to invite me round when they appear on Sky and it's rare that I miss the opportunity to be in their company. I'm sure Groom name and I will remain friends for life…unless of course he cancels his sky subscription!

It ‘s tradition for the best man to slate the groom in his speech but in Groom name's case this has been difficult as he really is a fine person who has always been loyal and supportive to his friends and family. In Groom name, Bride name is getting a partner who is dependable, honest, reliable and hard-working. In Bride name, Groom name is getting his perfect match and I think we all know they will be truly happy together.

Now it's obvious that there are two very important people here today, without whom very little of this would have been possible. The great thing is that as the evening progresses, most of us will get to spend more and more time talking with them. So please join me in a very special toast – to the bar staff!

Finally…it gives me great pleasure to be the first to toast your life together and I thank you for that honour. Ladies and gentlemen, may I ask you to raise your glasses to Groom name and Bride name, the bride and groom.