Speech by Darren Allseybrook

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Darren Allseybrook
Speech Date: Sep 2008
Before I start, I was once told that when I ever had to perform in front of an audience, to ease any nerves, try and imagine the audience naked..

Fornication….for an occasion such as this its best to keep the speech short

Open speech out……

1. Good afternoon ladies and gentleman

2. Firstly I'd like to congratulate Glyn on a truly magnificent speech.
I always knew it would be difficult to follow one of your speeches, and I was right …I could hardly follow a word of it!

3. Before I carry on may I just say what a lovely service it was, very moving, even the cake was in tiers. Now the jokes don””t get any better so you might as well laugh now.

4. For those who don't know me, I””m Glyn's brother Darren and I'm the best man. Something I have been telling Glyn for years but he just wouldn't accept it.

5. It's a real honour to be Glyn's best man, As well as slightly daunting …But he””s assured me, That if I do a good job today he””ll let me be the best man at his next wedding !!

6. Before I undertake the customary duty of giving Glyn an uncomfortable few minutes, it is part of the official duty of the best man to thank Glyn on behalf of the bridesmaids”” Kelly, Maisey, Julie and Claire for his kind words and for having them play a part of this really special day, indeed they are only eclipsed by Dawn herself, who, I'm sure you'll all agree looks absolutely stunning.

7. Though it is a great honour to be Glyn's best man, speech writing isn't one of my talents, so I turned to the internet for help.
After a couple of hours searching, I came across some pretty good stuff, but then I remembered, im supposed to be looking for speeches. After I got rid of all the pop up windows, which took a while I did find a few really good speeches on the web, but unfortunately, none of them were about a couple called Glyn and Dawn, so in the end I had to rely on myself, I thought a good place to start was to ask what everyone else was asking, how did Glyn manage to get such a girl like Dawn, she's beautiful, charming, smart, loving and very caring and she looks absolutely amazing today.

8. She deserves a good husband,….unfortunately, Glyn got there before she had a chance.

9. Glyn was always a slow starter, in infant school he was a bit different from all the other 5 year olds……..he was 12

10. One of Glyns favourite past times is darts, and when we were younger we always played to see who washed the dishes I don””t know if you””ve noticed Dawn but hasn””t Glyn got incredibly soft hands? But seriously Glyn, you””ve hit the bull””s eye with Dawn.

11. Well I feel at this point that it””s my duty to offer a small piece of advice to the groom, and Glyn will be pleased to know that a successful marriage can be compared to football.
1 – Ensure you””re fully committed every week
2 – Make sure you score every Saturday
3 – Make sure you change ends at half time
4 – Don””t put your tackle in too hard or you might injure yourself
5 – No tackling from behind. Especially on your wedding night.

12. I thought id finish with a very famous quote, Glyn, from a famous philosopher She loves you ..y e a h y e a h y e a h, she loves you ….yeah yeah yeah, and with love like that you know you should be glad.

13. I would like to thank everyone here for sharing in this unique and special day, particularly those who have travelled long distances.
I know that I will never forget it.

14. On behalf of myself I wish that you had all stayed at home, because things would have been a lot easier for me.

15. Finally it gives me great pleasure to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses to Glyn and Dawn.
I am sure everyone here today would like to wish them both good health, happiness and a wonderful life together.

16. May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old-
fashioned enough to last forever.

17. Mr and Mrs Allseybrook