Speech by Chris Harrinauth

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Chris Harrinauth
Speech Date: may 2003
Some people say marriages are made in heaven. While others believe like carnival, Marriage is the greatest show of love.
I think that Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (more like a life sentence!).
In fact, One may be able to extend marriage into an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
Mr. Chairman, Bride and Groom, Special Guest, Family and Friends, A pleasant good afternoon.

The May 18 is quite a significant day as it was on this day that Lincoln was nominated for presidency, and India joins the list of nuclear countries. Today adds one more significant milestone to the journals on history with this marriage.

I am honored to called upon to make a toast on behalf of the groom, Gary, And to provide them with some words of inspiration (may be) as they proceed along life's journey as man and wife.
In the year 1976, the year in which Gary was born, there are some significant happings. The phrases ‘Junk food’ enters the English language I don't think this is coincidental and First commercial flight by the Concorde airplane, ironically in 2003 the year of Gary's marriage was its last flight. So Gary could describe your bachelor's life as the raise and fall of the Concorde.
This old man once said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married ….but then it was too late!"
Seeing that the couple will be spending most on their lives in SARS infested Canada, I will like to redefine SARS them.
For the bride, SARS will now stand for Security, Accountable, Responsible, Sharing
And for Gary, SARS, will mean Stop All Roaming for Sex.
Gary you must keep your wit about you at all times in try to develop and promote your marriage,
This remains me of this a newly wed couple, the story goes like this:
A newly married husband left work early on a Friday. And instead of going home, however, he squandered the entire weekend (and his paycheck) partying with the boys telling them of the joys of marriage and his young and beautiful wife at home.
When he finally returned home on Sunday night, he ran into a barrage of names from his furious young and beautiful wife. After a couple of hours of nagging, his wife asked, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for a couple of days?"
The now fed up husband replies "That would suit me just fine.”
Monday went by, and the Husband didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went, with the same result. Come Thursday, the swelling had gone down a bit and he could see her, just a little, out of the corner of his left eye.
So Gary let good sense prevail, your must always be accountable for your actions.
I remember Gary as a quiet boy till he wrote the 11 exams and passed to a school that was not considered fit for his ability, His Mom, Sandra said that he should repeat the exams, It was only then the once quiet Gary showed a determination that has since marked his growth into adulthood. He wrote pages of letter on why he should go to the new school but good sense prevailed. The next year Gary passed for Presentation Collage Chaguanas.
When Gary was planning this wedding. Cost was a big issue, as he had to ensure that he had enough funds to have his fantastic honeymoon. So he called his father Tony and asked him "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" to which Tony replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
But seriously, Statistics have proven that marriages are the number one cause for divorces, In the olden days back in our ancestor's land of India, It is said that a man did not know his wife until he marries her. But today this tradition now happens everywhere!

For this reason, There are 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term success. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr/Ms Right! (Who first name in not always)
If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." That I believe is the #1 mistake people make when they date.

Choosing a life partner should never be based on love alone. Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here.
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

Love (alone) is not the basis for a successful marriage. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more.
Here are some questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.
QUESTION #1: Do we share a common life purpose?
Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
Why is common purpose so important?
Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life – bottom line- and marry someone who wants the same thing.
So Gary you will have to teach you new bride the rules and are of pool, the correct way to hold a que and the proper stands and position for each shot.

QUESTION #2: Do I feel safe expressing your feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question, Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust.
Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen.
So Gary, Now that you are married it is said that a husband never gets the last words in. But let me give you some advise that is tested and proven be me on how I am able to get the last words in whenever Lisa a I have one of our heated discussions. I simple let her know who is in charge around this house by saying, "Yes dear"
QUESTION #3: Is he/she a sensitive person?
A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing." So ask about your significant other:
What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world:
People who are dedicated to personal growth, and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that.

QUESTION #4: How does he/she treat other people?
It matter not how often a married man changes his job, he always ends up with the same boss.
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. To measure this, think about the following:
How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as a waiters, bus boy, taxi driver? How do they treat parents? Do they have gratitude and appreciation and show respect? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you–who can't do nearly as much for them! You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
This reminds me of the discussion I had with the bride before the wedding ceremony, I noticed her distress so asked her what was wrong. She replied that she was nervous and afraid she would not remember what to do. I told her that she only needed to remember 3 things. Just like the church, First the aisle, because that is what you'll be walking down. Secondly, Just like the alter because that is where you will arrive. And the ceremony will take place and Finally, remember hymn because the music will tell you that the service is done and you should leave.
While the bride was walking in, imagine the shock on the faces of family and friends of Gary. They were horrified to hear her repeating these 3 words. . . Aisle, alter hymn (I'll alter him!) (I'll alter him!)
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. You can probably expect someone to change after marriage .. for the worse!" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then the rewards of long-term success marriage will surly evade you. (Toast)
Here's to love, laughter
and happily ever after.
As Gary (Groom) and (Bride) start their new life,
Let's toast the new husband and wife Thank you