Speech by Dan Leonard

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Dan Leonard
Speech Date: Jul 2001
In the last few years it seems to have become tradition to get married miles from where the bride and groom live and therefore where most of their friends live.

I'd like to thank everybody on behalf of the bride and groom for sharing their wedding day, particularly those who have travelled long distances.

On behalf of the brides maids I would like to thank Justin for his kind words.
Justin
I don't know if Justin was nervous this morning, but I found one of these in the toilet [PRODUCE BRICK]

On a serious note for two seconds, Justin, you have been an excellent mate over the years, and it has been an honour to be your Best Man. Just don't ask me to do it again!
8th June

1824: A "washing machine" is patented by Noah Cushing of Quebec.
1869: Ives McGaffey of Chicago patents a mechanical vacuum cleaner.

1972
· Liam Gallagher (Oasis) is born
· The VW Beetle becomes the biggest selling car ever
· Mark Spitz wins 7 Gold medals for swimming
· The pocket calculator is invented by Texas Instruments
· The Godfather film is released
· Mr Men books first published

Justin and I have been through a whole lot together, but thankfully, none of them are here tonight.

Mr Mischief
One winter he decided it might be a good idea to hurl snowballs at passing vehicles on the road that ran past his estate. i thought this was a top idea so we began lobbing snow at passing motorists who found it mildly amusing. Then there was a large gap between the last vehicle and the next so we stood there chatting (probably singing one of his songs) until the next vehicle came along, a duration of around 10 minutes. During this 10 minutes Just had been packing this snowball in his huge gloves (the snowball was now solid ice) and the next victim appeared … a large Bedford Transit van. "Watch this mate !" he cries and launches this snow (ice) ball at the side of the van … the side of the van collapses … The driver stops at the top of the road and yells at us … we run away … very fast.

Mr Greedy
Justin is a man who enjoys his food. This must explain why so many of his lunches last several hours and leave him tired and unable to move easily.

Mr Happy
Well, there can be no denying that it is rare to find Justin actually unhappy although I have to say that he can do a good impression.

When he is happy Justin has always had a habit of singing little songs that he likes to make up. An example of one of these childhood songs went as follows:

Snakpot
Snakpot
You put the snack before the pot….… yeah!

Mr Uppity
Bit of a snob is Mr Uppity. Let us never forget that the sophisticated Justin that now lives in Wimbledon Park started out life as an Essex boy!!!! [WHITE SOCKS]
TA
Justin and I met serving together in the Territorial Army. In that time we have shared many experiences. In line with the Mr Men theme:
Mr Impossible
An unlikely impossible act. Survival roll with ice cream at Fort Tregantle

Mr Nonsense
Despite his elevated rank very little of Justins work in the TA is productive. He is regularly heard to indulge in his songs and catch phrases
Angela
The name Angela is derived from the word angel as you might expect. The word Justin means exactly what it says ‘Just in’

It comes as no surprise that Justin chose a bride with such strong Irish connections. Justin has so much Guiness running in his veins that he could probably claim honorary citizenship.

Justin, Angela is a lovely woman and deserves a good husband. Thank God you married her before she found one. Seriously though, Justin, you are a lucky groom, you have got Angela, who is beautiful, intelligent, warm, funny,
loving, and caring. Angela, you have got……well …Justin.

Stag weekend
Moving on to the stag weekend. This was held two weeks ago in Hereford as I, not Justin, needed the time to recover.

Justin bravely overcame a set of rigorous challenges that were set him. Despite boasting that he completed them all there was one he didn't manage.
Cards
I have been given some cards to read out, so hear are a couple of them

· Justin, we could have been so good together. – That one is from Jordan.
· Justin, we could have been so good together. – That one is from Michael Barrymore

Caterers

Toast
So can you please be upstanding and make a final toast to the future happiness of the bride and groom.

"Here's to marriage, that happy estate that resembles a pair of scissors: ‘So joined that they cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet punishing anyone who comes between them.’"

To Justin and Angela Brewster.