Speech by Carl Slaney

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Carl Slaney
Speech Date: Aug 2002
MY SPEECH FOR THE WEDDING OF BANNY AND JOANNA

HELLO EVERYONE! CAN YOU HEAR ME AT THE BACK? ..… WELL IN THAT CASE I'LL HAVE A JACK DANIELS AND COKE PLEASE.

ON BEHALF OF THE BRIDESMAIDS I WOULD LIKE TO THANK STEVE FOR HIS KIND WORDS, AND MAY I ALSO ADD THAT THE BRIDESMAIDS DID A FANTASTIC JOB TODAY AND ALL OF THEM LOOK ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL. I'D ALSO LIKE TO SAY THAT JOANNA LOOKS STUNNING TODAY AS I'M SURE YOU WILL ALL AGREE AND STEVE YOU DON'T LOOK SO BAD YOURSELF.

GOOD AFTERNOON LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DON'T ME MY NAME IS CARL SLANEY CLOSE FRIENDS JUST CALL ME SLANEY AND VARIOUS OTHER NAMES BUT WE WON'T GO INTO THAT.

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING TODAY AND HELPING TO MAKE JOANNA AND STEVE'S WEDDING DAY SUCH A MEMORABLE AND SPECIAL OCCASION FOR ALL THOSE INVOLVED. PERSONALLY I WISH YOU'D ALL STAYED AT HOME AND MADE MY JOB LESS NERVE RACKING.

WHEN STEVE FIRST ASKED ME TO BE HIS BEST MAN MY FIRST REACTION WAS THAT I WOULD HONOURED TO DO THIS FOR HIM? WHEN I REALISED THAT I WOULD HAVE TO SPEAK TO AN AUDIENCE THAT SWIFTLY CHANGED TO TERROR. TO COMBAT THIS I SEARCHED THE INTERNET FOR SOME ADVICE ON HOW TO BE A BEST MAN. BUT ENDED UP GETTING SIDETRACKED INTO OTHER INTERNET SITES BUT I WON'T GO INTO THAT EITHER AS THERE'S CHILDREN PRESENT.

IT WOULD NORMALLY BE DEEMED TRADITIONAL AT THIS STAGE FOR ME TO RECALL EVENTS FROM STEVE'S PAST THAT HE MAY FIND EMBARRASSING THEREFORE I'M GOING TO FOLLOW TRADITION AND TELL YOU ABOUT A COUPLE OF THEM.

WHEN THE CAR PICKED US UP THIS AFTERNOON I HAD TO CHECK WITH THE DRIVER THAT HE NEW WHERE THE RECEPTION WAS BEING HELD AT. BECAUSE THE LAST YEAR WHEN STEVE, JOANNA AND THE KIDS WENT ON HOLIDAY TO PWLLHELI THEY ENDED GETTIN LOST AND GOING THE LONG WAY ROUND AND WHEN I SAY LONG I DON'T MEAN 20 OR 30 MILES OUT OF THERE WAY I MEAN ABOUT 150. SO IF EITHER OF THEM WOULD HAVE HAD TO GIVE THE DRIVER DIRECTIONS THEY WOULD HAVE PROBABLY GOT HERE FOR THEIR FIRST DANCE

MOVING ON TO MY NIGHTS OUT WITH STEVE ALWAYS PROVIDES ME WITH FOND MEMORIES OF HIS INDIVIDUAL DANCING SKILLS. THESE NORMALLY START WITH A TAPPING OF THE FOOT AND A NOD OF THE HEAD, THEN HE STEPS ONTO THE DANCE FLOOR SLOWLY SHUFFLING AROUND AND THEN HE STEPS IT UP BY SWINGING HIS HIPS AND BY THE END OF THE NIGHT HE'S BOUNCING ABOUT, FALLING OVER AND DEMONSTRATES AN EXCELLENT IMPRESSION OF RICKY MARTIN. IF YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH, LATER ON, I AM SURE STEVE (AND MAYBE HIS DAD CAUSE I HEAR HE'S A BIT OF MOVER AS WELL) WILL DEMONSTRATION ONE OR ALL OF THESE TECHNIQUES LATER SO KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED.

READ SOME CARDS OUT

I WOULD KNOW LIKE TO FINISH OFF NOW BUY GIVING JOANNA AND STEVE A LITTLE BIT OF ADVICE FOR TODAY AND THAT IS ENJOY THE MOMENT BECAUSE IT GOES SO FAST AND REMEMBER ITS NOT THE HAPPIEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE ITS ONE OF MANY LIKE THE BIRTH OF YOUR CHILDREN AND MANCHESTER UNITED WINNING THE EUROPEAN CUP.

SO WOULD YOU ALL PLEASE STAND AND RAISE YOUR GLASSES WITH ME AND WISH THE BRIDE AND GROOM ALL THE HAPPINESS THEY DESERVE. THE BRIDE AND GROOM.

THE END 27th JULY 2002