Speech by Chris King

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Chris King
Speech Date: 20/01/2013 08:28:42

Distinguished guests, guests of no particular distinction, friends and family young and old, freeloaders, hangers on and of course Dion, it's a privilege and an honour to welcome you all here today and to talk on behalf of both us. 

This speech won't be too long today; neither will it be fuelled with too many toasts.  It's not that I'm concerned with boring you; I'm simply trying to keep the wine within budget at half bottle per person! Although I see one or two of you with children are having their allocation too!  However, as there will be one or two please charge your glasses.

So to us. Our first date, a vivid memory, I remember it well. A bright summer's day in Islington….That wasn't you? …Ah, our first date, a vivid memory, I remember it well…a damp evening at London Bridge…Ok, moving on…

As some of you know we are a product of internet dating…For those of you who aren't familiar, it's about matching profiles and interests in the first instance which can end up saving so much wasted time, expense and bad memories!

Now, as you'd imagine Nicola was smitten straight away but I was a little more cautious. It wasn't until a fine March day when we were watching the rugby at a pub in Clapham. The boys had 8 pints, she matched each one, fell out the pub, fractured her ankle, Steve hailed a taxi in the middle of the road,  I got her home, had pizza, she was sick on me, went to sleep, she woke and ate the remaining pizza.  Only then did I know she was the girl for me…now that is a little difficult to put in an on-line profile!

I would like to say a BIG thank you to both Iris and Iain for all their love and support, you have made me feel so welcome in your family and I have never had the chance to say thank you properly – so today,  thank you. Thank you also for raising such a beautiful, intelligent, calm, patient, and stubborn daughter and, of course, for letting me have her hand in marriage. I intend to do you both proud…Although I have now discovered she has a new skill. I was sure I signed off the final edit of our vows today although it now appears that ‘OBEY’ must have been left on the cutting room floor!

And of course, my Mum who's on Harry duty today.  What can I say except thank you and I love you for everything.  And I really am delighted she made it today given she was under the surgeon's knife only 2 weeks ago.  It's amazing what women will do to fit in to ‘that’ dress.

This year has been particularly challenging for our family given the passing of my father.  He set his goal of making it this far and to be here today but alas time ran out. Dad always knew what the most important and precious thing in life was –Mum. I want to make him proud and for Nicola to know she is the most important and precious thing to me. 

Ladies and gentlemen please be upstanding, I would like to propose a toast. 

TOAST: To our Mums & Dads.

Unfortunately my Daniel couldn't make it today either but the tips apparently are just too good at this time of the year to take time off! 

He would have been so proud of his little brother today.   Kilted up and walking down the aisle with our flower girl, Eleanor.  Although it was going to be too high risk to dress him as true Scotsman today!

Of course I'd like to thank Paula for encouraging Eleanor in her duties today.  She was simply remarkable

So, once again, please be upstanding as I propose a toast to Eleanor and Harry.

TOAST:  To Eleanor & Harry

And of course a special thank you to my brother Allan and now sister-in-law, Janine, for doing the readings today. But as I said I'm trying to stay on budget so we'll skip the toast here!

It's lovely to see so many of our family and friends here today…to help us celebrate the happiest day of Nicola's life. This does really reflect most of the group of people who are in both of our lives today. I know that some of you have travelled a long way to be here and that means a lot to us, especially at this time of year…It really wouldn't be the same without you all, cheaper, but apparently that's not the point.

Thank you all for your gifts…it's actually been quite overwhelming to find out how tight some of you are!  Seriously, your individual and collective generosity has surprised both of us. Particular delight was taken from those who gave cheques. Having both been the recent victims of identity theft we now know enough to use the details to pay for the DJ later.  

As a reminder for me, each of the centre pieces does have a name tag on it so please make sure you take these away with you.

Apparently, there is an unwritten rule of wedding etiquette that states that nobody should look more handsome than the groom and I'd like to thank our ushers Steve and Andrew for keeping to that tradition.  They have both lent an air of ‘nightclub bouncer’ respectability to their roles although Steve's enthusiasm clearly got the better of him when attempting to frisk the mother of the bride.  We'll let that pass for now as long as they don't walk round at midnight saying drink-up!  Thanks to both of you.

And now for my best man; I've known Dion amazingly for 15 years now.  He's always been there, always ready with an encouraging word, to be the brunt of my jokes but more importantly usually on hand with a large bottle of red, which I would pay for! Of course I don't want to say too much at this stage as I might regret it in a few moments…or perhaps he will. Importantly I'd like to thank him for being a true friend. 

However, there is something that I need to make you aware of. Dion can sometimes be fanciful, often struggles with words of 2 or more syllables and rarely can read anything which doesn't have pictures in it. These circumstances could result in him turning into a jabbering wreck today, delivering stories believing them to be true…As I say, he is a true friend…indeed he's SPECIAL…so if you could bear with him, even join with him on his journey of make believe, I would appreciate it.

Finally, I would like to thank Nicola for agreeing to marry me and for making me the happiest man in the world.  For giving me the gift of my son and being a fantastic mother. You look absolutely gorgeous today, you took my breath away.

They say you don't marry someone you can live with – you marry the person who you can't live without.  Nicola King, I love you and look forward to growing old with you.

Ladies and gentlemen, please stand and raise your glasses to my lovely wife.  Toast: To Nicola

Now, I'm not going to stand here all afternoon and bore you anymore. That's the Best Man's job!  So, without further ado, I'd like to hand over to Dion.