Speech by Dan Mugridge
I''d be happy for you to use my speech as an example if it helps It''s quite long, I timed it at 12 minutes in rehearsal - in reality I couldn''t tell you - it went so quick. Regards
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Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Dan Mugridge
Speech Date: Jun2007
Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, my name is Dan and today I am <groom>'s Best Man.
I've been told the best way to deal with the nerves I'm suffering today, is to think of the applause I'll get at the end of my speech and all the drinks everyone will want to buy me – so if you could all bare those two things in mind, that would be a great help – and I'll see you at the bar later.
I expect you are all very keen to get started with dinner so like the groom – I'll keep this short.
I would like to start by thanking <groom> for his kind words to the bridesmaid, Xxxxx, and I would also like to echo his sentiments – Xxxxx not only do you look fantastic but you've done a superb job in making <bride>'s big day so special.
I would also like to say how beautiful the bride looks today, <groom> is a very lucky man.
I should also thank <groom> on behalf of the ushers for his generous gifts cufflinks and kind words. I'd also like to offer my own thanks to the ushers who have performed their tasks admirably and also succeeded in their most important challenge – which was to turn up sober – so well done lads – not long now and you can go to the bar.
When <groom> asked me to be his best man I can honestly say I was surprised. – Immediately, a 1,000 polite ways to say ‘No’ flashed through my mind. In my panic, I picked the first thought excuse that came to me and said ‘of course mate, I'd love to’.
Seriously though – I would also like to thank <groom> for allowing me the honour of being his best man. I hope that I can say a few things that will go some way towards repaying you for the faith you have shown me in asking me to play such an important role in your big day.
Although I've known <groom> since we were 11, it does have to be said, however, that we haven't always been best of friends. But I can still recall the day we found the common interests that would turn us from friends into best mates. It was a cold and drizzly morning in early February, 1996, when I got chatting to <groom> and his Mum outside Fratton Park, whilst we were all waiting for the Portsmouth Supporters Club coach to take us to watch our beloved football team away at Millwall.
Now, I have to admit, my first thought was – aren't you a bit old to be going to football with your Mum? But for those of you that don't know – Millwall is a pretty scary place and there were times that afternoon when I wished I had my Mum to hold my hand too.
It was when we returned home, to the relative safety of Petersfield, <groom> and I went for a beer and our friendship pretty much grew from there. From that point it was clear we would spend the rest of our teenage years as drinking buddies, fiercely debating every subject from what our ideal girlfriend would look like to why we had no chance of meeting her……
And that, in a nutshell, is how I came to be stood here today, shaking like a leaf, wishing I'd gone to Millwall on the train……
It's fair to say from then on, our friendship was based on a certain amount of friendly rivalry, so I must admit it's a great relief today, that <groom> has finally admitted in public, that I am the best man.
But for those of you who don't know him, <groom> could be described as funny, charming and romantic….and perhaps one day he will be.
However, <groom> truly is one of life's winners.
And he's a true winner today, marrying <bride> who's not only intelligent, caring, fun, sensitive and beautiful but she's prepared to accept <groom>, warts and all, into her life.
She's entered into a life-long commitment with <groom>, despite his shocking cd collection, that includes Rolf Harris Greatest Hits and The Best of Chas n Dave.
<bride> deserves to have the perfect husband, and luckily for <groom> she married him before she found one.
And this would be the point in the speech where I share with you a few of the Groom's mildly embarrassing – drunken misdemeanours. But if I did – I'd be at the wrong wedding. Today I am at the wedding of <groom> S – the Captain Sensible of a night out.
I do recall an incident one New Year's Eve. Under the influence of the customary celebratory ales, and having just purchased yet another – <groom> stumbled backwards, completely of his own accord, landing smack on his backside.
<groom>'s repost to this incident – was that such was his love of beer – and his skill in the art of falling over – he managed not to spill a single drop of his freshly bought pint. Fair play!
Obviously I'd love to now tell you about how he got up – sunk his pint in celebration at the lack of spillage – and went on to bring chaos to the night – and embarrassment to himself. But this is <groom> S I'm talking about……and alas, none of this could ever be true!
Instead he put his pint on the bar, acknowledging he had had enough ale for one night – and he calmly walked home to be tucked up in bed before midnight on New Year's Eve.
It's almost as if he's lived his life, simply to get off lightly at this very moment……
In fact, even after extensive research grilling <groom>'s friends and family for some comedy revelations, we were only able to uncover one act where <groom>'s common sense seemed to desert him, and he was aged 13.
Despite being born in Oxford, one of the most bicycle orientated cities in the world, <groom> can't ride a bike. There's no shame in that, of course, I can't swim for example.
In view of this obvious issue, what possessed <groom> to go on a school cycling holiday to France – is beyond me.
But like all things that don't come naturally to <groom> – to his credit – he was determined to learn. And, learn he did – after some intense practice he was finally able to get from A to B on a bike – except for one minor detail – he couldn't turn left.
So as <groom> and his classmates set off on their first excursion on French soil – it wasn't long before the inevitable happened and <groom> fell off attempting to turn left.
Despite suffering only a bruised ego, <groom> spent the rest of the trip travelling in the support minibus. Aaah!
I know <groom> likes the movies and if his life were to be summed up as a film it's fair to say ‘Easy Rider’ would not be it……but his soundtrack would certainly be ‘Born to be mild!
Funnily enough, that wasn't the only time in <groom>'s life that he's had trouble turning left as he once returned home from a Socialist Workers Party conference in London looking very sheepish indeed and asking his Mum to shield his phone calls for the next two weeks.
I shall spare you the gory details on that one – but you get the gist of what I'm trying to say – <groom> is a very sound, level headed and honest man.
He's not a gambler or a chancer. <groom> will give <bride> security, stability and commitment and in that respect I don't think <bride> could have found a better man to be her husband.
Now I have a confession to make. Up until, Wednesday of this week, my speech was rammed packed of witty one-liners about the groom that I had ripped off the internet.
It wasn't until I came to rehearse, in front of a packed sofa, that I realised I just didn't have it in me to produce someone else's work as my own.
So I sat up all night thinking of original ways I could describe the Groom to those of you that don't know him – and provide some further insight for those of you that do.
And my inspiration eventually came from my girlfriend's Heat Magazine. I decided to rack my brains and draw up a list of famous people whose personalities best match that of <groom>'s…..and here's the list..…
Firstly I thought of <groom>'s favourite England midfielder Stuart Downing…..because like Stuart, <groom>'s strictly left wing!
Next I thought of David Beckham, because <groom> plays a lot of football. But then I thought no – better still – Victoria Beckham, because like Victoria, <groom>'s other half is the one with all the talent.
Next I thought Stephen Hawking – because <groom> is a very clever man and has just gone on to complete his PHD and become a Doctor. For that I have nothing but respect for <groom>.
Then I thought Steven Hawking again – because after 10 years living in Wales, <groom>'s accent isn't quite what it should be.
And lastly, I came up with Adr<groom> Mole – No not because <groom>'s spotty and wears glasses but because like Adr<groom> to Pandora – <groom> is hopelessly in love with <bride>.
One of my other duties as best man is to read out some cards from friends and family who were unfortunately unable to attend.
This next card reads: Congratulations, on your wedding day, see you next season, from all your friends at the South Wales Branch of the Southampton Supporter's Club..…
In all seriousness, <groom> has always been the one friend that was there for me, always the one that I turned to in an hour of need.
I've lost count of the number of times <groom>'s been there to pick up the pieces and bail me out of my youthful misadventures. He's been a true and loyal friend in every sense of the word.
And it is therefore with 100% confidence that I can assure his wife <bride> that she has just married a man who will always stand by her.
I think you'll all agree, <groom> and <bride> make a perfect couple and the perfect day they've had so far is no more than they deserve.
They've been each other's rock through both their good times and their not so good times. They are both ambitious and successful people who are heading in the right direction in life and it's great to see them looking so happy together.
<bride> looks one in a million today – and <groom> looks like he's won the lottery.
Not being married myself I can't offer you any advice from experience but I have it on good authority the best way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget it once.
Oh and obviously you will need to improve your domestic skills and I can strongly recommend you locate that wet area of the kitchen known as the sink and use it – I'm sure <bride> will love you all the more for it.
<groom> – It's been an honour and privilege to act as your best man today and I hope one day you will return the favour for me…..because, let's face it, I have even less friends than you do.
On behalf of the bride and groom I would like to thank everyone, once again, for coming, particularly those who have travelled long distances to share in their special occasion.
So, if you'll all please stand, I'm going to end now with a toast the newlyweds..…
May your marriage be one of life's happily ever afters.…
To the happy couple…..<groom> and <bride>……..
