Speech by David Leahy

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: David Leahy
Speech Date: sep 2003

Best Man's Speech (by David Leahy)

The Wedding of Morgan and Stacey 19 July 2003

Introduction:

Hello everyone, for those of you that don't know me my name is Dave Leahy and I must say that I'm very honoured to have been chosen as Morgan and Stacey's best man. There can't be many Best Men who can actually say they have known the Bride longer than the groom.

I can also add that this isn't the first time today that I've got up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand.

Well, it has come to that time of the wedding when its tradition to say a few things about the Groom….…

Now, Morgan wanted a Best Man who is resourceful, energetic and diplomatic. One who will not offend or cause problems. As you can see he is an appalling judge of character. Which brings me quite nicely to the point where I can demolish his character.

Just before that though and on behalf of the bridesmaids I'd like to thank Morgan for his kind words and I'm sure you will all agree with me when I say how fantastic they all look and that they have carried out there duties perfectly.

Morgan must have had other things on his mind a few months ago when we spoke about the wedding, as he said there would only be a pair bridesmaids, I now realise what he meant, and I can certainly confirm from here that there's not a bad pair between them.

When I came to think of a few amusing stories to tell you about Morgan I thought back to when Morgan and I first met. These of course were the days when Morgan had a pony tail, drove a Datsun and had aluminous green rubber curtains in his lounge! Morgan in those days was the closest thing Deal had to a Rastafarian!

Morgan and I were actually first introduced over lunch in the Pfizer restaurant some 8 years ago.

Morgan was the new guy in the lab and was taken to lunch with a colleague Sethi who is incidentally here today. As any group of regular lunch partners would be, we were somewhat sceptical of this quiet ‘new boy’ who had a pony tail and a designer jumper.

I might also add here that the pony tail was held in place by a very feminine looking elastic towling band and several times during lunch Morgan would fiddle with it to make sure it was tight.

After we had finished our lunch and the normal pleasantries had been exchanged with the new boy, one of the lads following another glance at the pony tail, thought he'd break the ice with the new boy and pipes up, “its nice to welcome one of your sort to our group”.

“Sorry, I'm not quite sure what you mean Morgan replied”,
“You know, one of you blokes that bats for the other side….”,

At that Morgan laughed and said, “Oh my hair, no I'm not Gay”. To which the same wise-cracking Guy piped up, “what, you mean you swing both ways, men and boys”?

So the usual banter started and sensing the fish having taken the bait we began reeling in our catch! The banter continued over coffee and the conclusion following lunch was that he wasn't a real poof but just helped them out when they were busy……

After putting up with a leg pulling like that I figured that the new boy, Morgan had strong character and that he would fit in well. Sure enough by the end of the week he was giving as good as he got.

To this day watching Morgan take the proverbial hook still gives his friends a lot of fun, although the subject has changed somewhat.

As time went by and I grew to know Morgan more I realised that far from being anything else, Morgan is a devout heterosexual. This of course can be confirmed by several young beauties at Franks nightclub.

Actually thinking back on it, they weren't particularly young or particularly beautiful………!

Story no. 2

Following his introduction into the group Morgan became one of the regular Saturday nighters and over the years we have certainly had more than our fair share of beer.

On another drunken occasion when attending one of the infamous Canterbury pub crawls, Morgan decided half way through the evening he had enough. This decision was probably brought about when I told him I wasn't mopping up any more of his vomit from the bar floor.

Morgan ignoring my suggestion of a cab stumbled off up the road to Canterbury West station. Following boarding the train he decided to have a snooze and was a tad surprised when he awoke at midnight just as the train pulled into London Victoria

Luckily Morgan on realising he had missed his stop and ended up in London managed to catch the very last train of the evening back to Margate arriving there around 2:30am.

Morgan…what can I say, you are a very lucky groom;……you've married Stacey today, she is beautiful, warm, loving and caring. She deserves a good husband.

Thank God she married you before she found one!

They say there are more than 2 rings to marriage, there's the;
suffeRing, the
enduRing and the
tortuRing……

They say ‘love is blind’ but marriage is defiantly an eye opener.

But seriously……….…

For anyone that meets Morgan it doesn't take them long to realise that he's a meat-loving insomniac and if by chance you happen to stay up late one evening to watch the Channel 4 late night film, there will always be Morgan to discuss it with.

Morgan is a dependable and trustworthy friend who has been a very caring and considerate Godfather to our son Blake. In fact we meet up so regularly with Morgan and Stacey that Blake knows them his 2nd Mum and Dad.

Advice

I'm not normally one for pearls of wisdom but:

Morgan remember, never swear at your wife if there are ladies present and remember the 3 magic words, “ your right dear……….”

Another piece of advice from all the married men here today, the best way to remember you anniversary is to forget it once and in the words of Oscar Wilde – women are meant to be loved not understood.

On behalf of myself, I wish you had all stayed in the pub as it would have been much easier on me. I started planning this speech 12 months ago and it feels as though I've been delivering it for the same time.

But now it gives me great pleasure to invite you all to stand and raise your glass in a toast, to the happy couple, because in all seriousness I think they were made for each other. May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old fashioned enough to last forever.

To Morgan and Stacey.

Just a few cards:

Read letter from Morgan's cousins.

Morgan and Stacey many Congratulations on this special day.
Stacey, we have found Morgan useless in virtually every position, even as the ball. We hope you have more success.
from the Chemistry dept 5-a-side football team.

Thankyou!