Speech by Danny H

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Danny H
Speech Date: 03/09/2012 23:29:16

BEST MAN SPEECH OPENING                       

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Thank you all for coming here today for this very special occasion. I would like to take this opportunity to say what a fantastic day it's been, a lovely ceremony and – you look absolutely stunning. Congratulations to the both of you it's been an emotional day, even the cake is in tears

So…..and ……you've finally got married, for better or for worse, which is quite appropriate as Phil couldn't have done any better and Kim couldn't have done any worse.

For those of you who don't know me I'm …… and have the great honour of been Phil's best man. I appreciate that I am just one of many equally suitable close friends that he could have chosen so thank you.

As a rule of thumb I was told the best man speech should be the same amount time as the grooms makes love so thank you ladies and gentleman that's me.

Me and …… met on the first day of school and we've been friends ever since, hes been brilliant to grow up with and have many good memories of been with him for those of you who don't know ……as well as I do I will give you a brief insight into his life. He's had a vast range of job titles ranging from  paper boy, dog handler in the army to his most recent achievement of been a amateur stuntman I say the later has he has a total of 6 car crashes to his name, so ladies and gentleman if you see this man on the road keep well clear although he's adamant none of them are is fault I would just say very unlucky, then all is good luck came at once when he met k……and I knew from the start that this fine lady was the one for him as id never seen him so happy in life.

When …..asked me to be best man my initial thoughts was yes stag do organising, initially struggling for a theme for the special weekend then after a little brainstorming looked at the numbers, plus seven then it hit me snow white and the seven dwarfs,3 things alarmed me that weekend, firstly the precision and accuracy he placed on his lipstick and red cheeks and moaning at me because I had got him cheap lippy how would a real man know the difference ?? Secondly was how comfortable he was in the dress, white stockings and red bally dancing shoes  he was so comfortable  he ended up without any promoting to skip down the main street of Cardiff and thirdly was how good I thought he looked in the outfit so maybe that's telling me I have some issues ,just to show you what I mean here is a pic…………then come the speech prep this as got to be one of the most stressful things I have done ,what to put in what not to put in ,how long should it be ,who to thank etc etc , then looking on the internet I found 3 main roles that the best man carries out on the day of the wedding,  firstly is to give him moral support(last night as a single man), secondly make sure he turns up to the wedding on time and finally make sure he turns out looking good(turn and look at him) well 2 out of 3 isn't bad I'm not a miracle worker.

THANKS

I would also like to thank the hosts today Phil and Kim on behalf of the guests, for inviting us to this excellent wedding and reception…and …..for everything you have done without you 2 this day wouldn't be possible!

On behalf of the bride and groom I would like to thank you all for your attendance today in celebration of their marriage. The bridesmaids are looking amazing as well and have done a great job in helping ….look as beautiful as she does. So here's a toast to say thanks to the bridesmaids for doing such a wonderful job.

They are of course only outshone by…..who I think you'll all agree looks absolutely stunning and Im sure you all will agree that ..… is massively punching above his weight

Congratulate couple

I couldn't imagine a better couple and if we can all be as happy as you two are now then we would have all accomplished something very special in life

……you are truly an amazing woman its been brilliant getting to know you over the years and have so many funny memories you have a great sense of humour and you've shown this today by marrying ….., I couldn't wish for a better person for …..to be with and I'm looking forward to seeing your marriage grow stronger and stronger in the future.

….…            yes you've hit jackpot well done

Funnys

Right onto …., knowing him for such a long time I have many stories on him but when I think about him things there are 2 main story's that pop into my head .we lived in the same cul de sac and there was a main bus route that run through our estate and there was this bus driver who because it was summer had the front side doors open to obviously keep him cool, … been the …… he his decided he was going to introduce mr bus driver with a soggy water melon!!!!! So I provided the decoy to slow him down as he approached the corner of our street and to step out onto road to slow him down and as I did this Phil appeared from behind a parked car armed with watermelon and threw it at the bus driver and got bulls eye and hit him on the head and covered him in water melon, The driver slammed on the brakes stopped in the centre of the road with a bus full of passengers and chased us for about 5 minutes and luckily we managed to escape the driver. And finally was after a heavy night at the frontier when we was 18 and ..… been a typical Yorkshire man doesn't like to part with his money and came up with the idea of instead of buying a kebab we should go to my mums and cook some chips , so of to mums we went in the taxi ,FRYER on and been a little drunk our perception of time was a little bit affected, so we waited what we thought was 5 minutes fat bubbling away and Phil placed the FROZEN chips straight Into the fryer and a massive fireball was released and burnt all my mums kitchen roof so we decided to cover our tracks and try paint the roof back to its original colour but failed miserably so sorry mum I apologise again.

All jokes aside …..I couldn't of wished for a better friend in fact your more like a brother to me remember the time mum fell ill and you and your family took me in and looked after me, then when I passed my …………..I told him my mum couldn't make it down to watch it as she couldn't drive so Phil organized it for his dad to bring her down so if it wouldn't of been for him she wouldn't of seen…..… and also the amount of times you have thrown me in a taxi when I've been to drunk to speak and getting me home, we've had some excellent times together and I know will have many more to come.

Messages

I would now like to read a few of the cards that..… and .… have received.

I will place all the cards on the table, so that anybody who wishes to can look through them later.

The first one is addressed to …..;—and it's from somebody who calls themselves her Guardian Angel.–

When you were a baby, your mother put you to bed with a dummy;–Tonight, she's doing it again.—

My dearest ….… I miss your strong arms, your tender loving ways, the way you whisper sweet nothings in my ear.—I realise I am a loser in love, but I will think of you always as I fall asleep at night. Love forever; big jim

p.s your gold membership at the blue dolphin needs renewing

last card is from …..parents and it's a blank cheque for you two so you can jet off on your honeymoon

Final toast

Before I offer the final toast to … and … id like to leave you all with one thought; You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry someone you cant live without and in this case I'm sure everyone sat here today will totally agree; wishing you both a lifetime of happiness and love, TOAST .… and …..