Speech by Derek Baker
We have included third party products to help you navigate and enjoy life’s biggest moments. Purchases made through links on this page may earn us a commission.
Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Derek Baker
Speech Date: 07/09/2010 14:49:06
Good afternoon ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Derek Baker
I'd like to thank my brother and his new father-in-law for our warm-up act this afternoon.
Well GB, I hope you made the most of your speech.
Now you're a married man, that'll be the last time you get to speak for 5 minutes without being interrupted!
When GB asked me to be the Bestman, I started wondering what to say in my speach.
What do you say in my bestman's speech?
Well I turned to man best friend, Google.
I did actually find LOADS of ready-prepared speeches on the internet.
But sadly, NONE of them were about a couple called GB & MF
It was suggested that I tell some stories of GB‘s youth, so that you may learn something of his character.
1975 was a great year.
Born in [town of birth], those first 5 years where some of the best. Not a care in the world.
That is until Jan 1980, when my brother was born.
My first memories of GB‘s birth where being giving a small blue teddy bear, by the hospital staff!!
[SHRUGGLE SHOULDERS]
But more importantly, my Dad and I having fish ‘n’ Chips from our local chiping, 2 nights in a row.
One of GB‘s many qualities, is his ability to delegate in a crisis.
GB had a lovely blue shell suit. Do you remember those?
Made of … [WAVE HAND] plastic and keep away from radiators.
He had to convince Mum & Dad to buy it.
I remember one evening waiting for Mum and Dad to come home, when GB shout's out to me.
“Help me, Del”, he called, “I've spilt TipEx, on my shell suit! What are we going to do?”
I suggest we could let it dry then scraping it off with a compass .
Too which he replied.
“OK you do that, and I'll go and look out for Mum and Dad.”
When he was younger GB seemed to be destined for an acting career.
You see in his room back in our old house, his window had a built in balcony seat, which any 9 year-old could stand on.
With the curtain draw it made the perfect stage.
He'd have egg boxes as stage lights, held up with string.
String to pull open curtains, string to pull propers. Infact a ball of string was top of his Christmas list one year.
My role in all this was… well runner, light operator, at a stretch I might have called me 3rd technical assistant.
Each show brought in our faith crowd of 2, Mum and Dad.
One time we, sorry GB, took on the ambitious production of the Lord of the Rings.
Near the beginning of the story one of the main characters disappears during his birthday party speech by putting on the ring.
This is where GB‘s production began.
After many rehearsals of ‘the disappearing scene’, the stage was set.
Our audience are in there seats, drinking cups of tea. The lights are dimmed.
GB is on stage giving the birthday speach.
He steps forward to the edge of the stage.
He steps forward again on to a cardboard box, fall through it and disappears!
This was so perfectly acted, that it confused our audience.
Mum jumped out of her seat, spraying tea everywhere, and ran over to the box to see if GB had not hurt himself.
Instead thanking his mother for her loving concern of his saftely, GB ran off sulking that mum had got out of her chair and was interfering with the production.
Sadly The GB Production of the Lord of the Rings, went no further, however…
MF I noticed that you have a nice large bay window I your new house …
During this speech I'm suppose to get you some advice on marriage.
Well I've heard, the best way to remember your anniversary is to forget it!
Because once you've forgotten it once, you will never forget it again.
Seriously GB. Us blokes have a tendency to blunder in to things with out thinking too much about the consequences. Where women have the ability to see everyone's point of view. This is worth remembering.
Having said that though, GB if you're clever, you'll always have the last word.
If you're really clever, you'll never use it!
GB and MF, congratulations on becoming husband and wife.
I'm really pleased and proud of you both.
[HAND PAN's AUDIENCE]
As you look out at all your friends and family gathered here today.
I'm sure they are here for one reason … the free food/drink and disco.
No seriously we're all here because we love you, and want to support you in your new life together, God bless you both.
[FACE AUDIENCE]
Ladies and Gentlemen.
If you would stand, if you can. To join me by raising your glasses in a TOAST to the new Mr and Mrs B.
We wish them well for the future and hope they enjoy a long, happy marriage.
To MF and GB.
