Speech by Damon Carbo

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Damon Carbo
Speech Date: Aug 1999
As I was trying to write this speech, my own sweetheart, whom I love dearly, would not stop bothering me. It's great to be in love. Let that be a lesson to everyone.

Since I'm not much of a speechwriter, and I live in the technology age, of course I did what EVERYONE else is doing. I went online and I found a really nice speech from a past wedding. So I've decided to read it and substitute the names. Forgive me if my reading is a bit choppy. I've never taken a public speaking class. So here it goes…

… To my brother…JOE.… and his lovely new wife… SUSAN…, I hope this day has been the best of both your lives …excepting only the future birth of little VINCENZO Jr.

JOE…, I still can't believe that you survived the downing of your bomber over fascist Italy. At least it brought you home early and now I'm sure you can get your old job back at the warehouse. It's a lot better now. The smell isn't as bad anymore. They threw in some windows. You can't see out of them but at least they get rid of some of the smell. I'm sure you'll love it.

I think I can tell you now that while you were gone, we had a few problems with TOUGH NICKY from around the corner. He was trying to come onto your girl but don't worry. Me and the boys paid a visit to TOUGH NICKY one night and… well let's just say, he ain't so TOUGH no more.

SUSAN … I'm really happy you're in the family now because I love your lasagna and I can't wait to have it on the holidays. I don't know if …JOE… told you, but our family tradition is that the most recently wedded couple has to invite the whole family over for the holidays. I hope you can fit 46 people into that lovely apartment you guys got in my mother's basement.

Anyway, I just want to wish the best to the both of you and I know you'll have a great time on your honeymoon this weekend in beautiful downtown HOBOKEN.
But …JOE… you better not be late to work on Monday.

Seriously though, I'd like to welcome Susan to the family. I'll be happy to call her my sister in law and of course if you'd like to do my laundry, I have no problem with that. My best wishes to you.

Joe, you are my brother………
and there is nothing I can do about that. Just kidding. Of course my best wishes also go to you. Don't touch my laundry.

Finally I'd like to offer a toast to the happiness, love, devotion, and of course kids of Joe and Susan's marriage. Thank you.