Speech by Duncan

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Duncan
Speech Date: 19/08/2016 18:50:09

Good afternoon everyone, for those that don't know me I'm Rudi's brother Duncan. And For those that do know me, I promise not to swear! Just in case anyone was wondering, I am actually older than Rudi!

So, when Rudi asked me to be his best man, a warm, fuzzy feeling came over me….as I crapped myself! I've never given a public speech before, but I'm told it's like going to a nudist beach for the first time….it's only hard for the first couple of minutes!

Now, what can I say about my brother Rudi? aka MC rudeboy, the rude dog, the rude child, and sometimes, just a little bit rude. Well, he's one of life's nice guys. He always has time for his friends and family and rarely has a bad word to say about anyone. I don't think anyone here would deny Rudi his happiness today in marrying Katie, who, as we can all see, really does look rather gorgeous.

Rudi is the type of person who wouldn't hurt a fly, but mosquitoes, on the other hand, he could happily murder them for hours on end! There is no deadlier man than Rudi when he's got flip flop in hand. In fact, whenever we went on holiday, the only time he would stop killing mozzies would be during one of his many trips to the toilet! One of his many…many trips to the toilet!

Most people assume me and Rudi have always been close but, for a long time when we were kids, he did my head in! I'm not even sure why he bugged me, but every so often I'd feel the need to be horrible to him. Then, one day, after I was calling Rudi names, our Mum said to me ‘Duncan you shouldn't be horrible to Rudi, you should love him and look after him. He is, after all , your brother’ and for some reason, those words resonated with me, and I decided from then, to make an effort to form a closer bond with Rudi, which I think Rudi realised I was doing, as he too seemed to make an effort to build bridges.

I remember at that time, Rudi used to love playing with his organ. In fact he'd spend hours alone in his room bashing away on his organ, but with no end product . Then one day, he asked me if I'd like to play with his organ too. He must have known I'd had my eye on that bad boy for a while, so I gleefully accepted. And so, together, brother and brother, we worked away on Rudi's organ until finally, the magic happened…we worked out how to play chopsticks and the eastenders theme tune, and all of a sudden a glorious bond was formed!

But it wasn't all sunshine and lollipops, as over the years we've carried a healthy sibling rivalry. More recently, Rudi foolishly thinks he's better than me at a variety of sports including badminton, pool, snooker, tennis and ping pong, but hey, it's the thought that counts!

My earliest memory of our competitive streak was when we lived at Ash Rise. Myself and Rudi would always play in the spinney next door to our house and, come conker season, Rudi would always have to find a bigger stick than me and he always wanted to get the biggest and best conkers. And then it hit me, that Rudi has carried that mentality right the way through to his adult life. As even now, Rudi is still obsessed with the size of his stick, and, let's be honest, all of us men like to think we've got a lovely set of conkers! ?

Now, originally I was gonna wrap up this speech about now, but my proof reader said I should say something about the stag do. Alas, due to alcohol consumption, my memory is very blurry, so I probably can't recall most of it. All I remember is watching football! The Euros. I know the quarter finals were on, and then later that evening there was a semi on, weren't there Rudi? I'm not quite sure why there was a semi on but, as I say, the weekend was a blur!

Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, my little brother Rudi is all grown up now, and is a great guy, and now he's married a great gal who, I have to say, is a lot more beautiful than his conkers! I wish Katie and Rudi all the best for now and the future, and if everybody would raise their glasses we can give a toast to the new Mr and Mrs McIlravie. To Katie and Rudi.