Speech by David Hale

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: David Hale
Speech Date: 20/12/2014 10:23:52

The Wedding speech

It's now that time for the bridegroom's speech.

It's the part of the day that I've dreaded,

But convention decrees, that I must do it.

It's the price that you pay to get wedded.

Conventional speeches are boring.

I can't think of anything worse

So I've decided to flout convention

And deliver this speech in a verse.

To assist in keeping you wide awake

And not knock you out like a dental surgeon,

I intend this speech to fondly resemble

An Envoy Gordon SHORT mini-sermon.

To all you guests who've kindly so gathered,

To witness the events this day,

I find myself feeling a little bit nervous

About making a speech in this way.

My nerves have been jingling and jangling

My stomachs been churning away

I wrote this speech 5 months ago

And I've been practicing it every day!

My task now's to express all of our thanks

On behalf of Myself and my Wife,

And the biggest thanks are due to you all,

For sharing this day in our life.

The next is to thank our great parents

And not to forget – my Best Man

But since he's forgotten all of his speech

I'll fill in as best as I can.

I'm sure if my mother was still with us

She'd be delighted to witness this day.

And also remembering Jim Corner would too

And be pleased he's not having to pay.

And special thanks go out to all of our relatives

Who've come here from so far away?

We are delighted to have you here with us

It really has made our great day.

Great memories of life with old RAF mates,

We've aged just a little I'm told,

But We've gathered again after 20 long years

But this time – mostly we're bald !

Pat & Alex who've come from Down Under,

And travelled with no Kangaroo!

Pat loves the Great British shopping,

Alex loves eating all the Lidl's Croissants too!!

A big thank you is due to our Vicar,

For her excellent service today

She made the ceremony go so smoothly

And she kept all the gremlins away.

And thanks go out to young Alan,

Conductor of our Brass band

We always enjoy his arms waving

Infact Lesley's his number ONE fan !!!

The photos being taken today

I am finding a bit of a strain

It's tough when you're old and wrinkly like Dad

To keep smiling again and again.

But the photos will help us remember

All you friends who have given up your time

To spending this wedding day with us

And being subjected to this awful damn rhyme.

With the formal ceremony now over

At last we are Husband and Wife

To love and cherish till death do us part

Each day for the rest of our life.

Won't you agree that Lesley looks stunning?

The bridesmaids look fabulous too!

They make me feel quite under dressed,

Even-though My Welsh Tartan's brand new.

Lesley has organised the flowers

And planned how the bridesmaids be dressed

You have to admit it was worth it

And I trust that like me you're impressed.             

Lesley created the wedding cake,

With surprises in each of the tiers,

Quick get the knife out ! And cut out a slice !!

Or she'll keep it for years and years.

The bridesmaids look stunning in Burgundy

Hair and makeup that didn't run late

A toast and raise up your glasses –

To the bridesmaids – Kirsty & Kate.                    (Present Gifts to Bridesmaids)

Our smart young Ushers – Jack & Andrew

Performed duties without any fear

I thank you for herding the wonderful guests

And later I'll buy you a beer !                            (Present Tankards to Ushers)

The Invites and order of service,

Were hand-made without any restrain

A little of all sorts and everything!

Which I mention from now and again.

I guess that you'll know of our history

And how I discovered this dish

It all began on an dating website

Called www . plenty of fish

We then exchanged some emails

But quickly got frustrated by that

So we decided to jump in the deep end

And we met for a coffee and a chat.

Our first date, in Whitby exploring,

Gullible stories – and mention “a boat” !!!

But let her remind us the best day out of all,

Her hair and the Hungry Billy Goat.

On her 40th Birthday the following year

My love for that lady enraged

I dropped to one knee at “High Force”, she said “Yes”!

And from then we were officially engaged.

I honestly never expected

Such a major change of my life

That meeting a dish on a dating website

That would eventually become my dear wife.

To us – Lesley is beautiful

She's understanding, gentle and smart

Our beloved  “Cariad”

She truly touches every inch of our heart.

She's all that a man could wish for

A partner that's truly exciting

I could go on and on with such plaudits

But I just cannot read Lesley's writing.

Joking apart – on a serious note

I just meant it – every last word

And I'm now about to repeat it

To make sure that everyone's heard.

To me Lesley is beautiful

She's understanding, gentle and smart

She's My beloved “Cariad”

She touches every inch of MY heart.

And finally we must give a good mention,

To our Doggies and pussy cat too.

Life wouldn't be complete without,

Our 11 Valebrooke Avenue Zoo!!

So ! Stand Lads and Lasses and raise up your glasses

For all my good words are now spent

It's time you must toast

To the one I love most  –

Please Stand Ladies and Gents.

Now I trust that my lovely Wife “Lesley”

Will not feel uncomfortably coy

When we all drink a toast – To the one I love most

TO LESLEY – MY NEW BRIDE AND JOY.                      (all stand and drink a toast)

My best man will be soon to take over,

With stories of years gone by,

The one of Granny Jones’ Coal Bucket,

Which I'm sure it'll make you cry.

We Thank you all for making this day

Of many that we'll surely remember

The First one meeting on a dating website,

And now “tis 1st of November”.

But the work and planning was worth it

The pleasure has been quite extensive

May our future days be very very happy

But hopefully they are less expensive!

We will remember this day with affection

A great pleasure for us to recall

So thank you for spending our wedding day with us,

And thank you from us, one and all.

The End