Speech by Darryl Remzi

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Darryl Remzi
Speech Date: oct 2004
Good Afternoon everyone.…

Firstly on behalf of the bridesmaids and our little pageboy Thomas, I'd like to thank Ryan for his kind words, and I'm sure we all agree they have done an excellent job and look fantastic today.

You know – I really didn't know how I would follow Ryan's speech, and I was right. I couldn't follow a bloody word of it.

So for those of you who don't know me my name is Darryl and I've known Ryan for about 23 years, since we where about 4 or 5 years old, and It really is an honour to be here today as Ryan's best man, although it's probably one of the most terrifying thing he's ever made me do – and I'd really like to thank him for that, thanks mate.

As you may have guessed I've never done this before – so I thought the best thing to do is to copy a speech from the Internet. After a couple of hours of searching I found some FANTASTIC sites………but then realised I should really be concentrating on the speech.

I actually found hundreds of ready-made speeches on the Internet and 95% of them always started with the same old joke. That being best man is like making love to the Queen – it's a great honour – but nobody wants to do it – so I decided I wasn't going to use that one.

Infact the best advice I found was to keep the ABC and XYZ of speeches in my mind. ABC is Always Be Confident, and XYZ means eXamine Your Zip.

(…………EXAMIN ZIP)

Most of the Internet sites said I should make the speech as long as it takes for Ryan to make love, but I've already been talking for longer than that so I thought I would make it as long as Ryan spent on the loo this morning. So sit back people we are going to be here for a while. No really, I went in after him and nearly didn't make here at all.

Actually, being the best man is a big responsibility, and one that I haven't taken lightly. I came to the conclusion while researching this that being the Best Man is just like being a Nanny! – As the Nanny I've had to make sure that the Ryan arrived on time, that he was sober, and that he was looking good,

2 out of 3 isn't bad I suppose – after all I'm only the best man.

One thing I'm supposed to do is Dance with the bride after the groom and her father…

Now …I don't mind dancing with you Michelle, but there's no way I'm dancing with these two.

To be fair, I don't really know about Steve but I've seen Ryan dance and I want no part of that.

So what can I say about Ryan?

I suppose I should start by explaining to those in Michelle's family who may not know him very well.

The story begins on 23/10/1975 – some of you may remember it. – – – Michelle you may live to regret it – – – and for those of you who haven't guessed, it's the day Ryan was born.
About 4 or 5 years later his life took a turn for the better, he met me and we've been friends ever since.

Now, its fair to say that when me and Ryan where little we used to argue alot, I remember arguing about who was going to use the police car on my skalectrix, and that he would never let me ride his bike – – – So now's my chance to get my own back.

I've been racking my brain over the last couple of weeks – – – – trying to think of some suitable non X rated stories which I can tell in front of his friends and family.

I thought I would relive the stag do, but quickly realised 7 or 8 blokes would probably beat the hell out of me if I did, so that idea disappeared pretty quickly

From riding our bikes around the neighbourhood to passing our driving tests at the same time. We both had mums with the same cars, which we had great fun borrowing and racing about in (Sorry Carol)

And we've both been to all the local pubs and clubs so many times that I couldn't possibly recall all the stories. So, to Ryan's relief, I have decided not to tell any of them here tonight – – – but if you do want hear about the skinny dipping in Majorca and the drunken holidays to Cyprus, and the countless drinking sessions – – – meet me at the bar later – – – for a pint and I'll tell you anything you want to know.

Needless to say Ryan was a bit of a ladies man and women used to fall at his feet. But then he met Michelle and all that changed

Ryan, I think of you as a brother and seeing you here today – – – – with such a beautiful bride..… I realise what a great choice you have made. I'm envious and I admire your good taste, which is more than can be said for Michelle's.

Michelle wanted a simple wedding, which is what she got, starting with the groom.

Michelle you truly look stunning today. Ryan….you've scrubbed up quite nicely as well, but I'm not too pleased about you copying my suit.

On behalf of the bride and the groom, I'd like to thank everyone here for sharing their day, particularly those who have travelled long distances. And on behalf of myself, if you had all stayed at home then this would have been a lot easier on me.

I'd also to thank Michelle's parents for the wonderful day that they have organised for us all and It gives me great pleasure (not to mention relief) to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses as I have one last piece of advise to give to Ryan.

Ryan – – – To keep your marriage brimming – – – in the ever loving cup – – – if you ever have an argument – – – – when ever you are wrong – – – admit it – – – and when ever you are right – – – Shut Up.

Ryan and Michelle we wish you well for the future, and hope you enjoy a long, happy, and fruitful marriage. Ladies and Gentleman. The Bride and Groom