Speech by Chris and Rich

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Chris and Rich
Speech Date: May2007
Rich: Ladies and gentlemen, Bride &amp Groom. We would like to thank everyone for being here on this special day for Hannah and Chris

Chris: For those who don't know us….My name is Chris

Rich: And I'm Rich

Chris: Before we continue, we would like to point out to those who maybe feeling the effects of the alcohol already, there are two best men standing up here and you are not seeing double.

Rich: We are both unaccustomed to public speaking and have been fairly nervous before today's speeches, in fact the last time we were this nervous was when we were waiting for Chris to get a round in!

Chris: It is both a privilege and pleasure to also speak on behalf of the bridesmaids. And I'm sure they would like to thank Chris for his kind words and gifts. We have to say that they look wonderful and have done an excellent job today. We would also like to thank the Ushers who have been a great help in ensuring that the day has run smoothly.

Furthermore, I'm sure you will all agree that Hannah is looking absolutely stunning

Rich: and Chris, well you just look absolutely stunned.

Chris: Most importantly, we would like to congratulate the happy couple, Hannah and Chris, because all of us here who have been lucky enough to spend time in their company know what a great couple they are, perfectly complementing one another.

Rich: In preparation for this, we heard is it traditional to embarrass the groom in the best man speech, but then we thought where's the challenge in that? Chris is perfectly able to embarrass himself all on his own

Chris: Apparently the most important thing we had to do was make sure Chris got to the church on time, looking presentable, clean-cut and sober. Given what we had to work with, I don't think we did a bad job – you scrubbed up nicely today mate, it's surprising what a flannel and a bar of soap can do.

Rich: Chris was born in 1978. Believe it or not that was also the year that: The Smurfs appeared on TV for the first time. And just 2 weeks after he was born family planning was made available on the NHS. Make of that what you will

Chris: We first met Chris one inebriated NYE, at a night club in Leeds, since then have been friends, for over 6 years now, usually partners in crime, and today.… honored and proud to be Chris's Best Men.
Rich: Hannah first set eyes on Chris, in a night club in London.
Chris: And she had just recently started working for Virgin.

Rich: We think that Chris misheard this and thought he was in for a challenge.

Chris: Chris lived in Nottingham, Hannah lived in Reigate.

Rich: Quite a distance from one another, I'm sure you will agree.

Chris: But this did not stop love from blossoming.

Rich: But it did mean Chris had to fork out more money on petrol.

Chris: Wow, it must have been love.

Rich: We had a look into Chris's past, to see what interesting stories we could find.

Chris: When we made our initial enquiries with our various sources, we noticed a pattern starting to emerge.

Rich: We like to call this pattern the Yorkshire Man Trait.

Chris: The YMT is strong with this one.

Rich: It is basically a pattern of behaviour that makes people spend as little money as possible, while still having the maximum fun and excitement.

Chris: For example, Chris went to a football match, in Birmingham with his friends. Unfortunately, he had mis-read the time table and therefore missed the last train home. He only had 㿊 left.

Rich: So, what did Chris do to get himself out of this situation? Call a friend? Book himself into a cheap hotel? No..

Chris: He spent 㾶 on entrance to a Strip club and the other half on beer and a private dance.

Rich: Money well spent if you ask me.

Chris: Well…yes, but this only gave him refuge until 3am.

Rich: He then spent the rest of that night trying to find warm shelter in Photo booths. But he was moved several times and had to spend the rest of the night in the company of full time vagrants in shop doorways.

Chris: On the theme of feeling like a homeless person, we understand that Chris, during his student days, didn't like the thought of having to pay for central heating.

Rich: We take it Chris liked having his own weather system in his bedroom, looking up, from his bed, wearing hooded top, gloves, 3 pairs of socks and a hot water bottle.

Chris: When friends called to visit, they used to gauge how cold it was by measuring the thickness of the fog that had accumulated around the ceiling.

Rich: But Chris is older and wiser now…

Chris: And to prove this he has offered to buy all of the drinks for the rest of the evening. ….cheers mate

Rich: I for one will be taking home a complimentary magnum of champagne.

Rich: Scraggs and Raggs as Hannah and Chris like to be known as.…

Chris: We still don't know which one is which…

Rich: …..make a perfect couple. With Hannah's almost unhealthy obsession with tidying and cleaning, mopping and washing..

Chris: And Chris's unnerving ability to put up with it.

Rich: Hannah, I really must say that you look absolutely beautiful today and it kills me to say this as your older, better looking brother.

Chris: And ……..Chris, we have had some excellent times together over the years, and I know that we will continue to do so in the future

Rich: Our last duty today is the toast, so may you all be upstanding.
May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old fashioned enough to last forever.

Chris/Rich To the Bride and Groom. [TOAST GLASSES]

To the Bride and Groom!