Speech by Chris Nicholson

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Chris Nicholson
Speech Date: 19/07/2011 23:05:36

GOOD AFTERNOON LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, BOYS AND GIRLS. 

FOR ANYONE WHO DOESNT KNOW ME, MY NAME IS CHRIS AND I AM THE BEST MAN HERE TODAY.

FOR ALL THOSE THAT DO WELL I CAN ONLY APOLOGISE

SHOULD I APPEAR NERVOUS OR START TO SOUND LIKE G-G-G GARETH GATES PLEASE BE KIND

I WOULD JUST LIKE TO START BY THANKING EVERYONE FOR COMING AND SHARING NEIL AND SARAHS SPECIAL DAY, PARTICULARLY THOSE WHO HAVE TRAVELLED LONG DISTANCES – I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET DAY RELEASE 

ON BEHALF OF MYSELF,THE BRIDESMAIDS,AND THE USHERS, ID JUST LIKE TO THANK NEIL AND SARAH FOR ASKING US TO BE INVOLVED IN THEIR UNIQUE AND SPECIAL DAY. I KNOW THEYVE PUT A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF EFFORT INTO THE PLANNING OF THIS WEDDING, ESPECIALLY SARAH, AND I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT APART FROM THIS SPEECH, EVERYTHING ELSE WILL HAVE EXCEEDED THEIR EXPECTATIONS.

I WOULD JUST LIKE TO THANK THE BRIDESMAIDS FOR PERFORMING THEIR ROLES SUPERBLY AND I THINK YOU WILL ALL AGREE LOOK GORGEOUS ONLY TO BE ECLIPSED BY SARAH HERSELF SO A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR THE BRIDESMAIDS PLEASE

AS BEST MAN AND CHIEF MARSHALL, I TAKE GREAT CREDIT FOR THE USHERS PERFORMANCE AT THE CHURCH, AS WITHOUT MY LEADERSHIP IT COULD HAVE BEEN A COMPLETE SHAMBLES, SO A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR THE USHERS PLEASE

JUST A QUICK ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO ALL THE STAFF HERE AT GRINKLE PARK FOR ALL THEIR HARD WORK AND ENSURING TODAY WENT AS SMOOTHLY AS POSSIBLE 

I'D FINALLY JUST LIKE TO THANK PRIMARK FOR SUPPLYING THE SUITS. I'M SUPRISED JUST HOW GOOD THEY LOOK, AND ITS NICE TO SEE NEIL HAS REMAINED LOYAL TO HIS FAVOURITE CLOTHES SHOP 

ANYWAY LIKE LINFORD CHRISTIE WEARING A THONG THERES A LOT FIT IN SO LETS CRACK ON!

I WAS ASKED TO READ OUT A FEW CARDS 

DEAR SARAH, IT WAS NICE WHILE IS LASTED, BUT I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO CALL IT A DAY NOW YOUR MARRIED. LOVE FROM TIGER WOODS.

THIS ONES JUST FOR NEIL! THANKS FOR THE WEEKENDS LAZING BY THE POOL, I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU LOVE MICHAEL BARRYMORE 

AS A MARRIED MAN MYSELF I THOUGHT I WOULD GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE NEIL – 

FIRSTLY SET THE GROUND RULES AND ESTABLISH WHO IS THE BOSS, THEN DO EVERYTHING SARAH SAYS

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE SECRET TO REMEMBERING YOUR ANNIVERSARY- “FORGET IT ONCE”

HAVING A HAPPY MARRIAGE INVOLVES SOME GIVE AND TAKE- THE HUSBAND GIVES AND THE WIFE TAKES

I REMEMBER WHEN NEIL AND SARAH FIRST GOT TOGETHER, NEIL TOLD ME THAT HE TOOK SARAH TO A HOTEL AND WINED AND DINED HER, THEN THE NEXT MORNING HE ORDERED BREAKFAST, A REALLY BIG FULL ENGLISH FOR HIMSELF BUT SAID HE ORDERED SARAH JUST SOME LETTUCE, CARROT AND CUCUMBER, I WAS BAFFLED AND SAID WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, AND HE SAID TO SEE IF SHE ATE LIKE A RABBIT AS WELL 

GROWING UP NEIL WAS A SLOW STARTER AT RIVERDALE PRIMARY SCHOOL, HE WAS DIFFERENT FROM ALL THE OTHER 5 YEAR OLDS IN HIS CLASS. HE WAS 11.

HE WAS NEVER A VERY POPULAR CHILD AND I REMEMBER PAT AND BARRY, NEILS MAM AND DAD, THEY HAD AN OLD RED SETTER DOG AND HAD TO TIE A BONE ROUND NEILS NECK, JUST SO THE DOG WOULD PLAY WITH HIM.

IN MATHS ALTHOUGH VERY KEEN, NEIL HAD A DISTINCT PROBLEM WITH DIFFERENTIATING BETWEEN INCHES AND CENTIMETRES –  I THINK HE STILL HAS THE SAME PROBLEM TODAY.

SINCE LEAVING WEST REDCAR BACK IN 1992, NEIL HAS HAD NUMEROUS JOBS OVER THE YEARS, FROM WORKING IN ICELAND , THEN WORKING FOR THE COUNCIL, TO WORKING ON BUILDING SITES WITH ME. MORE RECENT HAS SEEN HIM WORKING AWAY FROM HOME SO A FEW KEYS WERE CUT INCASE SARAH NEEDED ANY HELP, BUT AS NEIL NO LONGER WORKS AWAY I JUST WONDERED IF ANYONE OUT THERE DOES HAVE A KEY IF THEY WOULD LIKE TO STEP FORWARD AND HAND IT BACK 

I WOULD JUST QUICKLY JUST LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE STAG DO OF WHICH 8 OF US WENT TO BENALMADENA SPAIN, BUT UNFORTUNATELY THE LAW OF THE STAG DOES NOT ALLOW ME TO DO THIS, AND NEILS SOLICITOR HAS ADVISED CAUTION UNTIL THE CHARGES ARE INVESTIGATED.  ONLY JOKING. NOTHING REALLY HAPPENED EXCEPT WE ALL HAD A FEW TOO MANY PINTS AND SORE HEADS, WELL I DID ANYWAY, I BLAME MIKE.

I DECIDED TO SHOW YOU ALL WHAT IT WAS LIKE SO HERE'S A LITTLE CLIP OF THE WEEKEND

SHOW DVD 

NOW ON A SERIOUS NOTE I'VE KNOWN NEIL SINCE 1983 WHEN I FIRST MOVED TO ROSEBERRY ROAD AND WEVE BEEN BEST MATES EVER SINCE, I COULD PROBABLY SHOVEL MORE DIRT ON HIM THAN A TALIBAN CAVE DIGGER, BUT I WONT. 

HE'S JUST THE SAME NOW AS HE WAS THEN APART FROM THE ODD WRINKLE OR TWO,AND A LITTLE RECEEDING THERE MATE, AND NOW YOUR MARRIED EXPECT A FEW MORE OF THEM MATE, I'M A PRIME EXAMPLE…….… NO BUT HONESTLY MARRIAGE IS THE BEST THING THATS EVER HAPPENED TO ME AND IT WILL BE FOR THE BOTH OF YOU TOO BECAUSE YOU'RE MADE FOR EACH OTHER. 

I'D LIKE TO SAY TO SARAH THAT YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL AND NEIL YOU DONT SCRUB UP TO BAD EITHER.

NEIL YOU'VE BEEN LIKE A BROTHER AND A GREAT FRIEND TO ME OVER THE YEARS AND I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU SARAH AND OLIVIA. 

STANDING HERE TODAY I FEEL HONOURED AND PROUD THAT YOU BOTH PICKED ME TO BE YOUR BEST MAN, IT'S NOT OFTEN THAT A BEST MAN CAN CALL THE BRIDE AND GROOM BEST FRIENDS BUT FORTUNATELY I CAN. 

SEPARATELY, YOU ARE 2 SPECIAL, REMARKABLE PEOPLE BUT TOGETHER YOU ARE COMPLETE

I WISH YOU BOTH ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD AND MAY YOU BRING EACH OTHER PATIENCE, UNDERSTANDING, STRENGTH AND LOVE EACH OTHER ALWAYS. 

NOW IT GIVES ME IMMENSE PLEASURE TO ASK YOU ALL TO BE UPSTANDING AND RAISE A TOAST TO THE NEW MR AND MRS SCRAFTON NEIL AND SARAH