Speech by Darren Moss

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Darren Moss
Speech Date: Aug2007
Hello, for those of you who don't know me, my name's Darren. When Damo asked me to be best man Phil was really pleased! There have been desperate moments when writing this speech, I can tell you.

It's been a wonderful day so far and everything has gone to plan – UNTIL NOW!

It's well known that I can talk and couldn't help but notice that there is a bet on the length of my speech – well just to let you know that I have backed myself at 2 hours 36 minutes and the kitty is at about 㿀0 so I must apologise in advance and ask you to get comfortable!

Seriously for a second, I'd like to start by congratulating Mr &amp Mrs Page – the happy couple. I'm sure everyone here has been lucky enough to spend time in their company knows what a great pair they are and how they perfectly complement each other. I think you'll agree they've found a fantastic venue here.

In fact Wiston House was built in the 16th Century and had many famous visitors. In the corner of the church there is an underground escape passage – you may have noticed Damo glancing towards it during the ceremony!

At this point it is customary for me to thank Damo on behalf of the Bridesmaid Ella and her brilliant hearing dog Lily. With this in mind I would like to thank him for his kind words and generous gift. I think you will agree they completed their main job admirably, which was getting Mizz here on time.

For today I have done quite a bit of research towards this speech! I decided to use the internet and after a while I found some really good stuff…unfortunately it had nothing to do with being a best man!

However I did discover that a best man speech should be like a woman's skirt – short enough to be interesting but long enough to cover the essentials. I also found a theory – “Always a bridesmaid never a bride” -and I wondered if it was going to be in Damo's case – “Always the Page boy PAUSE never the groom”. However he proved me wrong and I think you will all agree he's made a fantastic groom today.

I thought it was a good idea to ask around to see what some of his friends and family would say about him. His colleagues at Lloyds TSB described him as a 1st class banker – tho’ I may have misheard them. Some other words you could use are charming, handsome, intelligent, entertaining – but nobody said those so I won't use them. He was once described as arrogant, conceited , insensitive and selfish – and lets face it if anyone would know him it would be his mum!

I met Damo at Guildford College and he's been great friend over the last 18 years. Our friendship has been a bit of a comedy with me being the short fat one and him the sensible straight one – although we've had our doubts! I've watched him grow from a cheeky, pastey, freckly, hairy teenager to a cheeky, pastey, freckly balding adult. SEE ENVELOPE 1.

Damo was born 21 May and shares his birthday with the 70’s showman Leo Sayer and of all people Mr T at this point it may have been funny to do a Mr T impression but your not getting one. It was in 1973 and also the year super group Showaddywaddy formed. Infact he's been a huge Showaddywaddy fan since the age of 3 when his mum bought him his 1st record, he regularly played ‘Under the Moon of Love’ at full blast annoying his neighbours and brother. This will explain why at his recent Stag do we dressed him as the lead singer. PLEASE OPEN ENVELOPE 2. The jacket shown was actually Damo's own and I'd like to thank Mel for only very slightly adjusting this jacket for the event.

Damo and I were on a travel course when we met in 1989 and on day 1 I looked around the room I was late as usual and saw 30 girls and 2 guys. I had to make a quick decision…should I befriend the camp looking one or the old one? I picked Damo! You're making your own jokes up now!.…

During our course Damo romanced some of the girls without success. The highlight of the course was a residential trip to Spain in January 1990.This would give us quality time with the girls. We discovered that we were to be the girls chaperones, they could only go out on the town with one of us. It was heaven. One night we were out and we found ourselves judging a glamorous granny contest, when we got back to our room we were in a confident mood so we spent the whole night judging each and every girl on the course. It took hours but we felt we were in with a chance the next day of making a move on one or two of them. HOW WRONG WE WERE! All I can say is that we must have been quite loud or the hotel walls were paper-thin, as at breakfast each girl confronted us with our comments…it was a long flight home!

We finally completed our course, however, following this reaction it was to be a long time until Damo got over the events of 1990 – no not England losing to Germany on penalties. A barren spell was to commence in his lovelife. In fact it wasn't until 2005 when Damo found his true love GESTURE TO MIZZ and relegated football on his priority list.

So it was February 2005. Mel and Chris had arranged an evening in Guildford for the usual suspects and instead of lucky seven we were 8 – their downstairs neighbour Mizz had been invited along. Mizz and Damo had met before, the 1st time was at Chris's birthday the previous year. The usual steady handed Damo had managed to break a sentimental tray of Mizz's. However she obviously forgave him and all went well on the night out in Guildford and they've been inseparable ever since. Damian even allowing for Mizz's obvious love of the band Coldplay.

I must say this speech has been very difficult to write, which is a testament to Damo. A best man speech is all about dishing the dirt on the groom, which is difficult when there is none. Damo's the most trustworthy, conscientious and honest person I know.

Although we've have had our differences over the years – I remember times when I would call Damian ‘ginger’, he would call me ‘Fat Boy’, and we would both run home crying. But sure enough, the next day, Damian would email me from work and we would make up.

He's been a great friend over the years and despite receiving a speeding ticket in his Morris Minor, he's been a safe one to be with. The only time things were a touch hairy was when he drove me to my wedding in his mum's Porsche – which reminds me when he was my Best man, my hands swelled to twice their size. I can only hope that other things swell to at least twice their size tonight otherwise– Mizz you are in for a quiet night. So mate, thanks for being a fab friend and I look forward to knowing you and Mizz for the rest of our lives.

With all that said I have to thank the adorable couple for honouring me as Best Man and from all of us for such a lovely spread….you must be very proud!

If you could all be upstanding and raise your glasses to Mizz &amp Damo the Bride and Groom!