Speech by Craig Howie

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Craig Howie
Speech Date: sep 2003

Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen, for those of you who don't know me – I'm Craig, one of Mikee's friends from his hometown of Banchory in Scotland and it is my very great privilege to be here today as Mikee's best man

I'd like to thank everyone for coming here today to celebrate the wedding of Michael and Fiona. I know only too well myself, that we have people here who have travelled from some very far off places so, again, thank you all.

Now. When I asked our friends back home for some advice on the speech, they said a good speech should be like a mini skirt. I of course was confused until they explained that it should be short enough to be interesting but long enough to cover the essentials.

I must admit though to being a little nervous. In fact, this certainly isn't the first time today that I have stood up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand.

And Although Michael and I parted company three years ago when he left for Australia, we have kept in touch and now as a result of this I find myself standing in front of you all…..the wonders of email……but we will come to that later…….…

But on to the man in question..

I first met Mikee about 7 years ago, he was the one with the pint in his hand and I was..… well to be honest the other guy with a pint in his hand. Its fair to say that during our friendship we did spend a fair amount of time in a certain drinking establishment pondering the woes of life, and playing…… to be honest Mikee (look round to Mikee) bloody awful darts..!!! It was a real shock when I was interned into the Pub Darts Team where our friendship grew every Wednesday.

Unfortunately, our team points rarely did, so more often than not we would console ourselves with a few pints, and then a few more… Thursday mornings at my work were never pretty……
…
There are many funny stories from our nights out over the years, but out of respect for Mikee on this big day I'm not going to tell them………..all

Suffice to say that I never found the magic ingredient that made him collapse after 3 pints.

Over the years that we have known each other there have been many things we have taken a joint interest in. As you know darts, being one of them, another being golf. I was never very good nor skilful at this much to Mikees amusement.., Michael's parents kindly took me under their wing and invested some of their evenings in an attempt to hone my skills, sadly this was a bad investment. The 1st tee at Torphins golf club will never be the same again, although I am informed that the divots are providing a nice paddling pool in the summer..

We even took a passing interest in cars together, he overtook me…..I overtook him……

Mikee and Fiona

I mentioned the wonders of email earlier , and back in 1999 it was truly wondrous as this is what brought Mikee and Fiona together, . I'm sure Mikee must have sent a picture of Brad Pitt to Fiona claiming it was him because after only a couple of months of emailing each other Fiona made the long trip across to the UK to see Mikee.., it was either that or as Mikee likes to put it……..love at first type..Im sorry Mikee but that's terrible…!!!!

They spent the Millennium together and then Fiona left for Oz. No sooner had she left then Mikee was making plans to go over to Oz himself, he was love struck, so a couple of months later, Mikee flew over to Oz to see Fiona, had a great time, came back one month later, gave up his job, sold his car and his beloved bike and emigrated over to Australia, I was surprised by this for two reasons ,

1: Fiona actually wanted him to stay with her …!!

And 2: The Government was letting him back into the country..

Of course when Mikee left for Australia there were two very upset people in his hometown…………I know what your thinking…his mum and dad, but no I think they went on a golfing holiday to celebrate…

The two people I am talking about is myself, for I had lost a drinking partner and Gordon the landlord of our local pub: He had lost half his profits!!!!

Now almost 3 years later here we are….…

They say that life's a lottery – and if anybody could have put a dollar…or a pound! on two people crossing paths living thousands of miles apart, meeting up and falling in love, I thought that the odds would be very high. Mikee, as we discussed, life is a lottery, and you have certainly won your jackpot today.
Fiona, your lottery hasn't come up yet, so we've all chipped in and bought you a ticket for today's draw!

Now – Tradition dictates…that at this juncture…I should divulge some words of wisdom to aid the newly married couple in their future life together……but I feel it would be more appropriate just to offer Mikee a useful piece of advice:

The best way to remember your anniversary is to forget….once

And here is something for Fiona to consider…..…

It has been said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership.

Anyone who believes this…..knows very little about women…..or fractions.

I'd also just like to say that Mikee is a very lucky man, to be marrying Fiona today. She deserves a good husband, and Mikee, you should thank God that you got her before she found one.

On a more serious note; Mikee, we have had some excellent times together and I know that we will continue to do so in the future. You are a great friend, and it is a true honour to be your best man.

And now my final few words to Mikee and Fiona: may your love be modern
enough to survive the times but old fashioned enough to last forever.
Ladies and Gentlemen,, the new Mr and Mrs Young, the Bride
and Groom!