Speech by Derek Flynn

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Derek Flynn
Speech Date: sep 2003
Section I

My turn already? I'm amazed how that's come round so quickly – up to a few minutes ago I was in a state of panic, frantically scribbling down a few notes on the back of a coaster…

I know I really shouldn't be nervous. After all, I am used to standing in front of large groups of people.

….It's just that, I don't usually have to say anything – the music's on loud and I have to do is wiggle my bum a lot!

I was just thinking, the human brain.… is a wonderful thing – it never stops working from the moment you're born.. ‘till the day you have to sit down & write the Best mans speech!

Anyway, for those of you who haven't already figured it out I'm Derek, Ian's brother

Doesn't Ian look well?
……I think copying my outfit has helped him out quite a bit (off the cuff)

Section II

Well, I'm glad you all managed to make it & would like to thank you for coming today (PAUSE) and making Brenda and Ian's wedding such a special occasion.

Droll Response Although personally speaking….I wish you'd all stayed at home and made my life a lot easier.

Top of the thank you list is …….Fr. Rory O'Sullivan for a lovely ceremony & helping them both to remain steady throughout it.

Actually, during the service today, I couldn't help thinking that it's funny how history repeats itself. I mean 36 years ago Brenda's family were sending her to bed with a dummy…(Pause)
……and it's happening again today.

I think you'll all agree with me that Brenda looks stunning,

& Ian,..… well………… you just simply look ……stunned!

Brenda you make a beautiful bride…….… & the bridesmaids & flower girls look lovely and have done a great job of taking care of you today.

Therefore I would like to thank the gang….…
Yvonne, Audrey, Dynphna, Fran & Sinead.

Also David, Aidan

The flower girls Shauna, Lauren, Celina & pageboys Connor, Nial & Morris

and last but not least the families of the bride and groom for helping put together such a wonderful event.

Quite a few people have travelled long distances today – Lizzy from London, people from Curasow
Zé and others from Portugal & the 2 newly weds just back from their Honeymoon,
Sonya & Neil! – Great to have you all with us

Finally, I would like us to remember friends and loved ones who cannot be here today
……and in particular our dad – Paddy,
….as he probably would have to pinch himself to believe his ears to hear Ian make such a major a commitment like,….… “I do”…….(PAUSE)
Also…and never will she be forgotten our granny – Angela Mitchell

Oh, I almost forgot, I just want to say thanks to the two remaining ushers Garrett & Mick. You guys look beautiful as well.

Section III

So what can I tell you about the groom, well to be honest although I have known Ian for all of my life,
I still haven't managed to get hold of any Garda records on him!

Brenda now where do I begin? (PAUSE)

I've actually known Brenda longer that even Ian knows her. And simply put you are a bubbly, warm, sincere and fun loving person.

…..And you didn't just pick this up from the ground.…
.… because, having got to know your family over recent months.…
.… I have found them all to be the same – wonderful welcoming people.

So I've no doubt in my mind about Brenda,.… and I'm saying this on behalf of my family, I would like to officially welcome her into ours.

Certainly one thing I have learned over the past two years is that they are perfect for each other, Brenda is a great worrier…

……and Ian is certainly someone to worry about!

There is genuinely nothing I wouldn't do for Ian, and I know equally there is nothing he wouldn't do for me.…
In fact we've spent our whole lives doing absolutely nothing for one another.
(PAUSE)

Anyway, just before we arrived I was given a few messages to read out from all those that,…
……a promise of a free meal and booze…
…..still couldn't convince them to leave their sofa and TV this afternoon:

But, before we start….I'd like to ask Ian and Brenda to participate in this part of the speech.

Brenda ..Please stand…….can I ask you to place your hand flat on the table…right Ian, if you can put your hand directly on top of Brenda's, …(PAUSE)

Enjoying that Ian?

Good, well make the most of it bro..… because it's the last time you'll ever have the upper hand!!!! (PAUSE)

Cards
Invite Aidan & Mick to read from a selection of cards

Flowers for the parents That's lovely, thanks Ian..thanks Brenda..that's great
Congratulations Mum…Congratulations Mai… You've now newly weds to worry about…along with everything else!

Seriously though, in my searching around to find a pertinent closing thought, all were overshadowed by the validity of the following:

"You don't marry someone because you can live with them,
……you marry them because you simply cannot live without them." — Congratulations!

Section IV – Toasts.

On behalf of the Bride and Groom, I'd like to thank everyone here for sharing their special day

I'd like to thank Brenda and Ian personally for selecting me as their best man.
It's been an honour, and I hope it all goes well for them because..…
……I'm certainty not doing this again!!

So, enough rambling, it's time to wrap up with a traditional toast for a couple of people who we have all taken into our hearts…………(PAUSE)

……………….Who mean so much to us and without whom this day would not have been the success that it has been,.…

so……….Ladies and gentlemen please raise your glasses and join me in a toast…
to………(PAUSE)…..”THE BAR STAFF”.

OK, OK…While we still have our glasses in our hands I'd like to pay special tribute to the two ladies who made it all possible

Mai & Agnes

And Finally
It gives me great pleasure, ……not to mention relief……..to invite you all

to charge your glasses

be upstanding, and join me in a toast……………..To the Bride and Groom

I'd like to hand back to Michael the manager& thank him and all his staff, etc.

Shit down & Shut Up!