Speech by David Rothstein

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: David Rothstein
Speech Date: Sep2006
Appear nervous … Sorry if I appear a little uneasy but it has been an emotional day … so much so that even the cakes’ in tiers …

Natalie, Glenn, Diana, Maurice, Aunty Lynny, Uncle Allan, grandparents relatives &amp friends …

It is an honour to stand before you as best man today to play my part in celebrating what is a love match pure and simple … Natalie oh so pure and Glenn oh so simple !! . .. but more of that later.

Never before has a man been able to stand in a room with Natalie, Lynn, Diana, Carly and Katie and speak without interruption so Glenn I suggest you and I should make the most of it !!

Before we get to Glenn, and believe me we will, it would be wrong not to mention his new wife … Natalie you look stunning today applause … a true blushing bride!

Winston Churchill said that “my most brilliant achievement was to persuade my wife to marry me” and whilst Glenn's list of achievements in life do not quite sit alongside dear old Winston's its fair to say he has done pretty well for himself in getting you to say yes too.

Nat, in the short time I've known you I would describe you as thoughtful, mature, confident, intelligent and good looking. Glenn pause … well they say opposites attract !!

Glenn, when you asked me to be your best man it was both an honour that I was proud to accept and an opportunity I could not refuse !

Where do we start? Glenn … Glenny … Glenda … Glenn Boy

Well I can honestly say that in all the years I've known him, no one has ever questioned Glenn's intelligence. In fact I've never heard anyone mention it ! Despite this, one school report described our groom as an ideal pupil who excelled in most subjects pause no sorry that was an idle pupil expelled in most subjects !! Some examples

Geography – When planning our best route to this years European Cup Final I asked the lads which of the two French seaports, Calais or Bolougne, we would prefer to venture from. Glenn inexplicably announced to the group that Calais was our best bet as Bolougne was in Belgium ?? Not the last time I checked Glenny. Needless to say we went from Boulogne

Physical Education – Many years ago during a heated discussion while playing a computer game Glenn decided to throw a punch at me … 5 years, continuing complications and 3 operations on his OWN finger later, he'd be the first to admit it wasn't the brightest move he'd ever made

Common Sense – and possibly my favourite ‘daft’ Glenn moment was when en route to the unveiling of a headstone Glenn innocently and genuinely asked Uncle Allan if the unveiling would be taking place at the same location as the funeral !!! He is hard work Natalie … good luck!

Joking aside, I must talk a little about friendship. Most of you will know that Glenn and I have been the closest of pals since day one. We were for a while referred to by our own families as each others ‘boyfriends’ … so I must say a big thank you to Natalie and to Claire for pouring water on that nasty little rumour !!

As a means of bringing Natalie into our relationship I remember fondly when Glenn and I took Nat to her first Arsenal match at Watford. I must say that there was a disturbing amount of hugging and kissing after each of Arsenal's 4 goals … but Natalie, good as gold, looked on, said nothing and let us get on with it !!

Glenn raise glass to Glenn for 25 years you have been my best friend – trusting and honest, patient and loyal. Here's to all those Arsenal matches home, away and abroad, here's to all those Saturday morning fry ups, here's to all those summer holidays, here's to all those overs of cricket, sets of tennis and frames of snooker … I've enjoyed every minute of it.

I hope I have helped repay some of that friendship today by fulfilling my best man duties. Top of my list was least getting Glenn to the church on time. Even if I do say so myself this was an exceptional achievement both getting Glenn into a church and getting him anywhere on time !!

I also had the pleasure of organising a stag weekend in Dublin. I'll save those stories for those at the bar later but I can promise Natalie that Glenn didn't do anything he wasn't supposed to … a job made easier by the bouncers in one, or was it two ? establishments that wouldn't let Glenn do anything he wasn't supposed to !!

Groucho Marx said that “… marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution!” Well, looking at our bride and groom today you can start to see why some do and should take the plunge. In life, its difficult to imagine Del without Rodney, Ozzie without Sharon, Chandler without Joey, Arsene Wenger without Pat Rice and of course Glenn without Natalie!

On behalf of the bridesmaids, my fellow ushers and of all of us present I thank you both for the invitation to share this celebration with you. Let nothing spoil this wonderful day for two of the most kind hearted people you will ever have the privilege to meet. Please be upstanding, raise your glasses and toast your bride and groom, Glenn and Natalie … Mr and Mrs Davis.