Speech by Darren Hambelton

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Darren Hambelton
Speech Date: oct 2003
For those who don't know me, my name is Darren, Russell's brother and the best man. I would like to start by thanking everyone on behalf of the bride and groom for being here and sharing their special day. Personally I wish you'd all stayed at home and my day a lot less nerve wrecking.

I've done lots of research about what my speech should involve and most say I should give Becky's parents and those who don't know Russell and incite into his past, a brief summary of the stag night and explain how the happy couple met, and not through fear of wrecking the marriage here goes.

Although a year apart me and Russell always attended the same schools, though to look at him now some might say that's where he should still be, He was generally well behaved but occasionally his mouth would get him into trouble, he has the habit of speaking before he thinks, but I think Becky will soon put a stop to that. While at school me and Russell obtained a part time job at the same supermarket, this was obviously a sign of things to come because while I would service customers, Russell would stack fruit and veg, So you see both Russell and Becky have experience in picking a right lemon!.

It was about this time that the happy couple first met through school and a mutual friend at Tesco, but nothing really sparked until his 18th birthday party. All of his friends were invited, but as we couldn't fill a hall with 4 people I had to invite some of mine. The night went well until 4 bottles of Hooch and a Babycham become too much for Russell and he passed out. He was helped to the toilet by me and our dad so that he could be sick, something he could not perform on his own. At this point Becky insisted on being allowed into the toilet to look after him, I wondered how he had managed to woo this girl by repeatedly vomiting and not being able to control his own bodily functions. But now you can see how much Becky enjoys looking after babies. I've also read Russell's personal diary which contains all his personal sex secrets, it would be unfair of me to reveal those today but I'll be at the bar later bidding starts at 1 lager.

And now onto our stag night a quiet affair (no, perhaps that not an appropriate word to use today), Anyway Russell was fully well behaved, he didn't kiss any women and he definitely didn't grope any strippers. Another Hooch and Babycham night for Rusty who was definitely drunk by the time he was saying what a great best man I was.

If I could just ask Russell and Becky to stand for a moment. "Becky if you could place your hand on the table in front of you and Russell if you could place your hand on hers. Ok, thank you both I just wanted to make sure Russell had the upper hand just once in this marriage.

Its now time for me to offer brother some wedding advice. I think its important to establish the ground rules early in a marriage, my mate tried to. Just as soon as they'd arrived in the bridal suite, he took his trousers off, tossed then to his bride and said, "Put em’ on!" his new wife gave him a funny look but she put them on and said, "well?" he said, "That my dear, is the first and last time you wear the trouser in this marriage". She took his trousers off, pulled off her knickers and threw them at him and said, "Put THEM on!" he said, "I'll never get into them! she said "no, and until you change your attitude, sweetheart, you want!".

In all seriousness I wish Russell and Becky all the happiness in the world, if they ever have any doubts as to why they got married they need look no further than their son Lewis, Who you'll all agree is the best looking young man in the world.

So ladies and Gentlemen if you can be upstanding and join me in a toast to the bride and groom……….Russell and Rebecca!!!