Speech by Chris Hammond

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Chris Hammond
Speech Date: 27/06/2011 14:01:44

Beginning:

Good afternoon ladies, gentleman. If there is anybody here who is feeling worried, nervous or apprehensive, your either or you just married Jason Stone!

I am proudly standing here as both Jason's best man and Vicki's little brother which makes the day doubly special for me. Before I begin the task of giving Jason an uncomfortable few minutes

I'd like to start by saying that Vicki, you are my big sister and I am sure everyone here will agree with me when I say how beautiful you look today. You are a fantastic woman and a brother couldn't ask for a better big sister!

I would also like to say that the Bridesmaides Nicola and Maddie both look lovely today and would like to thank Nicola, my girlfriend Nicole and my mum for helping Vicki through some of the stresses of the past few months planning.

I would also like to make a special mention to all the guys that made it to Jasons stag do in Newcastle earlier this month you all made it a great laugh and I hope you enjoyed punishing Jason with alcohol and what can only be called an obscene costume, pictures available on request.

So are we all having a good time? Right then onto the speech I will try to keep the clichéd jokes to minimum but I couldn't help adding a few in, see if you can spot any copy and pastes. As I was doing my research on the internet as all best men do I read somewhere that a best man speech shouldn't take any longer than it takes the groom to make love. So ladies and gentlemen – I give you Mr and Mrs Stone. (Take drink and sit down).

Middle:

Okay okay I will do my speech!!

So where do I start with Jason? A man so interesting he gets not one speech about him but 2

Well for starters he's…

Handsome

Witty

Intelligent

He's Char… Charm.… Sorry…Jason I having trouble reading your handwriting, you can tell me the rest later.

In all honestly having gotten to know Jason. He is great guy, he's funny, honest and clearly completely devoted to Vicki and most importantly he makes her happy and a brother can't ask for much more than that, well maybe that he doesn't support Manchester United (yes Jason Stone out and proud glory supporter)

I remember my first night out in Glasgow with Jason very well. He was a little nervous at first after hearing Glasgow's reputation for hard men and was even more apprehensive when we had to tell him that a glasgow kiss was not something you usually get from a first date. However as the night progressed Jason seemed more and more relaxed and all the clubs and pubs that we went to were abuzz with the Phrase ‘Jason from Australia’. By the end of the night this phrase had been said so much I was starting to think from Australia was his new last name. From then on I knew that Jason would not be very hard work to get to know.   

I have to say though Jason to get to the stage of actually marrying Vicki you have passed something that is akin to getting through a gauntlet otherwise known as Maurice Hammond. To take my dad who while honest can sometimes be about as subtle as a sledgehammer and take it all on the chin I have to give you a lot of credit, as Vicki may have had her fair share of boyfriends but a lot have crumbled once they got to the Hammond Clan. To give an example that has always stuck in my head Vicki had a boyfriend when she was around 18 they were both ready to have a night out and Maurice the Sledgehammer simply says the line.… ‘Why are you going out in your Pyjamas son?’ forgive me for my Scottish accent I learnt it from Jason. I may have only been 14 at the time but I could see that the guy was devastated and was on the verge of tears. All I can say is that I am glad Jason is not the crying type 

Once I realised the duties of being a best man, I did start to think this was great opportunity to hold leverage over my future brother in law especially when organising the stag do.

I hope you have fond memories of yourself dressed in a Jimmy hat, a kilt, white socks and brown shoes wow good look indeed!

I'm not sure that Newcastle was ready for it but hey! Oh and Jason just to let you know the gap between the last pub at 1am and our return to the hotel at 3am where you thought that no pictures had been taken well lets just say that's the leverage I was talking about before!

While I am younger than you Jason and from what Kris has told me I have had approximately 54 less girlfriends I can still give you some advice from my experience on how to keep things running smoothly never forget those three very important words you must say at the end of every conversation….… “you're right dear.” And if Vicki ever says you are right on anything you better get it recorded!

Conclusion

Nobody else could possibly stand where I am right now and feel more proud and honoured than me to be able to represent Jason & Vicki on this – one of most important day of their lives.

I look forward to being a part of their lives and having them both as a part of my life for many many years to come.

So then, Ladies and Gentleman, it gives me immense pleasure, to invite you all to be upstanding and raise your glasses in a toast to Vicki & Jason, we wish them well for the future, and may they enjoy a long and happy marriage.

To Mr & Mrs Stone