Speech by Dave Hogg

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Dave Hogg
Speech Date: Jul2004
Ladies, gentlemen, boys, girls people from Bracknell

Right for those of you who don't know me my name is Dave &amp I am the best man

I would like to start by thanking everyone for being here on this special day, personally I wished you'd all stayed at home as it would have made my day a whole easier.

On behalf of myself, the bridesmaids &amp ushers I would like to thank Derrick for his kind words and gifts and reiterate what a fantastic job everyone did today and how nicely turned out they were…….… For a change!

Now I must admit that I thought following a speech by Derrick would be difficult, and I was right I couldn't follow a bloody word! When Derrick asked me to be best man my first thought was.. why me?! And then I thought perhaps Lyn had suggested me as the most sensible of Del's friends.… though I am not quite sure what that says about the rest of his mates!

Before I started writing my speech, I thought I would ask people for some advice:

First person I asked said, “ Don't be the best man”….… Obviously I ignored that
Second person said “ Make it up on the day”…… cheers Del but I don't think your mum would have been to impressed with that!
And the last person I asked said “ Use the internet” I thought that's a good idea but after a couple of hours surfing I was still no closer to writing a speech. However, I did get some great bargains on e@bay!!

OK on with the more traditional stuff, its at this point that I am supposed to praise the groom and talk about the joys of marriage, so here comes the shortest best mans speech in history @ Derrick is handsome, witty &amp intelligent. He also now owes me a tenner

But seriously Del &amp I first met when we started working together at the age of 16 this lasted two years before our employer told us one of us would have to leave as we had spent the entire time chatting &amp drinking beer
Derrick took the word ‘leave’ to the extreme and ran off to join the navy.
He travelled to many faraway places, most of which he had never even heard of before, such as Scotland….… &amp France!

I have chatted with a few of his old Navy boys for some funny stories about Del's time at sea, but unfortunately due to the official secrets act I am unable to share them with you. Lets just say there was a recurring theme of drinking, fighting women, and nightclubs………… which is odd as derrick maintains he spent the entire time protecting us from hoards of invading pirates!

So what else can I tell you about Buy@Sell Del? A nickname he has earned from being solely responsible for 95% of trading activity in the South East. You name it and Del has bought it..… and then sold it again, generally the same week!

What else? Well, Del loves DIY, not as much as he loves Mel but almost. What takes Del only a week could take his friends years, aint that right Mark / Paul?

A common misconception is that Mel is the chatty one in this relationship – not so, Derrick spends so much time on his mobile that Vodafone have approached him to replace David Beckham in their next marketing campaign…well he has the looks and personality, we'll just have to work on making Mel Posh!

I do have to take some credit for us being here today. I was there at the beginning, at the party where Derrick met the lovely Mel and they hit it off. We all agreed to meet up the next evening, but strangely Mel kept referring to Gary. ‘Who's Gary’ I asked Mel, who pointed at Derrick. Everything went quiet and I let her know in the kindest way possible that ‘Gary’ was in fact Derrick, and that was the start of a beautiful relationship…..… I must say, Derrick normally makes a better first impression, but then listening has never been Mel's strong point!

Speaking of the bride, Mel, who by the way is looking radiant today – I am sure you all agree @ is someone for whom we hold a lot of affection. Even the staff at the refund counters in M&ampS and Next consider her a friend! Mel loves to dress up – be it in full Supergirl costume or simply by putting a friend's furry bag on her head . Mel doesn't get out much, but when she does we know about it!! Mel is loyal, funny, and determined, and we wouldn't be without her generosity of spirit…..… We also don't think anyone else would marry Derrick!!

So to finish @ it's been an honour being best man to Derrick today, he is truly a great bloke whose heart has always been in the right place and I think you will all agree that Mel is his perfect match…and I am sure we all wish them a long and happy future together with their children Ben &amp Holly..… in which case..…
Ladies and Gentlemen could you all stand, raise your glasses to the bride and groom