Speech by Dan Cooper

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Dan Cooper
Speech Date: 17/06/2013 18:07:48

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, I think that covers everyone. I hope everyone is enjoying this very special day so far.

Thank you all for making the journey here today, to help celebrate this wonderful occasion.

I would like to echo what has already been said and compliment our beautiful bride. I must say that Jayde looks absolutely stunning today. Gaz is one very lucky man. Surprisingly, Gaz has scrubbed up quite well himself, even if he did copy my outfit…

Can I just give a special mention to our bridesmaids for helping to get Jayde here today?  I am reliably informed that when she woke up this morning and realized she was marrying Gaz she put up a struggle so well done girls…  You all look fantastic

I would also like to thank both sets of parents, who have helped out enormously to make today possible, without you we would have probably been sitting in the tree right now!

Let us not forget our Ushers for the day, Luke and Liam.  I know Gaz was worried about them not being up to such an important task, however, I am sure you all agree they more than excelled there selves at pointing at chairs today…  good work lads

For those of you who don't know me, my name is dan and for those of you that do I apologise!

It's an honour to be asked best man. And it is a great honour, but in all honesty I am a little nervous doing this, but I feel a bit comforted by the fact I have actually rehearsed this speech in front of a live audience at Jayde's place of work,  … I think it went really well, they all pissed themselves anyway.

so What can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings, a man who is now quickly rising to the very top of his profession based solely on hard work, graft,  and the willpower to push on where others have fallen. A man who is beginning to distinguish himself at the very highest level amongst his peers, and where none can say a bad word against him?

But enough about me, what I`m really here for this afternoon is to talk about Gareth fare

When Gaz asked me to be his best man, naturally I had many questions. What had I done to deserve such an honour?  Who had dropped out? Could I turn the job down and still expect an invitation to stuff myself and get drunk at his expense?

In the end, having accepted the role, I'm pretty happy with the way things went today. From a best man's perspective, everything went smoothly.

For starters, I got him to the church on time, He also arrived sober,

An achievement which shouldn't be underestimated with his track record…

And most importantly in this time of economic uncertainty, I successfully resisted the urge to post the wedding rings to Cash for Gold and do a runner. So well done me…

Gaz is equally impressed, he told me earlier I have done that good of a job I have got the gig for his next wedding, which was nice of him…

As you all know Gaz loves a drink!

When birthdays come along its only right you have to do a dirty pint! You don't want to but you have to. For those of you that don't know what a dirty pint is..… It's a drink full of every single mixer you can think of and then you have to get it down you straight away. Anyway way. Were all in Ayia Napa at the first bar just getting a taste for it, when Gaz calls over the bar rep. he explains that it's one of our birthdays (it wasn't) and asked for the dirtiest drink they could make. The bar rep was all over the idea. He brings the drink over with a bucket and gives it to Gaz! He's only gone and told him it was his birthday! the reps told him he's got 2 minutes to down it! With no hesitation it's gone within 3 seconds! At this point Gaz is on cloud nine..… Until reality hits. Gaz does what Gaz does best! He throws it all back up. Jokingly the rep says I'll give you 100 euros to have 2 sips of the sick! Gas's exact reply was ‘ 2 sips!? Is that it? I'll do it all for 100!’ He was gutted the rep only had ten euros.

Another thing that some of you probably already know is that Gaz has always been good at sports. He was always signed up for a football team. Hold on.… Gaz did you write this……..… But no seriously I remember this one game. It was neck and neck. The balls come into the box. Gaz rises like a salmon, top corner!! An absolute bullet. We all just stood there amazed. Even the away fans were clapping. It was by far the best own goal I've ever seen! So to reiterate… Gaz is s*** at sports.

I could go on all day with stories about Gaz but I'm not going to keep you any longer. I know Gaz is dying to buy us all a drink at the bar

On a serious note and joking apart, words cannot express how happy I am that you have finally tied the knot today. I know, and I am sure everybody else here would agree with me, Gaz you could not have made a better choice in Jayde.

For me, as I said earlier, it has been a great honour to be your Best Man today. I have spent the last month worrying about this speech but the point of it only came to me yesterday and that is:

Nobody else could possibly stand where I am right now and feel more proud and honoured than me to be able to represent you on this – the most important day of your life.

Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding Raise your glasses to love to laughter to a happy ever after we give you Mr and Mrs Fare!