Speech by Dave Bramfitt

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Dave Bramfitt
Speech Date: Oct 2001
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Dave and it is my great pleasure to be here today as
Christopher's best man.

Although being best man is probably the most terrifying ordeals you could
inflict on anyone. I was very touched and honored that Chris had asked
me But I can assure you all that this is not the first time today I
have stood up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand.

It is said that being asked to be the best man is like making love to the
Queen Mother, it's a great honor but nobody wants to do it!

I think everybody would have to agree that Andrea looks absolutely
stunning the bridesmaids and Lewis look fantastic and along with
the brides dad, they all did an excellent job in getting Andrea to the
church on time.

One duty as the best man I tried to ensure is that Chris would get a
good night sleep. When I met with Chris this morning I asked him if he
was a bit nervous last night, he'd had a couple of drinks at Simon's
and said he'd slept like a baby. The truth is he woke up every
half-hour crying for his mammy.

Other duties this morning where I think I have been successful was to
get Chris to the church:
1 On time, which is a first
2 Sober, which is unusual.
3 And smart, which is unheard of.

Chris has been a really good friend to me over the years, one of those
mates you keep through thick & thin no matter what.

So what can I say about him.

He's Handsome
Witty
Intelligent
Charming
Er……Er….…

Sorry Chris, what's that say, I can't read your writing.

Seriously though I'm proud to be your best man and very pleased to be
one of your mates.

I have known Chris now for about 18 years I only got to know him after
our school days.

However I have found out that Chris did'nt like school much when
he actually turned up he wasn't too bad but he preferred other things
like messing about, camping out & shooting sparrows down the dene

Chris has told me that he was actually a very intelligent pupil, its
just a shame he devoted most of his time to everything apart from his school
work. I have manage however to get hold of a couple of Chris's old school
reports which make very interesting reading

Apparently he always had a problem with Maths. Knowing the difference
between inches and millimetres was the problem and Andrea informs me
that is still the case.

In music, Chris takes a very hands-on approach, but I wish he
had concentrated his efforts on playing in a band, rather than
playing with himself.

Since leaving school, Chris has had several jobs and has always
been known to be a hard worker. In fact nowadays at Metro Mail he is
known as god

– No-one ever see's him
– He makes his own rules
– And it is a bloody miracle if he does any work at all.

As most of us know he has always been a bit of a gambler, fruit
machines and cards his particular favourites.

A few years ago I remember him picking me up one Friday night from the
Labour Club when he was on the taxis.

As he approached my house at Shotton I knew he could not resist a
gamble.

But being under the influence and not looking before hand I offered him
the contents of my pocket as the taxi fair. I felt a right idiot when he
said that I'd given him about £10 worth of change for a fare that would have
only cost 2 quid.

That was one occasion where he come out on top. And after being engaged
for about 12 and a half years putting his penny's in Andrea's slot I
think he has finally collected the jackpot.

(Andrea said I could say that.)

Traditionally, the best man passes on a piece of advice about wedded life

This piece of advice most of the married men in this room will all have
learnt themselves.

The best way to remember your anniversary is to forget the first one.

And always remember to tell her those 3 little words ‘You're right,
dear’

Well Chris and Andrea have finally decided to get married for better or for
worse which is quite appropriate as Chris could not have done
any better and Andrea could not have done any worse.

Before I read out some cards I would like to ask Chris and Andrea to
participate in this speech. Andrea if I can ask you to place you hand
flat on the table now Chris, place your hand on top of Andrea's
Chris, take a deep breath and enjoy this moment as
this is the last time that you will ever have the upper hand.

******* read cards ********

Now once again behalf of the bride and groom I would like to thank you
all for coming and sharing their wedding day particularly those of
you who have travelled from Doncaster & Stockport.

Personally I would like to thank all of those involved in organizing today, the service was great, the food was lovely and I'm sure
tonight will be a great success.

Finally it gives me great pleasure not to mention relief to
invite you all to stand and raise your glasses to the New Mr. & Mrs Taylor

I am sure everyone here today would like to wish you good health
happiness and a wonderful life together.

Ladies & Gentlemen Your Bride & Groom.